911 (or 999 in the UK) is the number you call when there's an emergency. However, it turns out that people have very different definitions of "emergency." For some, a fire, a car accident, or some other dangerous situation constitutes an urgent matter. For others, however, a kitten stuck in a tree seems like a reason to call emergency services.
911 dispatchers get about 240 million calls in the U.S. every year. Unfortunately, some of them take up the line for the stupidest reasons imaginable. In a recent online thread, one person asked, "911/999 dispatchers, what's the dumbest reason someone has ever called emergency services?"
Some of the answers might make you wonder how these people are able to function in society at all, as it really takes a certain kind of person to dial 911 for things like locking their keys in a car, a man not holding the door for them, or checking which hockey team won the Olympic games.
#1
Retired cop here. Woman used to call like 4 or 5 times a week because of a ghost in her attic. I was still in training at the time, and my training officer, an old, salty Sgt. who was hired the year I was born, was with me. He knew the address immediately and literally said "This is ending today." and he directed me to pull into a Dollar General. He walks out with a mason jar that he bought.
We get to the home and we meet the lady. He tells her "we're going to fix your ghost problem today!". We go up, shuffle around a bit, and he lights a cigarette. Blows the smoke into the jar and puts the lid on.
We go back downstairs and he proudly shows her the jar. "We got him!" She was beaming. Never heard from her again.
We get to the home and we meet the lady. He tells her "we're going to fix your ghost problem today!". We go up, shuffle around a bit, and he lights a cigarette. Blows the smoke into the jar and puts the lid on.
We go back downstairs and he proudly shows her the jar. "We got him!" She was beaming. Never heard from her again.
40points
#2
Dumbest but also cutest was when my friend got dispatched to a call from a kid saying she had to go to jail for hurting her baby. She had accidentally popped the arm off her dolly. The operator asked for a parent and got a hang up, so they priority dispatched my friend to the call location as no one was picking up. Apparently the little girl was waiting on the stoop with her dolly when my friend showed up. Mom was mortified and didn’t know what happened as she was busy with her newborn and dad was busy fixing a clogged toilet. After fixing the dolly and saying that 911 was only for people emergencies and dolly emergencies are for mom and dad, my friend left with his partner and they dismissed the fines.
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28points
#3
I help to run a small historic cemetery. A neighbor called the police on our landscaper because he was mowing the cemetery while Black.
I hate that neighbor.
I hate that neighbor.
26points
#4
- Guy once called during a power outage to ask what the score of the USA vs Canada gold medal olympic game was. I'm Canadian. Obviously I told him.
- 14 year old called to complain that her mother took away her vodka and demanded it be returned. It was not returned.
- Tourist reported a bear crossed the highway about 100km outside the city. Yes sir, we live in the forest.
- Old man reported kids being loud in the playground. It was 2pm.
- American tourist complained that the fish in the lake weren't biting and by god he paid a lot of money for this trip.
- Old lady called to complain that a random man didn't hold the door open for her.
- Got yelled at once because no one turned on the northern lights.
- 14 year old called to complain that her mother took away her vodka and demanded it be returned. It was not returned.
- Tourist reported a bear crossed the highway about 100km outside the city. Yes sir, we live in the forest.
- Old man reported kids being loud in the playground. It was 2pm.
- American tourist complained that the fish in the lake weren't biting and by god he paid a lot of money for this trip.
- Old lady called to complain that a random man didn't hold the door open for her.
- Got yelled at once because no one turned on the northern lights.
21points
#5
God, so many.
3am call in the middle of nowhere (30 min response time for my poor, sleeping crew). Tooth pain for 2 years. When asked why he chose that exact moment to call, he “just felt like it was time”.
Working in a National Park. Woman called because a bull elk was “making sad noises” and was “separated from its group”. Had to delicately explain to her how elk mating season worked.
Woman called because her son had super glued his index fingers and thumbs together. During our whole conversation she’s laughing at him and verbally berating him. I thought this was kind of a terrible way to treat a child. I asked his age. Reddit, this man was 32 years old.
A man called because his friend got drunk and decided to wrestle a Javalina (Google it if you don’t know what it is, but think hybrid pig-rat). The Javalina won and ate his finger. While technically yes this is an emergency, it was a really dumb thing to do in the first place.
An elderly woman called because her TV broke and she couldn’t get a TV repair place to come after hours. She wanted the police to come out and fix it for her. She did not understand that police did not possess the skill set for this.
Also in the National Park. Midwestern white lady calls to report a “suspicious person” near one of the museums. Shockingly, her description of the suspicious person is darker skinned, and his suspicious behavior is “skulking around staring at people”. I give out the call to NPS LE, and the ranger (one of my favorite humans of all time) tells me to have her stay put so she can meet up with her. As it turns out, dude was Native American, and he was there helping set up for a cultural demonstration. He wasn’t staring at people, he was watching for his sister who was supposed to assist him. The LE ranger, again, one of my favorite humans of all time, read this lady the riot act, and gave her a verbal warning for harassment. I loved it. Park rangers don’t play.
