“I Was A Witch”: 30 Hilariously Absurd Reasons Kids Ended Up In The Principal’s Office

For getting beat up.

I kid you not, the principle once told me that if I don't fight, I won't get in trouble. I let this kid bully me and punch me repeatedly in the face, just to avoid getting in trouble. I was still sent to the principal's office, and then told by him that I was in a fight so I'm getting suspended, even though I didn't fight. From his point of view, by getting punched in the face, I'm involved in the fight.

I never trusted authorities again after that.

"Refusing to deny the existance of negative numbers."

I can't recall the exact details of the assignment, as it was several decades ago, but I got into a shouting match with my 1st grade teacher over an assignment where we had to arrange numbers to make new equations. We hadn't been taught negative numbers officially, but my dad had taught me how the worked while I was in preschool. (Even as a tiny kid, i was still a huge nerd.) I kept arranging the equations to give both positive and negative results, but the teacher only wanted positive answers and got mad at me for "doing it wrong" but she couldn't explain a "right way" to do things that made any sense, just basically told me I was cheating. I got sent to the pricipals office, explained the situation, and he was like, "yeah, I don't know why she's not letting you submit those answers. If you want, you can hang out here and read until that assignement is over. I'll talk to her after class." He did, and the teacher apologized to me the next day.

That principal was a good dude, and part of the reason I eventually ended up getting a teaching degree. The teacher, not so much.

Oh 😡🙋🏼‍♀️.... Let me tell you why I got set to the principal's office in 7th grade...my shop teacher walked up to me and kissed my hand-then KISSED MY MOUTH. I slapped his face and he told me to go to the principal's office! This was in front of every single kid in that class!! The principal called my mom, I remember she was in that office within less than 10mins flat.Called that shop teacher down to the office and they told me to wait outside the office with the school secretary. I'm 50 years old and I can STILL hear my mother screaming/ripping them a new a*****e. I was moved to Home Ec Class. My mom made a police report-her boyfriend was a cop. Nothing else ever came of it. That teacher left the school at the end of the year.

In 6th grade, I cut a dime in half on a paper cutter, and was given a week of in school suspension for ‘making weapons’. The school was in DC, and the principal also called the secret service for ‘defacing money’. 
An agent actually showed up! He spoke to me for all of 30 seconds, basically saying I’d have been smarter to use it at an ice cream truck, and half a dime is no use to anyone. 

A science teacher who took a shine to me later told me that the agent spent half an hour with the principal, explaining that his call was stupid, an absolute waste of time, and not to do it again. Made that week in ISS go a little easier for me. .

Had a kid make a comment about my long hair and being a disgusting Indian. I turned and looked him dead in the eye and said Custer made a comment like that once. The teacher was trying so hard not to laugh but sent us both to the office.

For being a lesbian .
Got 3 days suspended too .

I was 7.


My mother went to the school and read them the riots act ,
I was back the following day.


( background story : me and my best friend had plan going to her grandads farm the weekend .
We often spend weekends in her house . Her dad was awesome . Her mom was a lovely lady .
So what really happened was she went to one of the cubicles to pee and I was washing my hands further down the toilet . We were talking about what to bring for the weekend, so I finished washing my hands and sat on the floor talking to her opposite to the cubicles, she had the door open as we often did chat away at her house .

The Math teacher walked in the bathroom and freaked out throw us both to the principal and home .
Thing is we didn’t even know why we were there.

My mom and her dad were summoned.

Oh the b******t .

My mother absolutely ate them alive .

(My mother was a lecturer she taught Sex and Psychology. )
So .. ye.

A kid in my 1st/2nd grade class said she was feeling sick and asked to go to the bathroom; the teacher lost her s**t and told her no after reading the riot act. The kid proceeded to vomit all over...everything, got sent out to the bathroom and eventually made her way to the principal's office once she stopped, erm, *dripping*. A hell of a bad day for a 7-year-old.

This was one of many awful things that teacher did to elementary school students who lacked the finesse and language skills to persuade their parents that she really, truly was the devil. My parents didn't believe me about her until I was in my 20s. Hers is the only axe I keep around for grinding.

If Miss Ehlert is still alive, I hope it's because her next of kin refuse to pull the plug despite terminal pain and suffering.

