The concept of “family secrets” tends to invoke the lives of the rich and powerful, like royals or the fictional Roy family from Succession. But the truth is that even the most mundane household is still perfectly capable of producing undisclosed, unpleasant stories.
Someone asked “What is a disturbing family secret you weren’t supposed to find out, but now wish you could forget?” and people shared their stories. Be warned, in case you didn’t realize it already, some of these are pretty dark. Otherwise, get comfortable as you scroll through, upvote your favorites and be sure to share your thoughts in the comments down below.
#1
Mother was caught breaking my arm when I was 2 by my paternal grandmother, she begged her not to tell my dad as it would "ruin our family" - I was sent to live with gran 3 days out of the week because mother didn't want me around, we were both happy with that arrangement.
My gran told me maybe 3 years ago and said it was the biggest regret of her life as it allowed mother to think she could continue abusing me and nobody would say a word. (She did, they didn't)
My gran is partly at fault but I have forgiven her and I love her a lot. She raised me, she protected me from many things, and I think I understand why she did it.
I've distanced myself away from the whole family at this point. Never felt any urge to hit or scream at my daughter ever in her 9 years on this earth. She's my world.
My gran told me maybe 3 years ago and said it was the biggest regret of her life as it allowed mother to think she could continue abusing me and nobody would say a word. (She did, they didn't)
My gran is partly at fault but I have forgiven her and I love her a lot. She raised me, she protected me from many things, and I think I understand why she did it.
I've distanced myself away from the whole family at this point. Never felt any urge to hit or scream at my daughter ever in her 9 years on this earth. She's my world.
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40points
#2
Disclaimer: not necessarily "disturbing." More of a "oh, yeah... I had a family member fight for the 'bad guys' in WW2."
Japanese grandfather. He was a very quiet and kind man who enjoyed nature and was a diplomat for Japan from 1950 all the way until 1995. He was a major advocate for peace and was as anti-war as one could get. He always took the time to stare at flowers when walking anywhere. When asked why, he simply said, "Because beauty in life is so fleeting that we tend to miss it."
When he passed away in 2008, his very old diary was found in worn out box of notebooks. What else was found was a very old photo of him when with a few guys from his army squad. This shocked everyone. He never told anyone that he fought in WW2. He only told his wife (grandmother) about it once and never spoke of it again.
Grandmother had to explain what was in the notebook and why the photo exists.
My grandfather did not want to be apart of WW2. All he wanted was to go to university and make a name for himself. However because Bushido code, he was forced to fight for Japan because "manhood and pride." He only served from 1944 to 1945. He was stationed mostly in Shanghai at the tail end of the war. He did not participate in the fighting or anything. All he did was guard supplies.
There were two stories in his diary about his time in the war:
1.) During the leaving of Shanghai, my grandfather lost a coin toss with his friends from his company for the first boat out. He sat on the docks as he saw the boat get destroyed by allied bombers. All of his friends and over half his company died. He lived because of a coin toss.
2.) His last mission ever. Find survivors (if any) after the bombing of Hiroshima. He wrote, "All we found was ash." He was forever haunted by that. He later wrote that because of Hiroshima, he started taking time to sit in nature and to just admire it.
Second disclaimer because Reddit historians tend to be racist a******s: just because someone fought for the bad guys did not mean they wanted to fight in the first place. Not every freaking IJA soldier for Japan were monsters like the ones in Manchuria and Nanking.
Japanese grandfather. He was a very quiet and kind man who enjoyed nature and was a diplomat for Japan from 1950 all the way until 1995. He was a major advocate for peace and was as anti-war as one could get. He always took the time to stare at flowers when walking anywhere. When asked why, he simply said, "Because beauty in life is so fleeting that we tend to miss it."
When he passed away in 2008, his very old diary was found in worn out box of notebooks. What else was found was a very old photo of him when with a few guys from his army squad. This shocked everyone. He never told anyone that he fought in WW2. He only told his wife (grandmother) about it once and never spoke of it again.
Grandmother had to explain what was in the notebook and why the photo exists.
My grandfather did not want to be apart of WW2. All he wanted was to go to university and make a name for himself. However because Bushido code, he was forced to fight for Japan because "manhood and pride." He only served from 1944 to 1945. He was stationed mostly in Shanghai at the tail end of the war. He did not participate in the fighting or anything. All he did was guard supplies.
There were two stories in his diary about his time in the war:
1.) During the leaving of Shanghai, my grandfather lost a coin toss with his friends from his company for the first boat out. He sat on the docks as he saw the boat get destroyed by allied bombers. All of his friends and over half his company died. He lived because of a coin toss.
2.) His last mission ever. Find survivors (if any) after the bombing of Hiroshima. He wrote, "All we found was ash." He was forever haunted by that. He later wrote that because of Hiroshima, he started taking time to sit in nature and to just admire it.
