"What Were Her Parents Thinking?": People Share The Most Hilariously Unfortunate Names People Gave Their Kids

I knew a pair of twin boys in elementary school named Freedom and Friendship.

Reality Winner.

There was a woman who used to cut my hair named Secretia….like secretion.

My wife is a teacher and she has siblings in class named Royalty and Majesty.

Tyranny. The mother thought she had made it up. Said it sounded pretty. I think she spelled it Tiranni.

There is a dude in the Air Force named Dearly Beloved. S**t you not.

I taught ESL in China. We had a little girl whose American name was Hamburger, and a pair of Twins named Copy and Paste. To be clear, they had normal Chinese names, but these American names also appeared on their passports. Their American names were chosen because their parents like how they sounded.

Dracula. The parents were young meth heads and thankfully the nurses said Drake sounds much better and it's a short version of Dracula after the boy was born.

Drake is alive and well, now 18 years old, parents quit the meth years ago, kinda still a messed up family.

Lice. Pronounced “lih-say.”

Latrina. Like...why?

A woman at my old bank was named Coral Reef. She seemed fine with it but what were her parents thinking.

There was a tv show a couple years ago and the midwife was desperately trying to convince the about-to-be parents to not name their child Syphilis.

KVIIITLYN. Kaitlyn

My mom used to work in a day care. One of the kids' was named Surprise Joyous Knight.
Yes, this is true, Mrs. Knight named her kid Surprise Joyous.

I went to gradeschool with siblings named America, Liberty, and Glory. As I'm sure anyone could guess—yes, I live in the Midwest.

Spatula.

Edit to add: this was told to me by an ex-brother-in-law, who worked in a hospital. He overheard a woman chasing her child down the hallway, saying "Spatula! I have two words for you: Be have!"

It was pronounced "bee hāve", as if behave were two words.

I once met a woman who named her sons Doral and Viceroy. I asked her, "like the cigarettes?" She said, "yes, those were my daddy's favorite smokes."

My uncle went to school with a Rusty Mustard.

Abcde…pronounced “ab-suh-dee.”

I was grading state tests in nyc and graded an 8th grader who’s name was Daddy Yankee.