55 Divorce Lawyers Share Dirty Secrets About Couples That Had No Business Being This Messy

Not a lawyer. But pretty much everyone in the parenting apart class required by my state. All total pieces of work.

I was a legal assistant and a woman opted to give everything in return for her husband’s mother’s china, which was beloved to him and his family. It went on forever and eventually he relented.

On the day the divorce decree was signed, she showed up and she broke every piece, put it in a box and mailed it to him.

Edited commas.

My mom let my dad keep the house, and in the chaos of everything did not prioritize getting her name off the mortgage. My dad foreclosed on the house just to spite her and her credit score. This foreclosure was on her credit from when I was 13-20, and I never knew it - we still did all our activities (dance and cheer is not cheap), went on a vacation every year, and had a clean and safe house in a nice neighborhood. My mom budgeted like a BOSS and paid for everything on a debit card! Brand new furniture, $1,500 dance team fees, I even got a car when I turned 16. We thrifted almost all of our clothes and hardly ever went out to eat, but I never felt the stress that she undoubtedly felt and carried by herself for that time. My mom rules!

Early in the marriage, parents adopted a child. Twelve years later during divorce proceedings, father filed petition the terminate his own custody and child support because his attorney found a defect in the final adoption order. Dad was able to dump his wife AND his kid.

EDIT: This was 20ish years ago in Virginia. I did not represent mom or dad. There was a procedural error in the adoption to such extent that the adoption was invalid - similar to a marriage void ab initio.

Not a lawyer, but worked for a bank many years ago. I had a client come in because there was no money in her account. Her future ex had taken everything out of all of their accounts. He remortgaged the house and drained their HELOC so that she had no access to any money. He cancelled her credit cards too. She had nothing. She was a stay at home mom and couldn’t buy food for her 2 and 8 year old. They were still living in the same house together, and he would bring food home for himself but nothing for anyone else.

Opposing counsel on one of my cases called my client “too emotional” during a hearing - after finally coming clean about years of domestic violence.

somebody actually went as far as planting some fake text messages on an old cellphone, putting it in the car of his wife and then calling the police on what was clearly a made-up story about domestic violence. the amount of effort that people put into breaking the law to have an advantage in a custody battle is ridiculous.

During my divorce mediation the ex made a big deal about wanting custody of LD the cat. I got the other dog & cat. He kept postponing pickup of LD. Months later he messages me about wanting a kitchen knife that was sentimental for him. I told him OK but the trade was for LD the cat. Deal.

I hope he finds comfort in his knife.

Dude who lived next door to me accepted a job on the opposite coast, moved his entire family, then resigned the new position as soon as they got there.

Then he turned around and found an apartment back in my town (which is how I know), moved back, and filed for divorce. When I asked him why he did that, he said that he didn't want them around and this was the cheapest way to get rid of them.

Divorce attorney for about 13 years, based outside Philly. Had a client who lived in Ohio, 8yo son living with mom in PA. He got diagnosed with pancreatic cancer (terminal of course, about 2 month timeline). Mother refused to let the kid visit dad one last time before he passed; wouldn't even let the kid's older half-siblings pick him up for a weekend visit. Took it to court to try to force mom's hand and the judge's response blew my mind even more than mom's obstinance. Per the judge, "Can't the kid just Facetime dad? I don't see what the big deal is with forcing mom to do something she doesn't want to do." Left that courtroom feeling like I got dragged through the liquid garbage pit in Star Wars. Dad passed a few weeks after the hearing without ever getting to say goodbye to his son and without his son getting any sense of closure. Don't think mom even let him have the Facetime call with dad. Can only hope that kid is doing alright and has gotten all the therapy.

Edit: Oh yeah almost forgot, at the time of the hearing, mom was awaiting sentencing for her 4th or 5th DUI in the past 5 years, but rich blonde white ladies apparently don't go to jail in Bucks Co so she got to skate with community service and probation somehow. If that kid is still alive and not in foster care, it would be a miracle.

2nd PS- For those wondering "what Dad did to lose custody," Dad had primary after Mom's 3rd DUI, which she actually did the mandatory minimum for. Custody judge transferred primary to Mom upon her release because Dad stopped taking the kid from Ohio to Pa to visit Mom in jail toward tail end of her sentence. Kid was getting freaked out by the visits because Mom was in full blown withdrawal psychosis, making insane promises about the future, totally age inappropriate conversations, etc.
By no means a men's rights activist attorney, but this was a good guy and both he and his son got stiffed by the system.

Opposing counsel on a case said she was dealing with another case where the wife stole all of her husband's left shoes.

My ex BIL asked not to fight and be friends. He told my sister who was a SAHM that the next weekend he would pick her and the boy up and get new tires for her car. He then called child services on my sister for driving the kids around in an unsafe car. It did not get better from there.

Couple divorced, woman got ~$100k as a lump sum. Fast forward to a year later, they're in mediation because she's got contempt motions against him for minor violations of the parenting agreement -- things like his being late to pick up the kids.

In mediation, she says she also wants child support because she's flat broke. I ask her what about the $100k. It all went to her team of divorce lawyers to fight over these contempt motions.

The whole time we were mediating, her three(!) lawyers were leaning over to her to say "You can't let (your ex) get away with this," and "(Your ex) is so disgusting." Winding her up and telling her the only way forward is to fight.

She could have had a soft landing, led a dignified life, and never seen the inside of the family court again. Her lawyers manipulated her into fighting over every little thing so they could convert her alimony into their alimony.

A spouse who didn't even like animals fighting tooth and nail for full custody of the family dog—not because they wanted the pet, but purely because they knew it was the other person's primary emotional support animal.

In the course of getting divorced, the now-ex-wife decided to have the family dog put down to get back at the kids, who preferred to live with dad.