People usually value their relationships with family a lot, in addition to understanding the importance of nurturing children and not letting them suffer for the misdeeds of the people around them. However, putting these two factors together, we get a very sensitive combination, which, on the one hand, brings out all the best feelings and empathy in us, but on the other hand, often gets used against us, trying to manipulate the emotions and instincts of caring for a family, especially children. This 21 Y.O. professional babysitter refused to put up with such attempts by a relative to lowball her after the fact, so she dropped the child off at another relative’s place.
More info: Reddit
This woman gets lied about pay for babysitting, so drops the child off at another relative's place
Image credits: Stephen Fulljames (not the actual photo)
21 Y.O. professional babysitter agrees to lower the price to $150 only to get lowballed to $50-80
Image credits: Positive-Ad384
Image credits: Photy .org (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Positive-Ad384
Despite agreeing on the payment upfront, the woman gets messaged about the pay change 2 hours in with the child
Image credits: mel0808johnson (not the actual photo)
The woman refuses to lower the agreed price as babysitting is how she makes a living
Relatives and people who are close tend to ask for favors from each other and in many situations, we are happy to help. However, sometimes we know that “because of the family” is only used as a cover for manipulation, using others for one’s benefit. And there might be different reasons why someone chooses to do so. However, one of the reasons might be not taking certain activities seriously, despite the fact that these activities might be taking a lot of the other person’s time. And babysitting might just be one example of an activity that takes time and effort but is still not appreciated enough by some people.
Even though this skill happens to be widely used among people who have kids, making a living and being a professional in childcare might come with specific challenges, as this woman’s experience suggests. In this area, personal and professional relationships tend to get mixed together for the parent’s but not the caregiver’s benefit. This 21 Y.O. woman explains her situation, finishing her studies in early childhood education and earning a living as a professional babysitter who is good at what she does and is well known in her area.
Already foreseeing the possible challenges of separating personal and professional relationships, this woman normally does not babysit for her family. However, she shares that she made an exception for this one relative’s family. And this wasn’t the only exception she made for them, as she agreed to lower the price from $200 a day to $150. However, the babysitter’s efforts weren’t enough and the child’s mother wasn’t planning to play it fair, as she only texted the babysitter about her decision, or in her own words, “her ability” to only pay $50-80, when the babysitter was 2 hours in with her child, and added that she hoped the woman “would understand,” to which the babysitter immediately answered that she did not understand.
The sad fact of trying to manipulate a sensitive situation when an innocent child was involved came to light, as the child’s mother waited until the babysitter was 2 hours into work to “inform” her she was not planning to pay the agreed price. Of course, the mature person’s reaction in such situations would be to try to protect the child so he did not suffer for his parent’s mistakes. And the child’s mother tried accusing this woman of just that - calling her selfish and unprofessional - when she eventually dropped the child off with another relative’s sister.
The babysitter warns the mother she would drop the child off at another relative's but her messages get ignored
Image credits: Kampus Production (not the actual photo)
The babysitter drops the child off only to be texted by the child's mother a few minutes later, calling her selfish and unprofessional
While it might be argued, what was the best way to respond to the mother’s manipulation, the commenters on Reddit noted that the babysitter obviously didn’t just abandon a child, but rather took him to a safe place and informed the parent immediately. However, it might be agreed that, contrary to the child’s mother’s accusation, it was the mother who put the child into this situation, using him as a means to her end, manipulating and getting free services from people. By putting the child in between, the mother was the one being selfish and by refusing to pay the agreed price, she was being unprofessional and simply unfair “to her own family”. The child’s mother can be said to have thrown stones in her own garden when messaging the accusations to the babysitter.
In their study “Navigating babysitting as liminal, gendered, and undervalued work”, R. Easterbrook, R. Raby, and W. Lehmann, during in-depth interviews with 16 babysitters, notice that babysitting is a skilled job and the majority of babysitters undertake formal and informal training. Unfortunately, despite the efforts to thoughtfully negotiate the pay, they are sometimes faced with challenges doing so.
It was noted by Besen-Cassino that low wages and unpaid responsibilities were part of the babysitting experience. He studied the relation between getting the babysitter’s position through informal networks and extended family and difficult work conditions. As babysitters were often seen as doing the job out of their love for children, this ironically was used to justify lower wages.
Redditors were united in backing the babysitter and calling the whole "because family!" excuse, in this case, an obvious cloak for taking advantage
