Nailing the marriage game is hard, no doubt about it. About 9% of 30-year-olds have already ended one marriage, reports Business Insider. The national divorce rate in 2018 was 2.9 per 1,000 of the US population, which may not look so bad until you see that the marriage rate was 6.5 per 1,000. To put it simply, there’s a not-so-tiny chance it won’t work out for a large part of newlyweds.
And people on Reddit decided to find out what it is that pushes people over the brink in marriage. Two threads initiated by redditors u/dankph and u/KlyonneSpencer popped up asking divorce lawyers about the most ridiculous and outrageous reasons that their clients filed for divorce. And oh boy, you can't tell us you saw this coming. From literally crappy reasons to simply being too good-looking, these excuses will make you wonder what the heck these love birds were thinking.
#1
I had two couples come to me.
They had been friends for nigh on 15 years.
Husband A decided he liked Wife B more than Wife A. Wife A decided she likes Husband B more than Husband A.
The reverse was also true, and Husband B preferred Wife A, Wife B preferred Husband A.
The couples had near identical assets in terms of value. They came to me all together, and I drafted two sets of paperwork. Two default judgment hearings were set on the same day. The judge signed all the papers the same day.
A week after that, they all went to a JP and remarried. The husbands swapped houses and they all went about their lives exactly as they had the week before, but each slightly happier.
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237points
#2
My cousin divorced his wife because, after his wife's father murdered two people in a robbery-gone-wrong, she defended him and harassed the victim's family over Facebook
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197points
#3
My client was the outrageous one, so my heart went out to his poor wife. He had OCD which manifested primarily financially, so he made their lives a penny-pinching hell. Examples: he was obsessed with avoiding unnecessary driving (wear and tear on the car, gas expenses), so he cut the whole family’s hair at home and never let them eat at a restaurant or go to the movies. Weirdest of all: he kept one toilet paper roll on him at all times and you had to get one square from him before you could go to the bathroom. He never gave more than one square. Wife finally got fed up and left him when 1) he gave her bangs during an in-home haircut and 2) their daughter was so traumatized by the toilet paper thing they couldn’t potty train her.
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175points
Bored Panda contacted Evan D. Schein, a partner and head litigator at Berkman Bottger Newman & Schein LLP law firm based in Manhattan, New York to find out more about why people do get divorced. Evan has litigated matrimonial matters in the Supreme and Family Courts of Manhattan, Kings, Queens, Nassau, and more.
Evan told us that throughout his career as a family law attorney, he has seen many different reasons people decide to end their marriage. “I have an inside look into all the reasons people get divorced—affairs, financial infidelity, lack of communication, growing apart, lack of connection; to name a few.”
However, one particular reason still haunts him. “Out of all the reasons I have heard, a grudge years later over the wedding table seating chart still stands out for me,” he said.
#4
I do my student practice at my family's law firm. Young woman filed for a divorce because her husband drank ONE beer during weekdays after a day of work. The guy wasn't violent, doing drugs, or anything like that. He was just a normal, polite guy who liked to have a cold one after 10 hr shift. They are very good couple and argue so rarely that this woman's friends told her to write down everything he did to upset her and re-read it every day, so she had reasons to be angry about.
My mom (lawyer) set the woman straight, told her he' just doing what all guys do and to find herself new friends instead of ones ready to sabotage their marriage.
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175points
#5
Divorced guy here. I divorced my ex-wife because she decided to be a ‘Super Christian’ that spent hours each day lying on the floor speaking in tongues. Also she would have random conversations with former deceased relatives while doing mundane daily activities. The final straw was when I came home from work and my 2 yr old daughter was in the fireplace eating ashes two feet away from her while she laid on the ground chanting and speaking in her made up language.
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175points
#6
He got drunk at the wedding, she did not like it, and decided to divorce him right after the Honeymoon (which she went to without him).
Moreover, this was all an elaborate scheme of divorce-robbery, because the guy was loaded, and so was his entire family....
They were loaded because they were a family of EXCELLENT lawyers, and he was a third generation lawyer, with all the smarts and experience of his predecessors combined.
Lets just say it did not go well for her.
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174points
These days, as we’re living in a time of crisis and isolation, everyone is experiencing tremendous stress. “There is so much unknown and uncertainty” that Evan is convinced that “this reality and these feelings will have a profound effect on marriages and relationships.”
The head litigator said, “I fully expect there will be a large increase in divorce filings.” And for those individuals who were already contemplating the idea of divorce and on the fence, “the current situation and this new way of life may very well push them in the divorce direction,” Evan explained.
#7
I knew a couple who got divorced after the wife walked in on her husband who was rubbing poop from their baby's diaper all over his body...
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173points
#8
Paralegal. A couple got divorced over a cat. Wife called cat Snowball because of white fur and only wanted the cat to eat wet food or chicken breast. Husband called cat Lily again because of white fur and believed it should only eat dry food. These two argued for a year over custody of the cat but did not give a s**t about their human kids aged 15 months, 4 years, and 6 years old.
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162points
#9
One of my coworkers has been married seven times. One time she divorced a guy because he was 'too good-looking' and she couldn't trust him. Another time she divorced a man because he came home with the wrong brand of hotdogs that she told him to buy. I wish I was making this up
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155points
#10
I knew someone who broke off an engagement because her fiancé kept pulling pranks on her, like buying fake lottery tickets and stuff. In her eyes, he was humiliating her in front of friends and family. It was almost like he was running social experiments on her to see how she'd react
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153points
#12
My douche cousin told his wife she had three chances to give him a son. Daughter was born first. Strike one. Son was born second. Then they find out the boy cant eat gluten. So my cousin divorced her and has made zero effort to see his kids.
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145points
#13
Friend of mine divorced his then wife because she would only speak French when her family would come over. She was Spanish, as was her family...
To add, her family spoke English, French and Spanish, he could only speak Spanish and English, she got bored of being married to him, her family basically talked s**t about him whilst he was there, was only when he recorded a conversation whilst they where there and got it translated he found out what was going on.
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139points
#14
My client divorced her husband because he insisted on bringing his mother on their honeymoon. The reason? Because his mother was STILL breastfeeding him. Yes, the husband, a grown man, was still breastfeeding
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136points
#15
Colleague handled a case where money was not an issue but the kids were. Neither parent wanted them
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131points
#16
I worked as a paralegal for a divorce lawyer. Case analysis was one of my main responsibilities.
I s**t you not.
A recently married couple (of 2 years) broke it off because the husband would not stop feeding the dog. The dog got outrageously fat.
Apparently she saw connection between the dog and future children.
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129points
#17
One of our consults came in because his wife had been proposed to by one of those online scam people posing as the Prince of Turkey or something. She fell for it and was going to give him $45,000 and move to Turkey to marry him
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123points
#18
Not a divorce lawyer, but got out of my first marriage becuase shortly after we got married he decided he didn't like the way I talked, and asked me not to talk when we were out in company unless I "could talk straight."
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123points
#19
I knew someone who got divorced the same day they got married. The groom was dancing with his sister at the reception, and the bride asked to cut in. His sister tried to punch her in the face but missed and punched the bride’s sister. All hell broke loose. The night ended with the bride asking the groom to choose between her or his sisters. He chose his sisters
119points
#20
Paralegal here.
Still remember an early case i worked on, man divorced his wife for her Bingo Addiction. 10 to 12 times per week she went to bingo. She was 82 he was 86.
But the all time greatest. two 20 somethings, they were irreconcilable because he kept smoking her weed stash when she wasnt home.
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110points