Social IssuesJAN 21, 2022

Lawyers Share 30 Petty And Intense Stories Of People Destroying Each Other During Divorce

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Let’s face it, marriage is hard work and there are always bumps along the way. Sometimes, a couple knows that their issues are too big to overcome and decides that a permanent split is the best move for both of them. But if there’s one thing we know about divorce—it can get really messy.

So it’s no surprise that when user DarkFander14 asked divorce lawyers to share the most insane ways spouses have tried to screw each other over, they rolled up their sleeves. More than 12.6K comments flooded in, anonymously revealing the pettiest and wildest things partners did to mess with or take advantage of one another.

From trying to get half of the house just to demolish it to spending $100,000 fighting over an ashtray, Bored Panda has collected the cream of the crop from this viral thread. Continue scrolling, judge them for yourself, and be sure to leave a comment with your thoughts!

#1

Lawyers Share 30 Petty And Intense Stories Of People Destroying Each Other During Divorce

This one hits close to home because it happened between my parents. We had a family “friend” who was a lawyer and my parents agreed that he would be the lawyer for both of them as a mediator. So, as the assets were being divided my dad got absolutely slammed. She was going to get the house, cars, half his retirement, and an insane amount of alimony. To the tune of like $2,500 a month for the rest of her life. My dad has a good job as a municipal employee, but that was probably 70%ish of his paycheck.

Turns out that my mom and the “family friend” actually conspired to rip my dad off and make it seem like that’s what a divorce settlement looks like. And she was going kick back more money under the table after the dust had settled. Dad just didn’t know how these things worked. So, after some convincing he finally went out and got his own lawyer. He got a very fair divorce settlement after that.

Mom still to this day can’t understand why we don’t talk to her much.

wowitsclayton, cottonbro

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275points

#2

I read about a case where the wife was trying to take half of a guys business and millions in personal assets, only to find out that the business had been moved into his sons name years earlier, and the guy donated all their savings, millions of dollars, to a childrens hospital in his soon to be ex-wife's name so she couldn't get the money.

The judge said what he did was technically legal since it was community property and no freeze had been placed on it yet, but was morally unconscionable. Lawyer said in his entire life he never saw a bigger smile on a mans face. He just kept saying "I just wanted to help the children" and smiling.

McFeely_Smackup, EKATERINA BOLOVTS

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240points

According to the Institute for Family Studies, the divorce rate in America has been falling fast in recent years, hitting a record low in 2019. It seems that for every 1,000 marriages, only 14.9 ended in divorce: “This is the lowest rate we have seen in 50 years.”

Since more people are staying together, marriages are getting longer. The researchers found that the average duration of current marriages in the U.S. “has increased almost one year in the recent decade, from 19 years in 2010 to 19.8 years in 2019.”

Even though there are headlines blaring that COVID-19 has had a huge toll on people’s relationships, the drop in the divorce rate is likely to continue. In fact, research shows that the pandemic has actually brought some couples closer to each other.

#3

My parents got divorced, and my mom didn't want my dad to show up in court and contest. So she called me and told me to put laxatives in his food so he wouldn't make it. I didn't, and she still hates me for it.

Tittybean24, Lisa Fotios

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233points

#4

I once had a boss whose wife grabbed all the belongings from the house she felt entitled to while her husband was gone. Well, when he returned, every knob and handle was gone, too — doorknobs, cabinet handles, drawer handles, anything used to open something. And every day for the next week, he would occasionally yell out, 'SHE TOOK THE F**KING KNOBS!'

JortsEnthusiast69, eelias

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220points

Data from the American Family Survey reveals that a majority of wedded Americans say that “the pandemic has made them appreciate their spouse more and half agree that their commitment to marriage has deepened.”

However, while some choose to stay in a marriage for the long haul, others decide that splitting up is the healthier alternative. Maybe your partner left you for another person. Perhaps your relationship is not what you thought it would be. Or maybe your partnership has been in dire straits for years, but only now reached the end of the road.

There can be endless reasons why a marriage fails, but there’s no denying that it hurts. This can lead to at least one partner, or maybe even both, acting completely irrational and engaging in petty behaviors. And even though it’s tempting to take cheap shots at your ex, it can come back to bite you in the future.

#5

Watched a 14 million dollar settlement, which took months to achieve, abandoned when the parties came to who would keep the cat. For that, there was a week long trial. Jurors wanted to euthanize them both and take the cat home themselves.

NAbsentia, Manja Vitolic

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193points

#6

Had a client whose wife wanted him out of the house. I told him not to leave, just move to a different bedroom for the time being because once he was out the chances of him ever getting back in were slim.

