I think that we can all agree that dogs are the superior pets (don't tell that to our cat overlords, though!). Besides being the cuddliest, most loving animals ever, they also brighten our days with their kooky antics and give us artistic inspiration with their snotty-nose-drawn pieces on house and car windows. Dog-cassos, if you will. Because of these unmistakable dog-ish traits - like cuteness, bizarre tail chases, and unfathomable smarts - pups are also a great material for jokes. So, this is our article dedicated solely to dog jokes, and one thing we can promise - it will brighten up your day tremendously!
In this article, among the plethora of hilarious animal jokes, you might expect to find: corny puns, only the best one-liners, silly wordplays, and cute jokes. So, we're drawing to a conclusion here - the dog jokes are as diverse as the pups themselves, and without any doubt, only the goodest! How else would we talk about man's best friend if not in the words that are of the greatest quality and the most magical entertainment value? After all, dogs do deserve everything that's best, even when talking about silly jokes.
You know exactly what to do here - scroll just a bit further down to reveal our collection of these cute jokes. Some of them will leave you howling with laughter; others might even get added to your own personal collection of the best jokes that you've ever seen. Don't forget to vote for those! Finally, after all that is well and done, share this article with anyone in need of comedic relief!
#1
What do you call a dog magician?
A labracadabrador.
A labracadabrador.
unknown
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#2
"My dog was my soul mate; we both took naps, we both skipped lunch, we both hated the vacuum..."
Elayne Boosler
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#3
What do you get when you cross a dog and a calculator?
A friend you can count on.
A friend you can count on.
unknown
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#4
Why are Dalmatians not considered good at playing hide and seek?
Because they are always spotted.
Because they are always spotted.
unknown
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#5
Our dog brings us the newspaper every day… Funny thing is, we’ve never subscribed to any.
unknown
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#6
"We’ve begun to long for the pitter-patter of little feet, so we bought a dog. It’s cheaper, and you get more feet."
Rita Rudner
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#7
What breed of dog can jump higher than a building?
All breeds can, since buildings can’t jump.
All breeds can, since buildings can’t jump.
unknown
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#8
What do you call a large dog that meditates?
Aware wolf.
Aware wolf.
unknown
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#9
A dog goes into a bar and orders a martini. The bartender says, "You don't see a dog in here drinking a martini very often." The dog says, "At these prices, I'm not surprised."
unknown
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#10
When my friend’s dog died, I bought an identical one to try to cheer them up... But it just made them more upset. Do you know what my friend said when I gave the dog to them?
“What am I supposed to do with two dead dogs?!”
“What am I supposed to do with two dead dogs?!”
unknown
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#11
"A Canadian psychologist is selling a video that teaches you how to test your dog's IQ. Here’s how it works: if you spend $12.99 for the video, your dog is smarter than you."
Jay Leno
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#12
When a dog has a fever, what should you feed him?
Mustard — it’s the best thing for hot dogs.
Mustard — it’s the best thing for hot dogs.
unknown
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#13
Why did the dog resign from his job?
The work was too ruff.
The work was too ruff.
unknown
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#14
Two dog owners are arguing about whose pet is smarter. “My dog is so smart,” says the first owner, “that every morning he goes to the store and buys me a sesame seed bagel with chive cream cheese, stops off at Starbucks and picks me up a mocha latte, and then comes home and turns on ESPN, all before I get out of bed.” “I know,” says the second owner. “How do you know?” the first demands. “My dog told me.”
unknown
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#15
What do you call a frozen dog?
A pupsicle.
A pupsicle.
unknown
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#16
A Dachshund walks into a telegraph office, picks up a blank form, and writes: "Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof."
The clerk looks over the paper for a minute before telling the dog, "You know, there are only nine words here. You could add another 'Woof' for the same price."
The Dachshund shakes his head at the clerk in disbelief. "But that would make no sense at all."
The clerk looks over the paper for a minute before telling the dog, "You know, there are only nine words here. You could add another 'Woof' for the same price."
The Dachshund shakes his head at the clerk in disbelief. "But that would make no sense at all."
unknown
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#17
Why did the man living in Alaska name his dog Frost?
Because Frost bites.
Because Frost bites.
unknown
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#18
When you cross a dog with a cougar, what do you get?
A lot of trouble with a postman.
A lot of trouble with a postman.
unknown
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#19
What kinds of outdoor markets do dogs despise?
Flea markets.
Flea markets.
unknown
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#20
What happens when a dog loses its tail?
It goes to a retail store to buy a new one.
It goes to a retail store to buy a new one.
unknown
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