Family and drama go together like oxygen and fire—one fuels the other, and while they can create warmth and light, they can just as easily spark chaos and destruction. So when Reddit user Rentinghappiness asked everyone on the platform to share the biggest secrets they discovered about their relatives, people used the opportunity to use the anonymous nature of the internet to vent their frustrations, confusions, and other kinds of emotional turmoil that they've experienced after unraveling the hidden layers of their relationships.
#1
I discovered that my siblings and I grew up in foster care since no family members were willing to help my aunt and uncle get custody of us. We were in Missouri while they lived in Michigan. They fought the courts with what means they had but couldn’t afford the legal battle. The system thought our mentally ill mother was the best choice even though we would only be home with her for a few months before going back into the system. Rinse repeat until my sister and I at 15&16 were homeless. Luckily we had an older brother that was adopted by a great family and found us. Sent some bus tickets to Detroit to come stay with him and showed us f****d up kids what unconditional love was.
117points
#2
Grandma had a younger sister who she was told had died in infancy but was actually sent away to other family members because she was severely mentally disabled and the family was embarrassed to have an "abnormal" child around. We found her living with some of Grandma's cousins where she was regularly beaten up and even doused with boiling water when she misbehaved and was in her mid 50s then but had the mental capacity of an 8-year old. She eventually got out and ended up in a special needs nursing home where she was fortunately treated better, but the damage was apparent and she'd scream and throw a fit whenever the caregivers filled up a hot bath or made coffee or had anything to do with hot water.
103points
In addition to the personal stories we see in the thread, we also have some quantitative data to go along with it. According to a 2020 survey that looked at secrets that Brits discover, the most common ones about family were:
An affair (29%);
A secret family (22%);
A secret revelation (22%);
Unknown friends (18%);
More money than expected (17%);
More debt than expected (13%);
A secret job (6%).
#3
My mom always told me my father had died in Vietnam during the war.
Imagine my surprise when he showed up to my High School graduation because he'd seen my name in the local paper (I graduated valedictorian and I'm a Junior). Turns out my mom had kidnapped me when I was a baby to keep my father from trying to get custody when they split up. He lived about an hour away from me the whole time I was growing up and neither of us knew it.
Imagine my surprise when he showed up to my High School graduation because he'd seen my name in the local paper (I graduated valedictorian and I'm a Junior). Turns out my mom had kidnapped me when I was a baby to keep my father from trying to get custody when they split up. He lived about an hour away from me the whole time I was growing up and neither of us knew it.
101points
#4
For years we laughed about how, one night, when my dad was little, his parents got drunk and played Russian roulette pointing the gun at themselves and firing. My grandmother’s turn, and she shot herself in the throat, and she lived. Both passed away years ago, and my dad inherited the gun. One night he was re-telling the story to my mom, made sure the gun was unloaded, and realized that even he couldn’t pull the trigger back with the weapon facing himself. There is no way his mom accidentally shot herself, but there is a very high probability that my grandfather shot her.
Dad then remembered that he was sent to foster care for several months after the incident, while the police investigated what happened.
Dad then remembered that he was sent to foster care for several months after the incident, while the police investigated what happened.
79points
#5
That we weren't really poor; rather, I wore ratty clothes, never got any toys, and would frequently go hungry simply because my mom just didn't give a s**t about me. I was 18 when my mom told me that she started to panic when she had less than 50K in savings, this was in the early 2000s
Bright side, it taught me not to buy stupid s**t.
Darkside, nostalgia for games/toys/movies/trips etc. doesn't exist.
Bright side, it taught me not to buy stupid s**t.
Darkside, nostalgia for games/toys/movies/trips etc. doesn't exist.
78points
Most of us would rather find out about these things before our family members pass away—almost 4 in 5 respondents said they wanted to discuss these matters face-to-face.
But when it comes to opening up to family, the study also found some subjects are considered far more taboo than others.
Sex is the most divisive topic, with less than half (48%) of us willing to disclose information about our sex lives to those closest to us. Compared to this, far more of us (59%) would be comfortable talking about our experiences with drugs, and 90% have no qualms about disclosing our finances with family.
#6
My best friend growing up was actually my half brother that my dad conceived with a family friend.
77points
#7
The one vacation I went on with my Dad, which I cherished as one of the few father-son bonding experiences of my childhood, was actually my Mom telling him “Take your son and GTFO for a few weeks while you decide if you want to be married or not”. Apparently there was a “work wife” situation brewing and my Mom was not having it. .