Second disclaimer because Reddit historians tend to be racist a******s: just because someone fought for the bad guys did not mean they wanted to fight in the first place. Not every freaking IJA soldier for Japan were monsters like the ones in Manchuria and Nanking.
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35points
#3
My cousin tried to sell his sister’s body against her will to a d**g d****r in exchange for c*ke. He gave them a time when she would be home alone and let them in on his way out. She managed to escape out of a window before anything happened.
That’s the real reason she had to go live with our grandparents. Not the “they lived in a better school district” lie we were told.
That’s the real reason she had to go live with our grandparents. Not the “they lived in a better school district” lie we were told.
32points
#4
My mother had a stillborn in the mid 70s. They loved in a tiny apartment in the Bronx back then, and already had a small boy to care for. They couldn't afford a funeral. Fast forward about 10 years, they have now moved to the suburbs, had another kid, and had a relative (my grandfather) pass away. A few days after the funeral my father took my brother to the cemetery in the middle of the night. My brother was only about 10, and didn't understand til years later what my dad was talking about, but the gist was that we could start using the freezer in the basement, the one he was told was off limits. Then he told him to say a prayer for his little brother, and they buried a tiny box next to my grandpa's grave.
28points
#5
My mother was recently diagnosed with late stage cancer.
During one chemo session while on the bed she teared up and told me that I was the product of r**e, and that she was forced to marry the r*pist (my dad).
I am from a poor Asian country and this is not unheard of in our community.
I was still destroyed for a good month before I learnt to accept that I had not control over this and to make some peace with it.
During one chemo session while on the bed she teared up and told me that I was the product of r**e, and that she was forced to marry the r*pist (my dad).
I am from a poor Asian country and this is not unheard of in our community.
I was still destroyed for a good month before I learnt to accept that I had not control over this and to make some peace with it.
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28points
#6
My (adoptive) dad died last year, and I found the paperwork from when he filed for emergency custody of me (he was my uncle by marriage at the time) and it was ALL disturbing. For years, my bio fam fed me lies about how my biological mom wanted what’s best for me so she gave me up because she knew she couldn’t take care of me only for me to find out that that was not the case at all.
The paperwork is dated for right after my 5th birthday party. Greatest hits include her:
- Punching me in my mouth
- Smoking cr*ck right in front of me
- Whipping me with a belt so hard it left welts and bruises
- Watching strangers pay my “mother” in cr*ck to take her clothes off
- Being in the bed with my “mother” and another man, all of us naked.
I already knew that I wanted no part of this family, but that really solidified that there was no coming back from everything. I’m a mom myself to 2 amazing kiddos and I just don’t get how you can do that to any child. My biological mother died a couple of months ago and I felt - and still feel - absolutely nothing.
The paperwork is dated for right after my 5th birthday party. Greatest hits include her:
- Punching me in my mouth
- Smoking cr*ck right in front of me
- Whipping me with a belt so hard it left welts and bruises
- Watching strangers pay my “mother” in cr*ck to take her clothes off
- Being in the bed with my “mother” and another man, all of us naked.
I already knew that I wanted no part of this family, but that really solidified that there was no coming back from everything. I’m a mom myself to 2 amazing kiddos and I just don’t get how you can do that to any child. My biological mother died a couple of months ago and I felt - and still feel - absolutely nothing.
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26points
#7
My paternal grandfather was a prison guard for a prominent prison and highly regarded for his long career and being just an all round stand up guy. He was my absolute favorite family member as a child though we weren't able to see him much due to distance.
Turns out, he impregnated his teenage daughter and then he and my nan forced her to have an abortion. Apparently a***e had been happening for a long time and was known but not acknowledged.
Like a decade ago he got into an argument with my uncle over the size of steak he was portioned by my nan, left his house, drove out to the woods and shot himself in the face.
A bit overdramatic but good riddance to bad rubbish.
Turns out, he impregnated his teenage daughter and then he and my nan forced her to have an abortion. Apparently a***e had been happening for a long time and was known but not acknowledged.
Like a decade ago he got into an argument with my uncle over the size of steak he was portioned by my nan, left his house, drove out to the woods and shot himself in the face.
A bit overdramatic but good riddance to bad rubbish.
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24points
#8
My sister buried her memories of my brother se*****y assaulting her when she was 10 to 12 years old.
Her memories started flooding her in her 50s. They are true memories because my brother admitted it in a letter he wrote her after she confronted him in a phone call.
She is ruined. She has severe CPTSD, anxiety, panic attacks, disassociateion, depression, and has become a recluse and doesn't leave her house. She is 68 years old, she can't recover.
Meanwhile, our brother lives a charmed life in his multi million dollar house in beautiful BC Canada.