And then of course, several Karens calling because fast food place/service place/hair salon didn’t do a thing to their standard.
3am call in the middle of nowhere (30 min response time for my poor, sleeping crew). Tooth pain for 2 years. When asked why he chose that exact moment to call, he “just felt like it was time”.
Working in a National Park. Woman called because a bull elk was “making sad noises” and was “separated from its group”. Had to delicately explain to her how elk mating season worked.
Woman called because her son had super glued his index fingers and thumbs together. During our whole conversation she’s laughing at him and verbally berating him. I thought this was kind of a terrible way to treat a child. I asked his age. Reddit, this man was 32 years old.
A man called because his friend got drunk and decided to wrestle a Javalina (Google it if you don’t know what it is, but think hybrid pig-rat). The Javalina won and ate his finger. While technically yes this is an emergency, it was a really dumb thing to do in the first place.
An elderly woman called because her TV broke and she couldn’t get a TV repair place to come after hours. She wanted the police to come out and fix it for her. She did not understand that police did not possess the skill set for this.
Also in the National Park. Midwestern white lady calls to report a “suspicious person” near one of the museums. Shockingly, her description of the suspicious person is darker skinned, and his suspicious behavior is “skulking around staring at people”. I give out the call to NPS LE, and the ranger (one of my favorite humans of all time) tells me to have her stay put so she can meet up with her. As it turns out, dude was Native American, and he was there helping set up for a cultural demonstration. He wasn’t staring at people, he was watching for his sister who was supposed to assist him. The LE ranger, again, one of my favorite humans of all time, read this lady the riot act, and gave her a verbal warning for harassment. I loved it. Park rangers don’t play.
And then of course, several Karens calling because fast food place/service place/hair salon didn’t do a thing to their standard.
19points
#6
Their KFC was cold. Same idiot called back 2 weeks later to say the KFC was out of wings.
Edit: I just remembered!
This genius called from a payphone (way back before cell phones were invented). He didn’t have money for the payphone but dialling 911 was free. He wanted to be put through to his friend, and since it was 2 AM and nothing was going on, I agreed to put him through, but I advised him to make it fast and that I would be staying on the line monitoring the call and if an emergency occurred I’d disconnect his call.
He agreed, and I put him through to his friend, genius number 2. I gave the same info to Genius 2 and he agreed, and then I listened as the two geniuses plotted to break into a shop so they could steal the safe. Genius 2 said that he was sending a truck over to help Genius 1 and to stay on the line until it got there - and then asked me if that was ok!
I said sure it was ok, because my partner had already dispatched police. The police decided to just wait a few blocks away until the truck arrived and the driver got out and then they moved in.
Edit: I just remembered!
This genius called from a payphone (way back before cell phones were invented). He didn’t have money for the payphone but dialling 911 was free. He wanted to be put through to his friend, and since it was 2 AM and nothing was going on, I agreed to put him through, but I advised him to make it fast and that I would be staying on the line monitoring the call and if an emergency occurred I’d disconnect his call.
He agreed, and I put him through to his friend, genius number 2. I gave the same info to Genius 2 and he agreed, and then I listened as the two geniuses plotted to break into a shop so they could steal the safe. Genius 2 said that he was sending a truck over to help Genius 1 and to stay on the line until it got there - and then asked me if that was ok!
I said sure it was ok, because my partner had already dispatched police. The police decided to just wait a few blocks away until the truck arrived and the driver got out and then they moved in.
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19points
#7
A man burned his foot on a George Foreman grill. He set it up next to his bedside so that he could wake up to the smell of fresh bacon… he jumped out of bed, stepped on it and it clasped around his foot. Terrible burns, some would even more serious than head trauma.
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18points
#8
The Town had recently installed a "Deer Crossing" sign to a major intersection. A woman called in to complain because people "fly down that road" and she did not think that was an appropriate place for the deer to cross.
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18points
#9
I was visiting my mother (age 96) and she reported me (age 68) to 911 as a missing child because I hadn't gotten back by dark.
17points
#10
I am not a dispatcher, but I have worked EMS and I've responded to a few frivolous calls.
I responded to a public toilet from which a bystander called 911 because there was an "unresponsive person" in the toilet stall. As it turns out, the guy in the toilet stall had diarrhea, and wasn't unresponsive, he just didn't feel like talking to some random person who was bothering him while he was pooping. He definitely did not want any assistance from EMS.
Edit: Real world emergencies exist where unresponsive people need ambulances, but I can guarantee you that in those situations, the person calling an ambulance probably asked, "do you need an ambulance?" before making the unilateral decision to call an ambulance. That didn't happen for my call, the pooper had no idea that EMS was called. It was not a situation where someone was being helpful, they were being crazy.
I responded to a public toilet from which a bystander called 911 because there was an "unresponsive person" in the toilet stall. As it turns out, the guy in the toilet stall had diarrhea, and wasn't unresponsive, he just didn't feel like talking to some random person who was bothering him while he was pooping. He definitely did not want any assistance from EMS.
