Being disowned by your family can mean losing the people you once expected to be there through every stage of life. For some people, that happened after a major disagreement, a difficult personal decision, or a conflict that permanently changed their relationships.
These stories surfaced online when people were asked to reveal why their families ultimately cut them off. The answers range from painful disagreements and broken trust to deeply personal choices that relatives simply could not accept. Together, they offer a glimpse into the complicated circumstances that can lead families to walk away from one another.
#21
My father was born with FAS. He grew up with an alcoholic, a****ve, sexist dad who put him through Catholic school, where the teachers and fellow students there were also very a****ve. He met my mother, a woman who had daily grand mal seizures, and married her.
Epilepsy should make a woman infertile. My mother got pregnant with me in 1991. For some reason, her daily seizures stopped.
Everything before I was 7 years old was a relatively normal childhood. I think my father really tried - I have some good memories of him then. He was far more a****ve to his children than he should have been. My mother made sure I could read and write at a very young age - she constantly tried to make sure her children (my little brother was born a year later) were going to be fine in life.
But when I turned 7, my mother's convulsions returned. My father's a****ve habits got worse. He became an alcoholic. He was very sexist - he constantly took his anger out on me when he didn't know how to handle my mother having 20+ grand mal seizures a day while he was balancing a 40+ hour a week factory job with a 2 hour commute either way. My mother pretty much died when I was 7. Once her seizures came back, she was a borderline mute, inattentive parent who hardly knew her own name or that slippers didn't go in the fridge.
I didn't understand anything. I became a complete nightmare to handle. I remember screaming at my parents for hours, daily. I developed some sort of anxiety disorder where I'd have night terrors, I couldn't stop thinking about tramatic events, etc. In response, my father would just drink more, say worse things, etc.
When I was 15, I was hospitalized with something that only existed thanks to my parents refusing to take me to the doctor's for 2 years. I haven't checked, but that probably made me infertile. Truthfully, I don't want to know. I remember screaming at my parents for that one too - I think that's the one that really threw me over the edge tho. Literally everything in my life was out of my control.
I went to great lengths to keep my brother out of harm's way. I made sure my father was always angry with me, and not him. I like to think I was very successful with this, but I probably was not.
In the end, my father kicked me out of the house when I was 18. No driver's license, no car, no health insurance, no phone, hardly any clothes, and $100 to my name. Luckily, a friend's family rushed in and got my life in a relatively stable place. That was 7 years ago and I still tear up a bit remembering their kindness.
The only 2 times I've seen my mom and dad since was less than stellar. My father has never apologized, nor my mother, but they have asked for money. Their health is failing completely and they're refusing to go to doctors. I don't talk to them anymore.
Epilepsy should make a woman infertile. My mother got pregnant with me in 1991. For some reason, her daily seizures stopped.
Everything before I was 7 years old was a relatively normal childhood. I think my father really tried - I have some good memories of him then. He was far more a****ve to his children than he should have been. My mother made sure I could read and write at a very young age - she constantly tried to make sure her children (my little brother was born a year later) were going to be fine in life.
But when I turned 7, my mother's convulsions returned. My father's a****ve habits got worse. He became an alcoholic. He was very sexist - he constantly took his anger out on me when he didn't know how to handle my mother having 20+ grand mal seizures a day while he was balancing a 40+ hour a week factory job with a 2 hour commute either way. My mother pretty much died when I was 7. Once her seizures came back, she was a borderline mute, inattentive parent who hardly knew her own name or that slippers didn't go in the fridge.
I didn't understand anything. I became a complete nightmare to handle. I remember screaming at my parents for hours, daily. I developed some sort of anxiety disorder where I'd have night terrors, I couldn't stop thinking about tramatic events, etc. In response, my father would just drink more, say worse things, etc.
When I was 15, I was hospitalized with something that only existed thanks to my parents refusing to take me to the doctor's for 2 years. I haven't checked, but that probably made me infertile. Truthfully, I don't want to know. I remember screaming at my parents for that one too - I think that's the one that really threw me over the edge tho. Literally everything in my life was out of my control.
I went to great lengths to keep my brother out of harm's way. I made sure my father was always angry with me, and not him. I like to think I was very successful with this, but I probably was not.
In the end, my father kicked me out of the house when I was 18. No driver's license, no car, no health insurance, no phone, hardly any clothes, and $100 to my name. Luckily, a friend's family rushed in and got my life in a relatively stable place. That was 7 years ago and I still tear up a bit remembering their kindness.
The only 2 times I've seen my mom and dad since was less than stellar. My father has never apologized, nor my mother, but they have asked for money. Their health is failing completely and they're refusing to go to doctors. I don't talk to them anymore.
