People Use This Online Group To Ask "Does Anybody Else" Questions, And Here Are 50 Of The Best Ones

To learn more about what’s going through our minds when we feel different and alone in our thoughts, we reached out to Joshua Klapow, Ph.D., a psychologist and creator of Mental Drive. He started this well-being initiative to help people live healthier, more fulfilled, and successful lives by teaching them about psychological tools they can use every day. According to him, every single one of us holds beliefs we see as unique to us, and the same is true for behaviors we believe are strange, odd, or quirky.

Klapow pointed out this happens because of our ability to have a wide range of thoughts and yet at the same time, we understand that some of them are not appropriate or consistent with social norms. "This is the amazingly complex nature of being human," he told Bored Panda. "We have the ability to think in creative, abnormal, destructive, obscure, odd ways and yet also have the ability (most of the time) to not share those thoughts we believe are not appropriate or will be misunderstood."

In these situations, sharing our views may feel dangerous as we may expect to be laughed at or judged by others. But the psychologist also mentioned that while we tend to keep our odd thoughts to ourselves, knowing that it's not just us is fulfilling. "In fact, when perchance we share or discover that someone else has had similar thoughts, beliefs, and/or odd behaviors, we often feel incredibly validated."

We also managed to get in touch with Dr. Jesse Matthews, a licensed clinical psychologist based in Chester Springs, PA, who agrees with this line of thinking. "Most people probably overestimate how different they are," he explained. "If we consider being original to be cool or better, we may have a bias toward seeing ourselves this way. Confirmation bias may lead us to pay attention to what fits our view of ourselves while overlooking or ignoring what doesn’t. But in the context of the world, past to present, chances are whatever weird thought you’ve had or unique viewpoint you hold, someone else has too."

Still, most people have a desire to feel one-of-a-kind. "This can start from as early as birth if we grow up being told how different and special we are," he argued. "In a literal sense, we are all unique, even in a world of nearly 8 billion people," Matthews added that uniqueness is considered positive in many cultures and can be a great source of self-esteem. "As such, being different or seeing ourselves as not following the crowd can be considered cool, better, being a leader, and it can become a large part of our identity.”

"However, we are all born and raised in a cultural context and conditioned in the same ways, so there are probably more similarities. Even across cultures, human beings have been found to be similar in many ways."

Interestingly, recognizing that you share similar views with others is helpful in several respects. See, many people Matthews has worked with cherish feeling different but also report that it can be isolating. "Knowing you aren’t alone is powerful, particularly if depressed or lonely, and it can give you hope that you just need to find your people."

"This often happens when people go off to college, travel, or leave a small town for the city. They often find friends they never thought they would, people to date, or even whole communities of like-minded people," he said, adding this also applies to the online world as well.

"We are social beings, and the connection we have with others is what keeps us thriving. So to connect on deeply personal thoughts, intimate behaviors, and things we might keep very close gives us a way to connect to a larger social network and this is critical for our psychological well-being," psychologist Klapow said.

"It’s validating and gives us a sense of security to know others experience what we experience and do what we do. But it’s also validating sometimes just to know others know what we are thinking and experiencing and they respect and care about us even if they don’t hold the same views."

Of course, we should still strive to become knowledgeable, rounded, and well-informed human beings. "We shouldn’t fall into the trap of thinking that we can or should only associate with like-minded people," Matthews added. "Often, this isn’t possible or realistic, but it’s also a rigid mindset that can rob us of opportunities to get to know, appreciate, or understand people who we see as different."

"Many people even hold a dichotomy that people like them are good, and those not viewed as like them are bad. This doesn’t apply only to things like racism, but everything from politics to where you live to what kind of music you are into. It’s nice for any of us to find like-minded people. We just want to be careful not to believe that they are the only people who hold value," Matthews suggested.

Moreover, participating in discussions you care deeply about online or in real life can spark new ideas and even change your perspectives. Aside from that, it can even help us create validating emotional connections, Klapow said. "Once that happens, we have a level of trust that we might not otherwise have. And with that trust, we are safe to explore new ideas, new thoughts, new ways of seeing the world."