I got interested in the Salem witch trials when I was about 11, and as a fast reader who hyper-fixates, I had checked several books out of the library on the topic to read. I kept these books on my desk and carried them around while doing my research. One of the other kids in my class went crying to the principal that I was a witch, so I got called into the principal's office to explain my choice of reading. Thankfully the principal took one look at my books, saw that they were all non-fiction/history, and pretty much laughed me out of the office. (For context, this was the early 90s, so the Satanic panic was still going fairly strong.).

16 in highschool, vice principal dragged me to the office for literally holding my boyfriend's hand during lunch time. It was a public school, not even religious, and I had never heard a rule against hand holding in my life. She was making me late for class after lunch while she was calling my mum at work and I knew she was in for it lmao. My mother is a nightmare and did NOT appreciate being bothered at work and having me out of class for something she's seen me do 100 times with my long term boyfriend. VP got yelled at (my mum is very scary) and told never to call her at work again. I knew that's exactly what would happen lol and I hope the righteous teenage smirk I gave her walking out of that office still haunts her to this day.

Saying "gay people are not evil" at a Christian high school.

High School - eating an apple in the hallway before homeroom. the VP wanted me to throw it out and i refused because i didn't want to waste food. got detention. was released as soon as the busses left. had to find a ride home.

at lunch i found the worst looking, bruised, mushy apple i could find and brought it to detention with me. left it on her desk.

Monday morning suspended for partcipating in an impromptu school walk out about the dress code on a Friday. Was sent home.
Only I was at home with my dad and was ill on that Friday.

Dad's start hours were later, he had a written complaint letter from the principal's office as did all those who walked out and was reading it as I opened the door after being sent home.
He asked me about it. Blindsided, The walkout was news to me.

Wow! to hear the Principal's reaction on the phone with my dad dressing him down for externally suspended me without evidence would have been awesome.
On my end my dad was my hero.

My dad told me I could go back to school right after. Instead I got to stay home and watch TV until the siblings came home.
Next day I was called in to the office again, for an apology from the principal.
Until I graduated he never called me in his office again.
Dad remained my hero until he the day he died.

I once got sent to the principal's office for wearing mismatched socks. Apparently, it was a 'distraction.'

I'll always remember the time I took the Madagascar CD to school to exchange it for the Ice Age CD with a friend in 9th grade. The CDs didn't have covers, and when the principal caught us exchanging them, he assumed the worst and called our parents to school. But then, when the principal opened the CD on his desktop, it was playing Madagascar! My parents were annoyed for being called to school for no reason, and the principal had to apologize. This all happened in India, and it was quite an unforgettable experience!

I was sexually assaulted in the mudroom by grade 8 boys when I was in grade 6. When I told the principal, he admonished me for saying such horrible things about such nice boys.

I was an avid reader, and he told me to stop making up stories like the ones I read in books. He wanted me to take him to our school library (as if that’s the only library) and show him which book I got my story from. I gave up.

I switched schools two weeks later when I told my mom I wanted to die. But I didn’t tell her about the assault because I thought she’d do the same thing as my principal. I was a good kid, but my parents always took the teachers’ side because they were also teachers and I was a kid.

Having a low blood sugar in class. I know I know how dare me.

I was knocked unconscious by someone who felt that I didn’t deserve to be on the lacrosse team. After being checked out by the school nurse, I and my mother were told that I was being suspended even though “the other boy said that he did it completely and fully without provocation and he admitted as such”

Back in junior high one of my classmates passed out while sitting outside on the bench during lunchtime.

One of her friends stayed with her in the office till the other girls mom came to get her, so the friend was 10-15 minutes late to class.

Teacher asked her why she was late and she told her what happened.

I'll never forget that old bat's response:" Why? You're not her mother"

Running to a trusted teacher's room when a girl was chasing me with a freaking shiv. wtf, he literally said, well, you should've gone to the gym coach (it happened in the locker room after pe). I asked him what the hell did he think I was going to do, stop and consider who to go to first? I was about to be stabbed, you idiot. I actually said those exact words, this memory is so strong it's like it happened yesterday. He just stood there slack jawed and then, without saying anything else, said "Ok, go back to class." What a dimwit.

Spent all of lunch recess in the bathroom because I had a nasty bout of diarrhea.

Was told I should have asked permission before going back inside first.

He later apologized.