Report
10points
Another difficult part is not knowing exactly what the estrangement means or whether it will last. Simply Psychology notes that being cut off can leave people without the information they normally use to make sense of a broken relationship.
They may not know precisely what caused the separation, whether the explanation they received was complete, or whether reconciliation is ever going to be possible. When the other person stops communicating, the person left behind may have little opportunity to ask questions or understand how the relationship reached that point.
#22
(Sorry for my English, its not my first language)
My father, with whom we live in the same city, left my mother and me when I was not even 2 years old. He cheated on my mom and although she persuaded him to stay (she loved him very much), he left.
Everything was fine until my prom. In my country (Ukraine) we have a tradition: girls dance the first dance with their dads, and the boys dance with their mothers. I invited my mother to dance, because I don't consider my father a parent. After that, he took offense at me and tells all relatives from his side that I am a b***h and do not deserve a place in theirs and his life. They love me, because I am the first child in the family and have not done much harm to anyone, but they also love him, which causes strange feelings in me.
We had a court session because he stopped paying alements. After this hearing, through our lawyer, he told us that he was unpleasant, that my mother was turning me against him.
P.S. He blocked all my and my mother's numbers, and we only communicate through a lawyer ... who else is turning me against him ?! I'm so f*****g hate him..
My father, with whom we live in the same city, left my mother and me when I was not even 2 years old. He cheated on my mom and although she persuaded him to stay (she loved him very much), he left.
Everything was fine until my prom. In my country (Ukraine) we have a tradition: girls dance the first dance with their dads, and the boys dance with their mothers. I invited my mother to dance, because I don't consider my father a parent. After that, he took offense at me and tells all relatives from his side that I am a b***h and do not deserve a place in theirs and his life. They love me, because I am the first child in the family and have not done much harm to anyone, but they also love him, which causes strange feelings in me.
We had a court session because he stopped paying alements. After this hearing, through our lawyer, he told us that he was unpleasant, that my mother was turning me against him.
P.S. He blocked all my and my mother's numbers, and we only communicate through a lawyer ... who else is turning me against him ?! I'm so f*****g hate him..
Report
9points
#23
Where do I start?
My mother and I have never gotten along. As a child she has been overly critical of me (Asian parent). Even when I was small I remember her telling my Dad "If she can't even cut in a straight line what can she even do?!". I was 5 when she said that. When she realized that I was not going to grow up like she did or have the interests she wanted me to have she grew more critical of me. She laid of a bit when my little sister came around and she favored her more. I always felt like I was never enough in her eyes. She only was affectionate during family get togethers, vacations or sometimes in public.
When I came out of the closet, she didn't believe me. She always said lightheartedly that she would love me no matter what but when push came to shove my bi-ness was just a phase. We then went to church for the next few months afterwards (I was catholic).
When I hit depression in my teens each time she picked me up from therapy she always kept asking "When am I going to be ok" or hinting how much my sessions are while on anti-depressants.
She then cheated on my dad when I was around 18.
When I had my son, she came to be supportive after the birth but ended up critisizing how dirty my place was, my parenting and subtly hinted at calling CPS. Post partum hit hard and a failed s*****e attempt ensued.
What broke the camels back was I was visiting family and her mother's partner kept on making me uncomfortable. Kept trying to don my child with a certain political hat and took video of her saying poltical stuff I was not ok with. Kept saying I was uncomfortable but was told "You need to take the stick out of your a*s" or "You need to learn to take a joke." The behavior still continued. Then a big confrontation happened and she denyed everything of my childhood. My mother said she can't control her partner, he does what he wants despite us telling her its not ok. She then stated and begged for me to get help. I mentally broke. I'm in therapy now but right now I don't know if I can take it if something like this happens again. I am just thankful for my support system now.
I'm probably missing some stuff but at this moment i'm thankful for who I have in my life and that i'm alive.
My mother and I have never gotten along. As a child she has been overly critical of me (Asian parent). Even when I was small I remember her telling my Dad "If she can't even cut in a straight line what can she even do?!". I was 5 when she said that. When she realized that I was not going to grow up like she did or have the interests she wanted me to have she grew more critical of me. She laid of a bit when my little sister came around and she favored her more. I always felt like I was never enough in her eyes. She only was affectionate during family get togethers, vacations or sometimes in public.
When I came out of the closet, she didn't believe me. She always said lightheartedly that she would love me no matter what but when push came to shove my bi-ness was just a phase. We then went to church for the next few months afterwards (I was catholic).
When I hit depression in my teens each time she picked me up from therapy she always kept asking "When am I going to be ok" or hinting how much my sessions are while on anti-depressants.
