Lawyers Share 30 Petty And Intense Stories Of People Destroying Each Other During Divorce

According to the Institute for Family Studies, the divorce rate in America has been falling fast in recent years, hitting a record low in 2019. It seems that for every 1,000 marriages, only 14.9 ended in divorce: “This is the lowest rate we have seen in 50 years.”

Since more people are staying together, marriages are getting longer. The researchers found that the average duration of current marriages in the U.S. “has increased almost one year in the recent decade, from 19 years in 2010 to 19.8 years in 2019.”

Even though there are headlines blaring that COVID-19 has had a huge toll on people’s relationships, the drop in the divorce rate is likely to continue. In fact, research shows that the pandemic has actually brought some couples closer to each other. 

Data from the American Family Survey reveals that a majority of wedded Americans say that “the pandemic has made them appreciate their spouse more and half agree that their commitment to marriage has deepened.” 

However, while some choose to stay in a marriage for the long haul, others decide that splitting up is the healthier alternative. Maybe your partner left you for another person. Perhaps your relationship is not what you thought it would be. Or maybe your partnership has been in dire straits for years, but only now reached the end of the road. 

There can be endless reasons why a marriage fails, but there’s no denying that it hurts. This can lead to at least one partner, or maybe even both, acting completely irrational and engaging in petty behaviors. And even though it’s tempting to take cheap shots at your ex, it can come back to bite you in the future.

Katie Crow, family law and divorce attorney, wrote that during the time of your divorce, every single thing you do is in the spotlight. “Emotions are running wild, and both of you are completely hurt and vulnerable, and it is important to try and keep a level head during the divorce.” 

It’s no secret that divorces can be emotionally and financially difficult, but you have to stay calm and see your actions from different perspectives. Even seemingly small or innocent deeds can get twisted in the eyes of your partner, leading to a huge and long argument for everyone to see. 

“Don’t fool yourself by saying ‘they would never say that about me’ or ‘they would never do that to me’ because I have seen too many people get hurt under that false assumption,” she said. “Divorce can bring out a completely different breed of character from the person you thought you have known for years. It may even bring out a new side in yourself that could get you into trouble.”

Crow recommends monitoring your actions and behavior to make sure that your feelings do not get the better of you. She provides a couple of examples: “Bad-mouthing your ex to your kids, getting a DUI, and having promiscuous relationships.” Acting out at the moment can end up hurting you in the long run. Not to mention that it can even cause bigger issues outside of your divorce.  

Plus, you need to stay levelheaded not only because of your own actions but also to notice the possible traps set up to provoke you by your ex. “You may be the best parent in the world and have written a top-selling parenting book, but it only takes one wrong move to disintegrate your parental reputation.” 

“So it is best to play it safe and know that your life will soon find a “new normal”, but now is the time to just get through your divorce with your head held high,” Crow suggested.