Edit: Real world emergencies exist where unresponsive people need ambulances, but I can guarantee you that in those situations, the person calling an ambulance probably asked, "do you need an ambulance?" before making the unilateral decision to call an ambulance. That didn't happen for my call, the pooper had no idea that EMS was called. It was not a situation where someone was being helpful, they were being crazy.
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15points
#11
I had a parking attendant call about two guys on bikes riding around looking at cars and he thought it was suspicious.
I'll give you one guess where my bike units were.
I'll give you one guess where my bike units were.
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15points
#12
Someone called to report their neighbors dropping pebbles into their lawn. Not rocks, pebbles. Into her pebbled driveway. Turns out it wasn’t happening and she had actually been harassing them for months and they had proof and she actually got arrested because it escalated so much that she attacked the cop.
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14points
#13
I'm not 911 but I was managing a retail store and a customer asked me to call the police for them.
I inquired why what was going on.
They said they locked their keys in the car.
I told them we don't need the police for that but I can look up a locksmith for them.
They insisted the police told them they would help if they locked their keys in their car.
I said ok well I guess I'll look up their non emergency number since this isn't a 911 event.
The customer says oh I have the police number saved in my phone.
They pull out their phone and start to look for the number in contacts.
It takes a while.
Finally find town name police. (For the town we are near but not in)
Click on it and reveal the saved number is 911.
They dial it themselves (why did they need my help?) and turn on speaker.
The operator asks what's going on, they talk about the locked car, the operator says "ma'am you don't call 911 for that"
The customer walks out of the store still on the phone.
Edit: Lots of comments about how sometimes polices do help with locked cars. That's awesome. I didn't know at the time and at least in our area you aren't meant to call it in as an emergency.
I inquired why what was going on.
They said they locked their keys in the car.
I told them we don't need the police for that but I can look up a locksmith for them.
They insisted the police told them they would help if they locked their keys in their car.
I said ok well I guess I'll look up their non emergency number since this isn't a 911 event.
The customer says oh I have the police number saved in my phone.
They pull out their phone and start to look for the number in contacts.
It takes a while.
Finally find town name police. (For the town we are near but not in)
Click on it and reveal the saved number is 911.
They dial it themselves (why did they need my help?) and turn on speaker.
The operator asks what's going on, they talk about the locked car, the operator says "ma'am you don't call 911 for that"
The customer walks out of the store still on the phone.
Edit: Lots of comments about how sometimes polices do help with locked cars. That's awesome. I didn't know at the time and at least in our area you aren't meant to call it in as an emergency.
13points
#14
Had a caller asking for a restaurant phone number in a different town. Wasn't an elderly person so they got a lecture.
A lot of times you'll get elderly calling to ask for stuff like the time; if they are confused its often a prompt for me to send LEOs just to do a welfare check on them if they sound really out of it.
A lot of times you'll get elderly calling to ask for stuff like the time; if they are confused its often a prompt for me to send LEOs just to do a welfare check on them if they sound really out of it.
13points
#15
I’ve had a few folks call because the drive-thru closed before they thought it should, or because they were refused service for being a jerk and/or drunk.
You have your usual dementia-adjacent folks who are convinced random passers-by are out to get them.
My wife once called me at 911 because she thought someone was breaking into the house. She heard banging and scratching at the back door. Turns out an opossum had fallen into the recycle can we left by the back door for soda cans and couldn’t get out, causing it to bump up against the house.
You have your usual dementia-adjacent folks who are convinced random passers-by are out to get them.
My wife once called me at 911 because she thought someone was breaking into the house. She heard banging and scratching at the back door. Turns out an opossum had fallen into the recycle can we left by the back door for soda cans and couldn’t get out, causing it to bump up against the house.
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13points
#16
So I placed the 911 call. I was young, I don't remember how young. But, I hid under the porch swing and called 911 because my grandparents tried to get me to eat a hot dog
Edit: I was very young. No older than 5 and a half or 6 at the most.
Edit: I was very young. No older than 5 and a half or 6 at the most.
13points
#17
Not a dispatcher, but in 2018 KFC in the UK had massive supply problems for a week or so and the police had to issue a public statement for people to stop calling them about it, as they'd been receiving so many. .
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13points
#18
We had someone call the other night because she saw lighting outside. During a rainstorm. Not close. Not a strike. Just cloud to cloud lighting. Through her window.
But that’s just the most recent one.
But that’s just the most recent one.
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13points
#20
I was a night dispatcher during my college years. I guy, obviously drunk (first red flag), called in crying so hard he was hyperventilating, blubbering so bad I couldn't understand him, but after a while I got him calmed down enough to get his story. He was driving on a dark highway (second red flag) and a UFO came blazing out of the sky and "tried to take me". He was begging for police protection. So, I sent an officer to his location and he was arrested for DUI. That officer was convinced enough of his story to request a unit be sent out Highway 183 to investigate. Sure enough, there was a disabled small aircraft on the highway.
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12points