She then cheated on my dad when I was around 18.
When I had my son, she came to be supportive after the birth but ended up critisizing how dirty my place was, my parenting and subtly hinted at calling CPS. Post partum hit hard and a failed s*****e attempt ensued.
What broke the camels back was I was visiting family and her mother's partner kept on making me uncomfortable. Kept trying to don my child with a certain political hat and took video of her saying poltical stuff I was not ok with. Kept saying I was uncomfortable but was told "You need to take the stick out of your a*s" or "You need to learn to take a joke." The behavior still continued. Then a big confrontation happened and she denyed everything of my childhood. My mother said she can't control her partner, he does what he wants despite us telling her its not ok. She then stated and begged for me to get help. I mentally broke. I'm in therapy now but right now I don't know if I can take it if something like this happens again. I am just thankful for my support system now.
I'm probably missing some stuff but at this moment i'm thankful for who I have in my life and that i'm alive.
8points
#24
Emotionally distant codependent mother, a*****e narcissist father. I put up with decades of a***e that landed me with a whole host of psychological issues. At one point my father refused to speak to me for 3 months because I wouldn't babysit his mistress' kid while he took her to the hospital for a mild fever (he'd been lying to me about who she was and how they met but I had figured it out because I'm not f*****g stupid). And you know what, I would probably have continued to accept that s****y treatment because I was so beaten down by that point that I thought it was okay.
But then my first kid was born. The birth was rough, kiddo almost died. I was told he could be severely disabled, unable to walk, talk or eat and that I wouldn't have a good idea what his life would look like until he was at least 1. No help while he was in the NICU. He turned out to be fine that way, but we dealt with some health issues that led him to nurse 20 minutes out of every hour around the clock for months on end. Then we got that sorted out and all of us caught the cold from hell. Back to not sleeping. Told my mom and her response was (verbatim) "Glad I'm not there 🤪"
So, for some context, my parents lived nearby, the closest out of any relatives, but saw him maybe 5 times in his first 10 months of life. My father had never held the little guy. Whenever they heard about other family seeing him, they'd b***h that it was unfair. I told them if they wanted to see him, all they had to do was text me and I'd do everything else. They told me they shouldn't have to. They babysat once so I could go to a wedding and b****ed about it for months afterwards. It's safe to say they weren't involved.
I told her it wasn't funny and she told me I didn't get the joke. I told her that it might be funny if she was the slightest bit involved or helpful, but with her being as hands off as she is it was just cruel. She doubled down and I went off on her. Told her that her mother would be disgusted with her if she could see how she was treating me and my kid. Father texted me later, we talked it out, he said he understood and all was good, just leave my mom alone until she's ready to talk again.
Except it wasn't all good. A month later, out of the blue, my husband gets a text message from my father telling him that I'm off my meds, behaving erratically and aggressively and that I'm a danger to our kid. That was news to both of us, we were on our way home from a Christmas party. That was the moment I decided I was done. I couldn't have my kid growing up in a family where it's okay to treat people that way. I didn't want him around those people. I've been no contact since November 2019 and the years since have been the happiest years of my life. I've got two amazing boys, one of whom has never met my parents and I feel great about my decision.
Oh, but if you ask them, I was mad because they wouldn't give me money and I wanted them to babysit every week. Entitled millennials, yanno?
But then my first kid was born. The birth was rough, kiddo almost died. I was told he could be severely disabled, unable to walk, talk or eat and that I wouldn't have a good idea what his life would look like until he was at least 1. No help while he was in the NICU. He turned out to be fine that way, but we dealt with some health issues that led him to nurse 20 minutes out of every hour around the clock for months on end. Then we got that sorted out and all of us caught the cold from hell. Back to not sleeping. Told my mom and her response was (verbatim) "Glad I'm not there 🤪"
So, for some context, my parents lived nearby, the closest out of any relatives, but saw him maybe 5 times in his first 10 months of life. My father had never held the little guy. Whenever they heard about other family seeing him, they'd b***h that it was unfair. I told them if they wanted to see him, all they had to do was text me and I'd do everything else. They told me they shouldn't have to. They babysat once so I could go to a wedding and b****ed about it for months afterwards. It's safe to say they weren't involved.
I told her it wasn't funny and she told me I didn't get the joke. I told her that it might be funny if she was the slightest bit involved or helpful, but with her being as hands off as she is it was just cruel. She doubled down and I went off on her. Told her that her mother would be disgusted with her if she could see how she was treating me and my kid. Father texted me later, we talked it out, he said he understood and all was good, just leave my mom alone until she's ready to talk again.