He texted his wife and told her he was staying in the house. She called back and left a VM that she wanted him out and if he wasn't out soon, she would start taking out her unhappiness on the children, and would remind the children that mommy was being mean to them because daddy wouldn't leave.

Armada5, cottonbro

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191points

Katie Crow, family law and divorce attorney, wrote that during the time of your divorce, every single thing you do is in the spotlight. “Emotions are running wild, and both of you are completely hurt and vulnerable, and it is important to try and keep a level head during the divorce.”

It’s no secret that divorces can be emotionally and financially difficult, but you have to stay calm and see your actions from different perspectives. Even seemingly small or innocent deeds can get twisted in the eyes of your partner, leading to a huge and long argument for everyone to see.

#7

I work for a divorce attorney, and the craziest divorce I saw was when the husband — who had left the home — returned while his wife was at work to not only remove his clothing and belongings, but to Gorilla glue her things together! He glued the TV remote to the table, the phone to its cradle, the couch pillows to the couch, and he even glued the vacuum cleaner to the carpet. She called the police to report property damage, and for days afterward, she continued discovering random things glued together, including her oven mitts, which were glued to the wall, and all of her sheets in the linen closet, which were glued together.

MaxWyfe, Mike Mozart

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187points

#8

I read about a top executive at a Fortune 500 company who was caught in a nasty divorce. He was set up for life with a bunch of stock, houses, and assets in many places, and the wife wanted everything she could possible get. Well, the husband proposed that if his wife let him keep everything, he'd give her half of his paycheck for the rest of his life... She quickly agreed because his checks were huge, and he received millions of dollars in bonuses. Well, as soon as the paperwork was finalized, he quit his job and started to work part-time at a sporting goods store! He would still drive to work in his expensive car and was still set for life. But every Friday, he loved knowing that his ex-wife would only be getting about $150 per check.

Imaregularguy, Northwest Retail

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178points

#9

Used to work as a file clerk for a divorce attorney. Our client was trying to get full custody over her child because her husband was “dangerously neglectful of their son”. How was he being dangerously neglectful?

By serving spaghetti (instead of turkey) for thanksgiving. I wish I was making this up

marierosa, Dana Tentis

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176points

“Don’t fool yourself by saying ‘they would never say that about me’ or ‘they would never do that to me’ because I have seen too many people get hurt under that false assumption,” she said. “Divorce can bring out a completely different breed of character from the person you thought you have known for years. It may even bring out a new side in yourself that could get you into trouble.”

Crow recommends monitoring your actions and behavior to make sure that your feelings do not get the better of you. She provides a couple of examples: “Bad-mouthing your ex to your kids, getting a DUI, and having promiscuous relationships.” Acting out at the moment can end up hurting you in the long run. Not to mention that it can even cause bigger issues outside of your divorce.

#10

The couple was divorcing on mutual terms, and the wife had one child with this husband and one from a previous marriage. Well, the husband agreed to pay child support for both children even though he wasn't obligated to... The judge signed the order, they set up the child support account, and it got kicked back, saying they couldn't have two accounts for the same child. Well, it turns out, the wife had been collecting child support from the biological father the entire time they were married, and she never told her husband! So, she basically tried to milk two fathers for one child!

DikuToy, Michał Parzuchowski

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165points

#11

I represented a guy who was on his second marriage. His first wife had passed away from cancer. Well, while divorcing his second wife, he met a very kind, affectionate woman, they hit it off, and they became basically engaged...

Well, the fiancé was later diagnosed with terminal cancer, and when the wife found out, she accused him — in court — of killing his first wife by 'giving' her cancer and trying to do the same thing to his fiancé! I wish I had an artist's rendering of the scene, capturing the crazy look in the wife's eyes, her attorney's look of shame and embarrassment, and the judge's look of plain confusion.

loungesinger, Trnava University

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149points

#12

Child of traumatic divorce here.

There’s so many and I mean SO many things I could post on this thread about how f**king terrible my parents were to each other, but this takes the cake.

My parents were separated, in the process of divorcing, and had split custody between my brother and I (we were 5 and 7 at the time). My dad didn’t have his own place yet so when it was his turn to be with us he came back to our house (the one he purchased mind you) and my mom was supposed to leave. One weekend they were arguing over something and it got so bad that my mom wouldn’t leave and told my dad she would call the police (something she apparently did a lot to get her way, which after growing up with her I can attest she did this a lot unnecessarily to control us). So she left, called the police, told them my father was dangerous and had a gun (my dad was in the army and we had plenty guns, locked in a safe of course).