Her memories started flooding her in her 50s. They are true memories because my brother admitted it in a letter he wrote her after she confronted him in a phone call.
She is ruined. She has severe CPTSD, anxiety, panic attacks, disassociateion, depression, and has become a recluse and doesn't leave her house. She is 68 years old, she can't recover.
Meanwhile, our brother lives a charmed life in his multi million dollar house in beautiful BC Canada.
24points
#9
My mother lied to me and told me my entire life that I was bipolar. It turns out that isn't true, I don't even have a diagnosis.
What really happened is, my older brother used to hurt and k**l small animals in the woods, and he made me watch, and tried to make me do it too. After he k****d our little terrier (it just "disappeared" one day), we moved across the country to a big city where there were no animals and he could be heavily medicated. Then, she had me medicated too, because she didn't want to admit that he did those things. My entire life, she has treated me as a de facto liar, and told me that I made these things up.
Then, she recently admitted it, and the first thing she asked was if I could find it in my heart to forgive him. She knew the whole time - she always knew.
What really happened is, my older brother used to hurt and k**l small animals in the woods, and he made me watch, and tried to make me do it too. After he k****d our little terrier (it just "disappeared" one day), we moved across the country to a big city where there were no animals and he could be heavily medicated. Then, she had me medicated too, because she didn't want to admit that he did those things. My entire life, she has treated me as a de facto liar, and told me that I made these things up.
Then, she recently admitted it, and the first thing she asked was if I could find it in my heart to forgive him. She knew the whole time - she always knew.
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22points
#10
My dad spent a long time believing I wasn’t his. My mum cheated a lot before my parents divorced, and I’m a solid foot taller than anyone else in either my mum or dad’s family and look nothing like him. He never said anything until we were both drunk one night and he brought it up, we’ve never spoke of it since and I’m happy to leave it and never try to find out.
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21points
#11
Finding out my great-uncle repeatedly r***d my great-aunt when he would come home from being an OTR trucker. Happened for years until she waited behind the door with a cast iron skillet one night. She clocked him, he went down. She left him there unconscious. He woke the next day. He never r***d her again, and they were married another 25 years after that.
21points
#12
My uncle (oldest aunt’s husband) r***d my younger aunt (his sister in law) numerous times when she was a teenager. His wife is aware and chose to stay with the man who r***d her little sister.
I used to call him my favorite uncle. My mom let me spend time with him all the time unsupervised growing up.
I found out when he groped my a*s when I was 28, and spoke with my dad’s ex girlfriend about how upset I was. My mom had told my dad what happened 30 years ago and he had told his girlfriend, so it all came to the surface.
I can’t tell anyone else in the family because it is not my story to tell and I will always honor my aunt’s privacy and she doesn’t want people to know.
But f**k you, Jerry. There is a special spot in hell waiting for you.
I used to call him my favorite uncle. My mom let me spend time with him all the time unsupervised growing up.
I found out when he groped my a*s when I was 28, and spoke with my dad’s ex girlfriend about how upset I was. My mom had told my dad what happened 30 years ago and he had told his girlfriend, so it all came to the surface.
I can’t tell anyone else in the family because it is not my story to tell and I will always honor my aunt’s privacy and she doesn’t want people to know.
But f**k you, Jerry. There is a special spot in hell waiting for you.
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19points
#13
Two of my brothers were partners in their own business. One of them had a stroke and thought he would die so signed his half to the other brother. He fully recovered and went back to work. Less than a year later he got fired, by his own brother, who ran the business to the ground. He lost it all, then his home and family. He ended up shooting himself in the head.
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18points
#14
My great grandfather was exiled to America by his family in Europe. They wanted him to take 1 life path and he chose a different one.
When WWII happened, they wrote to him and asked him to sponsor them to come to the US. He said, “You sent me away to what you considered to be a godless country that wasn’t good enough for you”, and refused to help them.
99% of that part of the family was wiped out.
When WWII happened, they wrote to him and asked him to sponsor them to come to the US. He said, “You sent me away to what you considered to be a godless country that wasn’t good enough for you”, and refused to help them.
99% of that part of the family was wiped out.
18points
#15
I found out in my early 20s that my grandfather r***d all of his daughters and even let his friends take turns r**ing them. My mom told me it started when she was 8.
My grandfather died when I was 13 and up until he died I had thought he was a good man who loved and supported his family.
It took decades for my family to start talking and admitting what he'd done.
My grandfather died when I was 13 and up until he died I had thought he was a good man who loved and supported his family.
It took decades for my family to start talking and admitting what he'd done.
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17points
#16
Someone reached out to my cousin a couple years ago saying they matched as relatives. My cousin asked her mom, and sure enough, she knew the family. They were neighbors growing up, and my dad (my aunt’s brother) and the other family’s youngest daughter were near around the same age. They spent a lot of time together since the kids were similar ages.