Except it wasn't all good. A month later, out of the blue, my husband gets a text message from my father telling him that I'm off my meds, behaving erratically and aggressively and that I'm a danger to our kid. That was news to both of us, we were on our way home from a Christmas party. That was the moment I decided I was done. I couldn't have my kid growing up in a family where it's okay to treat people that way. I didn't want him around those people. I've been no contact since November 2019 and the years since have been the happiest years of my life. I've got two amazing boys, one of whom has never met my parents and I feel great about my decision.
Oh, but if you ask them, I was mad because they wouldn't give me money and I wanted them to babysit every week. Entitled millennials, yanno?
Report
8points
That uncertainty can make it difficult to know what to do next. Someone might consider reaching out, decide to wait, attempt another conversation, or replay previous interactions while searching for the moment when everything changed. Without a clear resolution, the mind can keep returning to the same unanswered questions and imagining different outcomes.
The result is that estrangement can involve not only the loss of a relationship, but also the loss of certainty about what happened and what comes next. For people who have been cut off by relatives, that unresolved feeling can become one of the hardest parts of moving forward.
#25
I was disowned but probably by my own choice.
Father died when I was 18. I gave up college to look after him drive him to hospital every other day for tests. He went to hypno sessions I would sit for hours waiting for him. I did it all. My brother was never to be seen he was away living his life. Mother was a heavy drinker. I still lived at home my brother didn’t. I was left to put up with drunk a***e from my mum losing her husband of 30yrs.
I looked the double of my dad so for some reason she took it out on me. Or this is what people told me. Changed locks on me after coming home from work all the time and I was stuck. Claimed I was stealing from her. Telling everyone lies about me it was horrible. Nightly a***e shouting at me accusing me of nonsense while drunk. I tried to help but she didn’t want to know. Used to call police on me claiming all sorts.
They would turn up see my mum being drunk and me in my room chilling and tell her off.
Was very toxic. My brother wasn’t interested he was 4 years older than me and just didn’t care. Never visited me or my mum. I begged for help and he was just a coward.
One day a friend had a room come up for rent so I packed stuff and just left. She was shocked and surprised. But was the best thing. I used to try keep in touch but just got a***e. Drunken phone calls and threats.
I was 21 at this point and was expecting a child with my partner so decided I had had enough. I cut all ties.
Cue my brother realising my mum had lots of money from my dads retirement and life insurance. Becomes my mums best friend. She buys him everything. Effectively making a deal with the devil. And is scared to talk to me incase she finds out.
Long story short years later turns out my mum had throat cancer he just didn’t tell me about until she choked and died suddenly one day. And I get left a voicemail telling me as much. Attended the funeral through gritted teeth.
And then found out I was nowhere on the will. And my brother got the lot. A substantial amount. And I never heard from him again to this day it’s been 5 years since my mum died and he just vanished.
I was told I could fight it but that wasn’t me. I was never about the money unlike my brother.
And I live hoping he comes knocking one day and needs a kidney so I can tell him to go away kindly.
Family and money is a horrible situation. And I live daily thinking I did something wrong and I can’t put my finger on what it was to be treated this way and it haunts me and has left me with many issues.
The wrong family member died first my dad was a gentleman and looking back put up with horrible a***e from my mum. I was like my dad and my brother was like my mum.
Father died when I was 18. I gave up college to look after him drive him to hospital every other day for tests. He went to hypno sessions I would sit for hours waiting for him. I did it all. My brother was never to be seen he was away living his life. Mother was a heavy drinker. I still lived at home my brother didn’t. I was left to put up with drunk a***e from my mum losing her husband of 30yrs.
I looked the double of my dad so for some reason she took it out on me. Or this is what people told me. Changed locks on me after coming home from work all the time and I was stuck. Claimed I was stealing from her. Telling everyone lies about me it was horrible. Nightly a***e shouting at me accusing me of nonsense while drunk. I tried to help but she didn’t want to know. Used to call police on me claiming all sorts.
They would turn up see my mum being drunk and me in my room chilling and tell her off.
Was very toxic. My brother wasn’t interested he was 4 years older than me and just didn’t care. Never visited me or my mum. I begged for help and he was just a coward.
One day a friend had a room come up for rent so I packed stuff and just left. She was shocked and surprised. But was the best thing. I used to try keep in touch but just got a***e. Drunken phone calls and threats.
I was 21 at this point and was expecting a child with my partner so decided I had had enough. I cut all ties.
Cue my brother realising my mum had lots of money from my dads retirement and life insurance. Becomes my mums best friend. She buys him everything. Effectively making a deal with the devil. And is scared to talk to me incase she finds out.
