“You’re Not Really Disabled Tho”: 50 Of The Dumbest Things People Have Said In All Seriousness

COVID isn't real. Damnit, I worked in a hospital during COVID. DO NOT TELL ME COVID IS NOT REAL. And especially when I am sick for 10 days with.

I'm sure I've heard something more dumb but someone once said to me, "Snakes aren't animals. They're lizards."

When I told him that snakes and lizards are both reptiles and reptiles are animals he said, "Clearly you haven't done your research."

I have a degree in biology.

My aunt (who was pushing 40) wondered if she needed to worry about prostate cancer, since her grandfather had it.

This is the same aunt who insisted that the Dutch are from Denmark. When I told her the Dutch come from the Netherlands she was like "no, sweetie, those are Neanderthals!".

Visited a historic site with a friend, when the guide told us it was Neolithic, older than Christ, she was shocked that people existed before Christ. She’s a nurse.

Lad I used to know when we were 17 or so once said he knew someone who could run a mile in one minute. When I called b******t, he said "how tf would you know?", so I said he'd have to be running at 60mph. He then asked me how I knew that, so I said well if he could run a mile in one minute, that means 60 miles in 60 minutes, therefore 60 miles per hour. He then said "that's not how it works". Bless him.

I went to see a Dr. for my neck issues. She was asking me questions. She asked about my commute to work. I said I did have a long commute. My neck would bother me while driving. The Dr. told me, in all seriousness, when traffic is stopped on the freeway get out of the car and walk around the car as many times as possible to stretch. 🤔 walk around the car while stopped in freeway traffic. I never had another appointment with her again.

"Okay well if the earth is round, then how come Australians don't fall of?"

Then she looked at me with a sufficient smirk like she just debunked centuries of science.

Old co-worker of mine:

"Nowadays 12 year old girls get abortions because they think it will make them popular!"

He was a f*****g idiot.

Knew a girl in high school who thought chipmunks were baby squirrels. While not the most outrageous thing to think, when we all told her that wasn't the case, the teacher told her that wasn't the case, the internet told her that wasn't the case and an encyclopedia from the library told her that wasn't the case, she refused to believe it. She even went so far as to lie about having a pet chipmunk that grew into a squirrel. I wonder how she's doing these days. Oh yea she's in the United States House of Representatives. Figures.

Worked on an animated movie as a group project, had this discussion;

“Can you take a look at the credits and check that it’s correct?”

“Yeah it looks good except you put me and Dave on character design. I did character design and Dave did the backgrounds. If you can fix that it’s all good.”

“So credit Dave for the backgrounds? Like this?”

“Yes, and remove him from character design”

“Why?”

“Because he didn’t design any characters, I designed every character on screen.”

“But he drew a boat.”

“Yes, but it wasn’t a sentient boat, and it was in the background. So it’s part of background design.”

“But he drew a plane.”

“It was also not a sentient plane. Characters are the things that are alive.”

“I seriously don’t understand what you want me to do.”

“Remove Dave from character design, since he didn’t design any.”

“That doesn’t sound fair.”

“Hi Dave, did you design any characters?”

(Dave) “No, you did all of them, remember?”

“See, Dave didn’t design any characters can you please remove him from character design”

“Ok, if it’s that important to you🙄”.

I had a roommate once who was, to put it nicely, not the brightest. Once we were ordering from a takeout place and she asked, "what is goat meat?"

My friend and I stared at her, confused by her question. "It's goat" we answered.

"No, but like what animal does it come from?"

"Goat."

"But like, pork is from pigs, beef is from cows, what is goat meat from?"

" A GOAT"

"no, but like..."

You can imagine the rest of the conversation. My friend and I still laugh about this, years later. Not the stupidest thing she ever said, but definitely my favorite.

I used to work at a CONCRETE dam. I've been asked 3 different times if it is a man-made dam while looking at the dam.

"You're not really disabled tho"
Just cause you can't see my disability right away, I can function fine day to day and am not in excruciating pain 90% of the time, doesn't mean I'm not physically disabled.
Like the bones in my arm are fused together since I was born, I was never able to turn my wrist and it affects about 90% of movements I make with my hand ... Sounds pretty physically disabled to me 🤷‍♀️.

“I didn’t think you’d really leave. You don’t just divorce someone because they are a bad husband.”

- My ex. I got tons of dumb one liners from him!

I work at my husband’s auto repair shop. After discussing next steps with a customer, I told them their gas light was on. They sighed and said, “great… how do we fix that?”

My response was dead silence. I was trying to determine if they were messing with me or not. They realized during my silence with the look on my face that they just needed to put gas in the car. They are one of my favorite customers now and they certainly keep me on my toes!

When I was still in the restaurant industry, someone ordered a turkey burger, medium rare. I explained that we have to serve the turkey burger fully cooked, due to it being poultry.

“But it’s a burger.”

“Yes, but it’s a patty made out of poultry.”

“So why is it on the burger menu?”

“Well, it even says on the menu that our turkey burgers are cooked well done.”

“But your burgers are cooked to order.”

“Yes, our beef patties are cooked to order. Turkey burgers need to be fully cooked.”

She begrudgingly relented. Then complained to my then-manager that I’m an idiot.

An old ex, when I confronted him about his clashing outfit, told me he doesn’t know because he isn’t a fascist… I asked him what he meant, and he said “you know, someone who is into fashion”.

My dad couldn’t stand him and thought this was the funniest joke ever.

A woman told me: "I understand boys better than you do because I have 2 sons and you don't."

I'm a man.

During the peak of the Covid pandemic, one of my parents set me aside to express how "concerned" they were about me at work because I might get brain damage from wearing a face mask.

One of my siblings works at a dental office, and they've been wearing face masks at work for years.

*Don't ever do that again! If you blow your nose while on the toilet and while on your period, your organs will fall out of your b******e and vagina and you'll die.*

Said to me by my mother the first time I got my period. I had the flu at the same time. Ripped TP off the roll and blew my nose. She wagged her finger in my face and told me the above statement.

I'm 29 now. Still waiting for my organs to fall out of my b******e or lady bits. I figure it's gotta be any day now, right?