Nope. Your email did not find me well today. In fact, it finds me wondering how I ended up working with an imbecile… If you’ve ever found yourself thinking something along those lines, you might be dealing with someone who is not the sharpest tool in your company’s proverbial shed.
Whether they just don’t follow instructions, refuse to listen, make the same stupid mistakes over and over again, or simply do not think before allowing the verbal diarrhea to come spewing out of their mouth, it can be frustrating to know that this person somehow got an adult job when it seems they'd be better off going back to school.
As tempting as it may be to blow a gasket or scream “shut up!” this isn’t the professional way to go about dealing with idiots in the workplace. A guy called Michael Cauchon has provided some pretty solid and helpful one-liners to use in certain situations where dumb reigns supreme.
For example, do you work with someone who seemingly failed comprehension at school, or won’t take the time to read the whole email? Here’s what he suggests you say:
“The previous communications contain the information you are looking for, but I will paste it here for clarity.”
“Reattaching my email to provide further clarity. I have highlighted the part that concerns this the most.”
“I have included my initial email below which contains all of the details you are looking for.”
“I previously sent you an email regarding that, but please let me know if something went wrong in transit.”
“Try problem-solving on your own before you come to me.”
“I encourage you to brainstorm possible solutions prior to looping me in for additional support.”
You gave your coworker advice, or warned them that something wasn't going to work, but surprise, surprise, they didn't listen. Now everything has gone south. Instead of the good old "I told you so" jab, Cauchon suggests responding with this gem:
"As per my prediction, this outcome does not come as a surprise…"
And what if said coworker now wants you to fix their mess? Cauchon, a copywriter by day and apparently a guru of comebacks by day and night, advises that you throw it right back at them. Politely, of course.
You could say, "I did previously note that this was a likely outcome, how do you plan to resolve this?" or you could try, "As I mentioned something of this effect may happen, so moving forward, what do you believe would be the best solution to remedy this?"
Of course, it has to be said that sometimes when we think we're dealing with a dumb coworker, the call might be coming from inside the house. In other words, we are the problem. Not them.
For example, if you have shown someone how to do something several times and they still don't get it, it's possible that you're a bad teacher.
"Don't assume that the problem belongs to them. This is part of how you come to see the full picture. They might just be dumb, poor learners, but they also might not understand what you keep telling them and fear your reaction if they tell you. By not blaming them, you give them a chance to offer an explanation," explains the Lifehacker site in response to a reader seeking advice on a frustratingly dumb coworker.
Lifehacker's experts go on to say that if you're a terrible teacher, this so-called dumb coworker can help you learn to be better. "Maybe they just struggle with certain tasks and don't know what to do. In this case, you can ask how to teach them and work with them a little more closely," they suggest.
If that doesn't work, you may want to call in the help of a few other colleagues. "In the event you're alone in dealing with a coworker of deficient intelligence, make sure other people know the problem as well," notes Lifehacker. "Ask someone on your level or above you to work with this problematic coworker for a little while and assess the situation."
If your smarter coworkers don't find a problem with the person you're complaining about, you might very well be the problem.
"Often times a breakdown in communication can make someone seem stupid when they actually have quite a bit of intelligence," cautions the Lifehacker team. They suggest having lunch with the person so you can get to know them a bit better.
"This might sound miserable, given how you feel about them, but it can give you a chance to understand their behavior a little better," they explain. "That can provide insight into how they operate and how you can communicate with them more effectively."