Long story short years later turns out my mum had throat cancer he just didn’t tell me about until she choked and died suddenly one day. And I get left a voicemail telling me as much. Attended the funeral through gritted teeth.
And then found out I was nowhere on the will. And my brother got the lot. A substantial amount. And I never heard from him again to this day it’s been 5 years since my mum died and he just vanished.
I was told I could fight it but that wasn’t me. I was never about the money unlike my brother.
And I live hoping he comes knocking one day and needs a kidney so I can tell him to go away kindly.
Family and money is a horrible situation. And I live daily thinking I did something wrong and I can’t put my finger on what it was to be treated this way and it haunts me and has left me with many issues.
The wrong family member died first my dad was a gentleman and looking back put up with horrible a***e from my mum. I was like my dad and my brother was like my mum.
Report
7points
#26
My father almost attacked me with a butcher knife. If my ex-boyfriend wasn’t there, I probably would have died. I left my fathers apartment that day and never looked back. He had been a*****g me for years and I never told anyone, so when I left he told everyone that I had gotten pregnant and ran away with my boyfriend. That absolutely did not happen but my family disowned me anyway.
There is a lot more to the story but basically I found out that he’d been telling his family awful things about my mom and I for YEARS. So of course, who are they going to believe?
I have no desire to be in contact with my family and I hope they rot in hell.
There is a lot more to the story but basically I found out that he’d been telling his family awful things about my mom and I for YEARS. So of course, who are they going to believe?
I have no desire to be in contact with my family and I hope they rot in hell.
Report
7points
#27
Grew up in a fairly normal family. Parents divorced when I was quite young and the kids stayed with mom but we were still always very close with our dad. We drifted apart a bit as an adult as I lived quite far from home, but nothing major. Went back to visit regularly and so on.
Anyway. One day a few years ago, on my dad's birthday, I send him a message on Facebook (he'd had me teach him how to set up a profile and we'd been sending lots of messages back and forth) wishing him happy birthday and asking if he had any nice plans and generally talking about how I wanted to come visit soon and etc etc.
He replied telling me not to contact him again, he no longer thought of me as his daughter, and goodbye.
I have no idea what happened. Never managed to get an explanation from him and nobody else seems to have a clue. He's completely normal around my brother. I could at least try to understand if I'd done something "bad" or we'd had an argument or just really if anything out of the ordinary at all had just happened, but no.
It ruins so many memories and nostalgias, even made me worry for a while that it affected my choice of partner. We held my grandad's funeral recently, dad was there, and he wouldn't even make eye contact with me despite repeated efforts. Actually, I didn't even notice he was sitting close to us until catching sight of him, it turns out I don't even recognize his voice any more. Ugh. Wish I knew what happened :(
Anyway. One day a few years ago, on my dad's birthday, I send him a message on Facebook (he'd had me teach him how to set up a profile and we'd been sending lots of messages back and forth) wishing him happy birthday and asking if he had any nice plans and generally talking about how I wanted to come visit soon and etc etc.
He replied telling me not to contact him again, he no longer thought of me as his daughter, and goodbye.
I have no idea what happened. Never managed to get an explanation from him and nobody else seems to have a clue. He's completely normal around my brother. I could at least try to understand if I'd done something "bad" or we'd had an argument or just really if anything out of the ordinary at all had just happened, but no.
It ruins so many memories and nostalgias, even made me worry for a while that it affected my choice of partner. We held my grandad's funeral recently, dad was there, and he wouldn't even make eye contact with me despite repeated efforts. Actually, I didn't even notice he was sitting close to us until catching sight of him, it turns out I don't even recognize his voice any more. Ugh. Wish I knew what happened :(
7points
Family estrangement rarely comes down to one simple moment. Behind a decision to cut contact can be years of disagreements, unresolved hurt, difficult boundaries, or choices that relatives could not accept. For the people involved, the loss can be complicated by unanswered questions and the lingering possibility that things might one day change.
Have you ever experienced a family relationship falling apart after years of tension? What do you think makes some family conflicts impossible to repair? Share your thoughts and experiences in the comments.
#28
i was disowned by proxy you could say since it was my mom who was the one they disowned originally. She was 13 when she got pregnant with me, 14 when i was born, and she didn't know who the father was except that it was one of eight men. The only reason she knows that much is because i am white, if i had been born half black it would have a been a much larger number because her BF, a 23 year old black guy, was pimping her out.
She also stole $3,100 from her parents and gave it to her BF so he could get drugs to sell.
i went into Foster Care because when i was 9 she was sent to prison for three counts of attempted m****r in the commission of a crime (armed robbery) because her family wanted nothing to do with me because of her.