Turns out, my grandpa had an affair with the neighbor, and she got pregnant. This was late 50s/early 60s. The daughter was raised as the neighbor-dad’s, and my grandpa or the woman never admitted anything.
Unfortunately, the neighbor dad was horribly a*****e and SAed all of his children, including the one related to my family.
Decades later, due to an at-home DNA test, my cousin, aunt, her new found half sister, and half sister’s daughter met up and talked about everything.
The woman was so relieved the man who a****d her wasn’t her real dad, and has since developed a good friendship with my family.
Turns out, my grandpa had an affair with the neighbor, and she got pregnant. This was late 50s/early 60s. The daughter was raised as the neighbor-dad’s, and my grandpa or the woman never admitted anything.
Unfortunately, the neighbor dad was horribly a*****e and SAed all of his children, including the one related to my family.
Decades later, due to an at-home DNA test, my cousin, aunt, her new found half sister, and half sister’s daughter met up and talked about everything.
The woman was so relieved the man who a****d her wasn’t her real dad, and has since developed a good friendship with my family.
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16points
#17
I was told by my mom(adoptive mom) she considered terminating the adoption process because she figured out I had meningitis as an infant and didn’t want a child with potential disabilities. She kept it going because it would look bad if she didn’t. She says she loves me and I do believe her. Was just a lot to stomach is all.
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15points
#18
Not mine but my ex’s friend grew up in a household where the grandpa would routinely SA the kids in the family and would stop once they got a bit older. Everyone in the family knew but no one said or disagreed with anything as they believed he was the patriarch and followed what he did. This friend told my ex that she thought it was normal since every kid went through it. Super f*****g disturbing. They are a Hispanic family too, not that it’s correlated as I’m sure this happens everywhere unfortunately, but for context.
15points
#19
My father passed three years after my mom. I live abroad and was there for his last few weeks and then for the funeral.
Since I don't see my family very often, I kept getting asked about my divorce and my ex's affair that precipitated it. (The betrayal was very traumatic and I was living with a shocked nervous system for months after his confession.)
So it was that after the burial of my father we went to my father's house as an extended family. My sister in law cornered me in a room and told me about my brother's multiple affairs. I tried to be supportive of her but for the next few days it was like a redo of the shock of my ex's affair all over again.
It wasn't so much her sharing it, but the combination of the timing and it being a huge trigger for me personally.
Since I don't see my family very often, I kept getting asked about my divorce and my ex's affair that precipitated it. (The betrayal was very traumatic and I was living with a shocked nervous system for months after his confession.)
So it was that after the burial of my father we went to my father's house as an extended family. My sister in law cornered me in a room and told me about my brother's multiple affairs. I tried to be supportive of her but for the next few days it was like a redo of the shock of my ex's affair all over again.
It wasn't so much her sharing it, but the combination of the timing and it being a huge trigger for me personally.
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15points
#20
My entire family is one of those horrible soap opera level ones.
Aunt got pregnant by a guy who's family was super religious and hated her - guy ended himself so she told another guy it was his. His family told my cousin not to show up to the funeral because he wasn't his kid. Somehow he didn't know but I did, I guess people just said s**t in front of me assuming I wouldn't remember.
Mother - was obsessed with this guy at 15, they dated briefly, she didn't get pregnant like she thought she would so she got with his best friend and tried saying it was guy #1's baby. When the dates didn't match up she accused guy #2 of r**e. This was a trend that continued thorought her life. Any guy who didn't do what she wanted was accused. I know 3 out of 4 of us have different fathers despite her being married at the time. I guess it never occured to her that I'd be able to check my blood type against hers and my siblings.
My great grandmother offed herself due to Post Partum psychosis. Everyone said she died as the result of childbirth. Not that after her 6th back to back pregnancy she hung herself in the middle of ironing laundry which I think is.. Understandable.
Aunt got pregnant by a guy who's family was super religious and hated her - guy ended himself so she told another guy it was his. His family told my cousin not to show up to the funeral because he wasn't his kid. Somehow he didn't know but I did, I guess people just said s**t in front of me assuming I wouldn't remember.
Mother - was obsessed with this guy at 15, they dated briefly, she didn't get pregnant like she thought she would so she got with his best friend and tried saying it was guy #1's baby. When the dates didn't match up she accused guy #2 of r**e. This was a trend that continued thorought her life. Any guy who didn't do what she wanted was accused. I know 3 out of 4 of us have different fathers despite her being married at the time. I guess it never occured to her that I'd be able to check my blood type against hers and my siblings.
My great grandmother offed herself due to Post Partum psychosis. Everyone said she died as the result of childbirth. Not that after her 6th back to back pregnancy she hung herself in the middle of ironing laundry which I think is.. Understandable.
14points