Of course the police were just doing their job, and took my mom at face value. It went so fast from my brother and I watching tv with my dad to the police knocking at our door, my dad opening the door and getting pepper sprayed without the cops saying anything, and then my dad locked the door and the cops couldn’t bust it down, so they came around back and broke our sliding glass door in so they could arrest my dad in our front yard with all our neighbors watching. I didn’t really understand what was happening at the time but it was traumatizing for sure.

Then my mom tried to get full custody of us in their actual divorce, and thank god the judge ruled for split custody. My whole childhood was s**tty honestly bc all they did was explain very deep and emotionally complex situations to very young children who just wanted their parents to love each other.

But yeah, I’ve never quite forgiven my mom for that one.

waterbaby333, Tingey Injury Law Firm

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147points

Plus, you need to stay levelheaded not only because of your own actions but also to notice the possible traps set up to provoke you by your ex. “You may be the best parent in the world and have written a top-selling parenting book, but it only takes one wrong move to disintegrate your parental reputation.”

“So it is best to play it safe and know that your life will soon find a “new normal”, but now is the time to just get through your divorce with your head held high,” Crow suggested.

#13

My dad is a divorce attorney. His clients couldn't decide who would get the Labrador puppy's from a new litter they just breed. The pups are worth $1000 a pop. Well they also hadn't been up to date on their payments. So dad brought a litter of 8 floppy puppy's home as collateral for us to have until they could negotiate the settlement. So much fun for us kids

Rogue_Kat15, Berkay Gumustekin

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143points

#14

During my first year of law school, a divorce lawyer told us about a well-to-do couple that spent months and months and tens of thousands of dollars fighting over every single thing, all the way down to a single ceramic ashtray. Even after they'd decided on everything else, they spent an additional $100,000 fighting over this ashtray... Well, after a court hearing, the wife finally won the ashtray, and she promptly strode out to the white courthouse steps and smashed it, leaving the pieces for the husband to see on his way out.

105degrees_andrising, Alachua County

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140points

#15

My sister and her ex-husband had agreed in arbitration that he would keep the house and car and that she would keep the furniture and electronics.

My dad and I rented a Uhaul to help her go get her stuff. We figured the amount of stuff she would get would be enough to get about $10-15K off Craigslist.

We arrived at the house to find only an Ikea futon, a smaller TV than they had, an old iMac, and all the outdoor furniture destroyed. We were so devastated for her.

She decided she wanted to close that venomous chapter of her life so she just took her losses rather than fight for stupid possessions.

Happy ending... She finished optometry school and became an optometrist, found a great husband, and is raising two awesome kids.

MagicInOrlando, cottonbro

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138points

#16

The couple wanted everything split right down the middle, right down to the block of cheese in the fridge.

aprilalberta, Karolina Grabowska

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124points

#17

In the first divorce case I'd ever worked on, the husband waxed every single hair off his body to avoid a court-mandated drug test.

NegligentNeanderthal, No Revisions

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122points

#18

The husband gave his wife five of his nine companies — the ones that owed seven figures in payroll taxes. He had made her the bookkeeper on paper, and she spent decades trying to shake the IRS for the results.

Flintoid, Romain Dancre

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121points

#19

I was an assistant at a family law practice, and in one divorce case we had, the wife had started dating someone new who was severely allergic to cats. Well, her ex-husband bought a cat for their kids — knowing that he wasn't allowed to have pets in his apartment — so that his ex-wife would have to keep it at her house.

The wife called us, saying that the kids were distraught she didn't want to keep it, and that her ex-husband told the kids that if their mom loved them, she would keep the cat.

drlitt, Cats Coming

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114points

#20

Friend was going through divorce from insane husband. He had been texting her pics of the gun he bought and threatening her. Police were called. Nothing they could do because it was 'only a picture'. He was staying with a secret girlfriend at this point. She allowed him to go get his stuff from the house. She was scared to go back in the house alone. I went with her. First red flag was he had changed the locks. So we waited for locksmith to open the house and change the locks again. Well, when the door opens...we noticed all of the furniture was gone. So we carefully went upstairs in search of her cats. The entire second floor was empty. No cats. No furniture. Even her clothes were gone. Come to find out he hired a moving company to pack and take everything, even the food in the fridge. Finally found the cats. He had taken them to another vet in town and put them up for boarding under his sister's name thinking she would not be able to find them. He was finally forced to disclose what happened to her possessions. He had them taken to a storage unit far away from the home.

JillAustin, JOSHUA COLEMAN

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111points

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