It never really mattered to me that they don't want anything to do with me because they were never in my life. i was dragged along from cheap motel to another by mom, who was constantly hooking up with different men who abused her, and me. At night while she was working i wandered the streets until she had made enough money. That was all i knew until i was put into the home of two really cool people who gave me my freedom and kept me fed and clothed and gave me my own room. They're my real family, along of course with my Dom, who i live with now.
She also stole $3,100 from her parents and gave it to her BF so he could get drugs to sell.
i went into Foster Care because when i was 9 she was sent to prison for three counts of attempted m****r in the commission of a crime (armed robbery) because her family wanted nothing to do with me because of her.
It never really mattered to me that they don't want anything to do with me because they were never in my life. i was dragged along from cheap motel to another by mom, who was constantly hooking up with different men who abused her, and me. At night while she was working i wandered the streets until she had made enough money. That was all i knew until i was put into the home of two really cool people who gave me my freedom and kept me fed and clothed and gave me my own room. They're my real family, along of course with my Dom, who i live with now.
Report
7points
#29
My mother is A q anon conspiracy nut job, I called her out on her delusions. I told her I thought her ideology was dangerous and that she needed help. We fought, even went to family therapy together. My dad sat in on the sessions, after a few sessions he texted me saying that it wasn’t going anywhere and that they didn’t want to speak with me again. My parents have been bad mouthing me to the rest of my very conservative family. I don’t know what to do or where to go. I understand how terrible my parents are but my kids don’t and they are going to miss their grandparents. I’m not looking forward to telling them.
6points
#30
My mom decided when I was 13-14 that she didn't want to have kids anymore. Her and my dad divorced. So my dad moved out of the family house and my mom was newly single.
So she gets my sister out first by asking my sister to go away to stay with our dad for the weekend. When my sister came back, my mom had packed all her items in boxes and said, "find somewhere else to live." Sister was maybe 15. Her reasoning is she didn't like the crowd my sister was running with.
With me, I stuck around longer. I took more mistreatment and neglect. My mom didn't cook, or clean, or have food in the house. And despite getting child support, if I asked for shoes, or anything, "ask your father, don't ask me."
Despite not having food or money, she wouldn't give me the alarm code to the house, or a key. I could only come home if she was home. One day she agreed to drive my friends and I to the movies. Well her and I got into a small argument about something in the morning (I don't remember what) and I left and arrived home in the afternoon. She was home but wouldn't let me in. I was a 13-14 year old kid (before cell phones were that commonplace). Ringing the bell, peering in the windows. She wouldn't let me in. Finally I found an open window and climbed through and she coldly looked at me and said, "you know, I could have you arrested for breaking into the house if I wanted to."
I went to live with my dad shortly thereafter. She moved away to live with a guy she met from the internet. Sponsored him to come into the country with his 12 year old son. By the time I was 16, she was married and moved the guy in, and bought his son new video games, travel allowance, his own apartment when he was a teenager, and wouldn't even buy me shoes.
Well, she gave this guy access to her bank account and he took all her money. Her entire life savings. All her money in the world. She lost her house and became homeless, my sister took her in at the time.
My mom eventually got back on her feet a little bit, got a job. I tried to repair the relationship and be nice. Never for long.
Finally she had some kind of mental breakdown a few years ago when I was in my early 30's. And called my office demanding I help her. Something happened at work where her mental health went sideways and she started behaving very erratically. For some reason when she called my colleague speaking nonsensically and rambling about me, my colleague decided to give her my number (!!) to take it up with me myself. My colleague said she felt bad after.
So I tried to help my mom, and spent all this time talking to her boss, her union rep, her neighbors, her doctor, trying to help her. And she just kept going crazy and being toxic, not willing to accept my help.
I washed my hands of her.
So she disowned me when she got a better family and then I tried to help her but she tried to take me down with her.
So she gets my sister out first by asking my sister to go away to stay with our dad for the weekend. When my sister came back, my mom had packed all her items in boxes and said, "find somewhere else to live." Sister was maybe 15. Her reasoning is she didn't like the crowd my sister was running with.
With me, I stuck around longer. I took more mistreatment and neglect. My mom didn't cook, or clean, or have food in the house. And despite getting child support, if I asked for shoes, or anything, "ask your father, don't ask me."
Despite not having food or money, she wouldn't give me the alarm code to the house, or a key. I could only come home if she was home. One day she agreed to drive my friends and I to the movies. Well her and I got into a small argument about something in the morning (I don't remember what) and I left and arrived home in the afternoon. She was home but wouldn't let me in. I was a 13-14 year old kid (before cell phones were that commonplace). Ringing the bell, peering in the windows. She wouldn't let me in. Finally I found an open window and climbed through and she coldly looked at me and said, "you know, I could have you arrested for breaking into the house if I wanted to."
