Human mortality has caused us anguish as far back as we have written history. After all, the Epic of Gilgamesh is largely about dealing with the passing of Gilgamesh’s best buddy. But that doesn’t mean that humans treat danger as seriously as they should.
Someone asked the internet to share the dumbest stories of how someone passed and netizens did just that. Be warned, dumb can be funny, but a few of these tales are also pretty morbid. Otherwise, get comfortable as you scroll through, upvote your favorites and be sure to share your own experiences below.
#1

A guy I went to HS with bragged that he refused to approve sick days for his employees to get the Covid vaccine (The “Biden P***k,” as he called it).
He d**d from Covid in 2022. My sympathies were…limited.
He d**d from Covid in 2022. My sympathies were…limited.
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20points
#2

My moms cousin was dating the dumbest person we'd ever met.
He is actually in the Darwin awards. He's the guy who smoked inside the firework warehouse he worked at because it was raining outside. Blew up the warehouse and was gone.
He is actually in the Darwin awards. He's the guy who smoked inside the firework warehouse he worked at because it was raining outside. Blew up the warehouse and was gone.
19points
#3

I work in cancer care, and the answer is always "I've decided to go an alternate route."
We can't stop them. But that alternative route always ends one of two ways. We receive a notice that they've passed away, or they come back and instead of stage 1 or 2 (highly treatable for most cancers), they are now stage 4 with metastases with limited options and possibly only palliative or hospice options.
Recently had a patient I liked who disappeared for a couple years because she was "going to try holistic instead." She came back when she was in terrible pain. The previously easy to treat cancer had spread to her bones, causing fractures, and just... everywhere else. All we could offer was palliative. She passed away a few months later.
We can't stop them. But that alternative route always ends one of two ways. We receive a notice that they've passed away, or they come back and instead of stage 1 or 2 (highly treatable for most cancers), they are now stage 4 with metastases with limited options and possibly only palliative or hospice options.
Recently had a patient I liked who disappeared for a couple years because she was "going to try holistic instead." She came back when she was in terrible pain. The previously easy to treat cancer had spread to her bones, causing fractures, and just... everywhere else. All we could offer was palliative. She passed away a few months later.
18points
#4

A friend from h**h school was a cave diver and diving instructor. Various cave diving sites have different suggested levels of certification to safely dive. On his last day, he and a friend were in a dive shop discussing the dive they were planning. Someone in the shop who knew him pointed out that neither he nor his friend had reached the level of certification for that cave. His last known words as he left the shop were something like, "There's no such thing as dive police."
Their bodies were recovered a few days later. He left a wife and two small children.
Their bodies were recovered a few days later. He left a wife and two small children.
18points
#5

Deliberately caught COVID to prove it was harmless; d**d of COVID.
18points
#6

He didn’t d*e, but my husband’s uncle decided it was a good idea to climb a metal ladder in the middle of a storm. The wind blew the ladder onto a power line. The current entered through one arm and exited through the opposite leg. He lost that arm and leg. From then on, he was known as my husband’s half uncle.
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18points
#7

I knew a guy who got hit by a train because he had his headphones on and didn’t hear it coming. Unfortunatelly noise cancellation is really good.
17points
#8

Coworker years ago. Power was shut off due to lack of payment. He bypassed the shut off on the house so electrical company shut the power off at the transformer on the pole. He backed his pickup truck with a picnic table in the box to the pole. Set up a ladder on the table and use the garden rake to attempt to turn the power on. Might have been safer to pay the electric bill.
17points
#9

Went to college with a guy who got sepsis from licking a mystery liquid while doing urban exploration in an old hospital. We weren't friends but he was in one of my classes and it was not surprising that he passed away from something stupid.
17points
#10

Went kayaking while drunk. Without a life jacket. Dude couldn’t swim.
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17points
#11

I don't think it was dumb, but it was definitely a f***k accident. Relatively new dad went golfing with his buddies on a Sunday morning. He missed a shot and hit his club against a rock in mock anger. It broke. Broken club flew up in his carotid artery. He was gone by that night.
16points
#12

My firefighter uncle passed away from a tooth pick getting stuck in his throat after taking a bite of a sandwich.
16points
#13

Dropped a frozen turkey into a deep fryer in his garage.
15points
#14

I had a girl who used to work for me that I eventually had to fire because she was pathologically incapable of not inserting herself into drama. She would continuously insert herself into the middle of any argument or disagreement and fan the flames wildly. She moved 2 states away and was k****d in a drive-by by local g**g members because of some drama at work she involved herself in.
Edit to add another I just thought of that u/future_speedbump made me think of. A manager at another store in our district told an employee trying to call out with COVID that she had to come to work. She did, the entire management staff got sick. He d**d in the hospital 3 days after showing symptoms.
Edit to add another I just thought of that u/future_speedbump made me think of. A manager at another store in our district told an employee trying to call out with COVID that she had to come to work. She did, the entire management staff got sick. He d**d in the hospital 3 days after showing symptoms.
15points
#15

Caught a rare disease from their pet rat. Sad and weird and came totally out of nowhere. Now I flinch if someone I know gets a pet rat.
15points
#16

Never actually met the guy, but he was my sister in law's ex husband. He went out drinking with his new wife. He was too drunk to drive so she drove them home. He was passed out and too drunk for her to get him out of the car so she left him there and went inside. She fell asleep (I think she was pretty drunk, too). He froze.
14points
#17

Tried to rob a d**g d***er with an airsoft g*n.
14points
#18

Hit a train at a gate crossing in a sports car. Not the front of the train, the side of the train. In daylight, clear weather, no ice. Guy was a mechanic with his brand new dream car.
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14points
#19
Engine antifreeze drinking contest. Yes you read that right. One d**d, one pretty messed up.
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14points
#20

My uncle survived throat cancer. He passed away not even a month after being cleared by choking on pizza crust. He had a hard time swallowing after having a trache for so long.
13points

