Part of the beauty of humankind is how imperfect we all actually are. Think of the level of naivety, false hopes, wrong assumptions and beliefs we all swear by, day by day, without questioning them twice. How on earth can we be so oblivious?
So this post serves as a tribute to all the headless selves who believe the craziest conspiracies, or things adults mockingly told us when we were little, or stuff we read on fishy forums. Inspired by a seemingly simple question posed on r/AskReddit “What's the dumbest thing you've ever heard someone say?” it offers a glimpse into the absurd wonderland of arguments that leave our mouths, making others cringe in return. Like, genuinely asking a flight attendant if you could open a window because it’s feeling really hot.
#1
some girl once told me that it was impossible for me to be vietnamese bc vietnam was a war and not a country. this happened while in college smh
Report
373points
#2
A few years ago leading up to the great American eclipse a coworker overheard us discussing it and said "Y'all don't actually believe in that [stuff] do you?" I figured he misunderstood whatever we were talking about and thought we were talking about mysticism or something regarding the eclipse but no he followed up with "Don't you know if the moon went into the sun it would melt, that's why the eclipse can't be real."
I genuinely felt like humanity should probably start over from scratch after that.
Report
368points
#3
Work at a hotel. Guest asked why there was no fourth of July parade or any fireworks in town. We were in Australia.
Report
366points
#4
When I was like 13 I told my friend that there was such a thing as a Liger. They had successfully mated a lion and a tiger. His response “you idiot, tigers ARE female lions”
....
We took the argument to his mother to settle it. She took his side
358points
#5
"It's been proven that if you dream about falling and hit the ground in your dream you will die in your sleep."
Yeah? If someone dies in their sleep, how do you know what they were dreaming?
Report
335points
#6
A girl in my class asked why do farms exist if she gets her food from the supermarket.The teacher had such a disappointed face and everyone looked at her and wondered how did she pass the all the way through the 8th grade
Report
320points
#7
I worked retail as a summer job about 17 years ago. I was putting out coffee cups with a coworker.
"Why don't they make left handed coffee cups?"
I quietly turned one of the mugs 180 degrees without saying anything.
Last I heard she was the assistant manager of that department.
Report
275points
#8
My sister panicked whilst on a plane and asked if she could open a window as she was feeling really hot - the guy in the seats across from her lost it, it made his day
Report
264points
#9
“Wait is it just me or do meteors always land in craters” said the smartest guy in my class
Report
259points
#10
22-year-old girlfriend, after having walked under some street lamps: “I just discovered that we have 2 shadows. I think the other one is only visible at night.”
I explained what shadows are and how they're dependent on the light source. There was visible brain processing strain on her face.
Report
254points
#11
My friend once told me he wasn't too concerned about using birth control because everyone knows the girl can only get pregnant if they both come at the same time. His gf was pregnant 3 months later.
253points
#12
I remarked that it’s odd that we associate rabbits with EGGS for Easter. I jokingly said we should make it an Easter platypus because unlike rabbits they lay eggs.
Then someone overheard this and said “wait... no, rabbits DO lay eggs.”
This turned into a two minute argument over whether or not rabbits lay eggs. And then when she finally accepted that she was wrong, she was so irritated that she asked all of her coworkers if they thought the same as her.
To the best of my knowledge she’s the only one.
Report
234points
#13
A customer came in today and apparently had a an excuse for not wearing a mask. We offered curbside pickup for their safety and the safety of others. They let us know that they work at a covid clinic, so they had "literally 0% chance of contracting it".
Report
224points
#14
Co-worker at my last job during lunch:
Him: "The moon landings obviously didn't happen"
Me: "Thats awkward I was bouncing lasers off the mirrors we left there at Uni." (Physics Graduate)
Him after pausing: "Theres loads of ways they could have got there, aliens could have plonked them down"
Man literally believes in aliens but not the moon landings and is a manager at a large company
Report
221points
#15
The spork is "the devil's utensil" because it is the amalgamation of the masculine fork and the feminine spoon and is trying to blur gender lines in society.
Report
219points
#16
Someone once said.
"But I don't want to put the bag of aquatic snails inside the fish tank, they might drown!"
That someone was me.
Past me is dumb.
Report
209points
#17
someone tried to convince me that snakes don’t have bones. I showed him some pictures of snake skeletons and he said “yeah they have ribs, not bones”
Report
199points
#19
'Can't we just exterminate all bacteria and viruses so we can't get sick anymore?'
Literally heard someone say this in Microbiology class. MICROBIOLOGY CLASS!
195points
#20
That chickens have no brains. Not that they are stupid. That a chicken literally does not have a brain.
Report
193points