I went to live with my dad shortly thereafter. She moved away to live with a guy she met from the internet. Sponsored him to come into the country with his 12 year old son. By the time I was 16, she was married and moved the guy in, and bought his son new video games, travel allowance, his own apartment when he was a teenager, and wouldn't even buy me shoes.
Well, she gave this guy access to her bank account and he took all her money. Her entire life savings. All her money in the world. She lost her house and became homeless, my sister took her in at the time.
My mom eventually got back on her feet a little bit, got a job. I tried to repair the relationship and be nice. Never for long.
Finally she had some kind of mental breakdown a few years ago when I was in my early 30's. And called my office demanding I help her. Something happened at work where her mental health went sideways and she started behaving very erratically. For some reason when she called my colleague speaking nonsensically and rambling about me, my colleague decided to give her my number (!!) to take it up with me myself. My colleague said she felt bad after.
So I tried to help my mom, and spent all this time talking to her boss, her union rep, her neighbors, her doctor, trying to help her. And she just kept going crazy and being toxic, not willing to accept my help.
I washed my hands of her.
So she disowned me when she got a better family and then I tried to help her but she tried to take me down with her.
5points
#31
My narcissistic birth mother has disowned me several times either for no reason or because of whatever man shes with at the time.She disowned me out of the blue this time because her new husband she met on the internet wanted me gone.She disowned both of my sons at the same time.I was blindsided with no warning or signs beforehand.Im not forgiving her this time.
Report
5points
#32
I went to court to get disowned. My father was over 5.000.000 euro's in debt. Had to go to court because if I'd just reject the heritage it would pass on to my children and the would have to make the same decision when they turn 18.
Report
5points
#33
My cousin disowned the entire family. None of us are sad about it.
She has been a d**g a****t since she was 16 (she’s somewhere in her late 30’s-early 40’s now). She has stolen from everyone in the family, she lost custody of both of her children permanently, and she’s been arrested several times. The family has pitched in and tried to get her into rehab, NA, and even tried to help her get her kids back. She’ll be sober for a few months, then go right back to using. Nothing has ever stuck. She doesn’t seem to ever hit rock bottom (in her eyes).
After the family found out that the cops came to their hotel room and found bruises all over my very ill (later found out she was dying) aunt, who was also alone when she definitely could not take care of herself, we were all done with her. There are warrants out for her, but nobody knows where the hell she is. She literally packed up her stuff and left her own mother to d*e alone.
I hate to say it, but she is white trash and I honestly do not think there is any hope for her at this point. There is no other side to this story.
She has been a d**g a****t since she was 16 (she’s somewhere in her late 30’s-early 40’s now). She has stolen from everyone in the family, she lost custody of both of her children permanently, and she’s been arrested several times. The family has pitched in and tried to get her into rehab, NA, and even tried to help her get her kids back. She’ll be sober for a few months, then go right back to using. Nothing has ever stuck. She doesn’t seem to ever hit rock bottom (in her eyes).
After the family found out that the cops came to their hotel room and found bruises all over my very ill (later found out she was dying) aunt, who was also alone when she definitely could not take care of herself, we were all done with her. There are warrants out for her, but nobody knows where the hell she is. She literally packed up her stuff and left her own mother to d*e alone.
I hate to say it, but she is white trash and I honestly do not think there is any hope for her at this point. There is no other side to this story.
Report
5points
#34
My aunt disowns me every once in a while and either acts like nothing has happened or uses whatever event counts as good in her eyes. It’s never even anything huge, it’s literally her being so dramatic that they’d take the Oscar off of Leonardo Dicaprio and hand it to her without hesitation.
For some reason the most stupidest one was refusing to share Facebook chain mail with a guilt tripping and threatening message. She disowned me and for some reason a few of the adults in my family actually sided with her and demanded I apologise because I was rude and disgusting.
I’m waiting to be disowned again soon and I’ll be telling her to make sure it’s permanent this time.
For some reason the most stupidest one was refusing to share Facebook chain mail with a guilt tripping and threatening message. She disowned me and for some reason a few of the adults in my family actually sided with her and demanded I apologise because I was rude and disgusting.
I’m waiting to be disowned again soon and I’ll be telling her to make sure it’s permanent this time.
Report
5points
#35
My parents have disowned me to some degree. We still talk a few times a year but we are very low-contact. During college they had gestured that I was going to be 'fully' disowned after I graduated so I built a life away from them.