74points
#8
My father was on his death bed and I ran to the train station and hopped on a 5 hour train to see him in the hospital. When I walked in the room, there was two women (older than me by 20 years) holding him and calling him dad. A huge WTF, who are these people?!!!! went through my head and realized he had another family my entire life. He passed away the next day. I still am shocked.
69points
When looking at age demographics, the older generations were consistently more open. For example, 50% of over-65s are happy to discuss drugs compared to just 21% of those aged 18-24 and 20% of those aged 25-35. This trend of elderly honesty and youthful discreetness continues among topics like alcohol, money, and religious beliefs.
Maybe that's why we discover more things when we get older—others become more willing to admit them.
#9
My uncle impregnated his twelve year old step daughter. He is serving a life sentence.
67points
#10
Helluva lot lighter than 99% of this thread but I didn't find out until like 15 years after the fact that when my uncle divorced his wife and got with another woman was because they were swingers and the husbands decided to just swap wives. Now they're hardcore Bible thumpers.
EDIT: Yes, the swap was consensual by all parties.
EDIT: Yes, the swap was consensual by all parties.
67points
#11
I was a single child my whole life, then my dad died and I learned in my 30s, that my cousin was my brother, I had a half sister who lived across the country, had a sister down the street and another half sister who was like in her late 50s.
67points
#12
My half-sisters were kidnapped by their (undiagnosed at the time) clinically insane mother who kept them from my dad for two years. He came home one day and they were all gone. He spent those years looking for them, but since it was the mother who took them, he didn’t receive much help from authorities. During those years, my sisters suffered at the hands of their mother and her numerous male companions. One day, their mother just got tired of them and sent them back to their dad.
I didn’t know any of this until a few weeks ago. It explains so much.
I didn’t know any of this until a few weeks ago. It explains so much.
65points
#13
My mom and dad were real brother and sister but they didn't know it too until they had 2 kids.
63points
#14
My father, a man of questionable morals, set my shy brother up with one of his mistresses. This woman, desperate to escape poverty, agreed to the arrangement.
Tragically, my father continued his affair with her even after she married my brother. This left my brother in a deeply troubled and painful situation.
My brother passed away at the young age of 50, leaving behind a complicated legacy. I'm unsure if the child he had with this woman is my sister or my niece, given my father's involvement.
My brother's life was marked by sadness and turmoil, a direct result of my father's selfish actions.
Tragically, my father continued his affair with her even after she married my brother. This left my brother in a deeply troubled and painful situation.
My brother passed away at the young age of 50, leaving behind a complicated legacy. I'm unsure if the child he had with this woman is my sister or my niece, given my father's involvement.
My brother's life was marked by sadness and turmoil, a direct result of my father's selfish actions.
63points
#15
My parents always told us kids that my mom lost her front teeth because as babies we’d accidentally head butted her so often we knocked them out.
The truth of it was that when my parents drank (which was, and I assume is still, all the time) they would argue a lot. When my dad got sick of my mom’s voice he’d pop her in the mouth with the back of his hand.
He’s the one that knocked out her teeth, and then blamed it on us as babies.
The truth of it was that when my parents drank (which was, and I assume is still, all the time) they would argue a lot. When my dad got sick of my mom’s voice he’d pop her in the mouth with the back of his hand.
He’s the one that knocked out her teeth, and then blamed it on us as babies.
62points
#16
I knew that my biological father had a sister that died when she was 6-yrs-old. It wasn’t until I was grown that I heard the full story. My Dad was 10 and Helen 6. He was supposed to be looking out for her while they were outside playing. They had walked to a neighbors house and Helen wanted to go home. Dad wanted to stay and told Hellen to walk back home by herself. She was hit by a car and died. My grand-parents blamed my Dad and he carried that guilt his entire life.
57points
#17
My grandma's sister died when she was 15, hit by a car right in front of the family house, well my uncle bought the house years ago and found her hidden journal, turns out great grandpa was abusing her and she [unalived] herself...
54points
#18
My mom's side of the family owned a couple family members from my dad's side of the family during the slave times.
53points
#19
Apparently my dad tried to strangle his ex wife and the only reason she survived is because she cut his arm with a kitchen knife. My mom and I got to find out that little fun fact together, because his ex called her to warn her that he was crazy when she found out he’d remarried. 🙂 so there’s that.
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49points
#20
On of my moms sisters died of SIDS in the 50s. Years later it came out that my grandfather got tired of hearing her cry and frustratingly shook the s**t out of her. She actually died of shaken baby syndrome. I don’t know how authorities didn’t know (?).
46points