I figure they still love me but my "lifestyle choices" (transgender) are untenable with their own. My dad told me we weren't related when it came to business and didn't want others at his company finding out. My mom told me she didn't like being around me in public. My siblings and relatives all have worked at my dad's company, but nope, not me. One of my siblings bounces between being employed there and not, due to basically sucking at holding a job. I had to figure out everything myself while my siblings get chance after chance.
I am the only child who has a college degree, got their own job, stable relationship and support themselves. But I am the bad one.
I haven't seen most of my grandparents for years. I haven't seen my oldest grandpa in about 6 years. I am figuring one day I am going to be told he died and I am not allowed to go to his funeral. Or he will die and I just won't be told.
I haven't seen most of my cousins in years. My uncle threatened me as a teenager over being gay (I am in my late 20s) so when I officially came out (in my late teens) my parents stopped inviting both of us to the same events; score +1 for my parents I guess. I haven't seen those cousins in maybe 3 years.
The closest collision with my uncle was 5 or 6 years ago. My dad was selling a car to him at the house, so my dad ordered me pizza then rushed me upstairs before my uncle got there.
One of my other uncles is dying apparently and I haven't seen him in probably a decade despite growing up seeing him 2 - 3 times a year.
So I just have my siblings and my parents. I see them 2 - 3 times a year for a few days each over the holidays. They send me a text on my birthday, but otherwise we don't really talk about life.
My parents have warmed up over the last 10 years, but when you go through your late teens and 20s thinking you have lost your family, you find another one. I would love to rekindle a good relationship, but I have no idea how or if they're even interested.
I figure they still love me but my "lifestyle choices" (transgender) are untenable with their own. My dad told me we weren't related when it came to business and didn't want others at his company finding out. My mom told me she didn't like being around me in public. My siblings and relatives all have worked at my dad's company, but nope, not me. One of my siblings bounces between being employed there and not, due to basically sucking at holding a job. I had to figure out everything myself while my siblings get chance after chance.
I am the only child who has a college degree, got their own job, stable relationship and support themselves. But I am the bad one.
I haven't seen most of my grandparents for years. I haven't seen my oldest grandpa in about 6 years. I am figuring one day I am going to be told he died and I am not allowed to go to his funeral. Or he will die and I just won't be told.
I haven't seen most of my cousins in years. My uncle threatened me as a teenager over being gay (I am in my late 20s) so when I officially came out (in my late teens) my parents stopped inviting both of us to the same events; score +1 for my parents I guess. I haven't seen those cousins in maybe 3 years.
The closest collision with my uncle was 5 or 6 years ago. My dad was selling a car to him at the house, so my dad ordered me pizza then rushed me upstairs before my uncle got there.
One of my other uncles is dying apparently and I haven't seen him in probably a decade despite growing up seeing him 2 - 3 times a year.
So I just have my siblings and my parents. I see them 2 - 3 times a year for a few days each over the holidays. They send me a text on my birthday, but otherwise we don't really talk about life.
My parents have warmed up over the last 10 years, but when you go through your late teens and 20s thinking you have lost your family, you find another one. I would love to rekindle a good relationship, but I have no idea how or if they're even interested.
5points
#36
I've never gotten a solid explanation since they don't talk to me anymore, but my cousins stopped having anything to do with me as soon as my aunt died. As in literally the day after the funeral. I was very close to my aunt and loved visiting with her, calling her to check in, having her over for dinner, etc., but I always had the distinct impression that my cousins didn't like it for some reason. I didn't understand why since she saw them every week, so it's not like I was taking her away from them or asking her for anything. I never asked my aunt about it since I didn't want to upset her. About a year before she died she told me that I was "one of her own." What a shame that her children never felt the same way.
Report
4points
#37
I can’t tell whether or not I’ve been disowned nor do I care, but I personally have long ago disowned my relatives.
They’re manipulative, racist, a*****e and overall bigoted.
To make a long story short, if they were to disown me it’s because I’m the exact opposite of them.
EDIT: because a lot of weirdos are sending me threatening and harassing messages, I’m black and Irish-Scot. My mum is black, my dad is Irish, I was born in Ireland but moved to Scotland and got citizenship. I am VERY visibly black. Me not supporting my relatives spewing hateful and derogatory slurs at other minorities/PoC doesn’t mean I support “white g******e” or am trying to “erase European beauty standards.” Cease and desist with this b******t. Your racism and saviour complexes are showing.
They’re manipulative, racist, a*****e and overall bigoted.
To make a long story short, if they were to disown me it’s because I’m the exact opposite of them.
EDIT: because a lot of weirdos are sending me threatening and harassing messages, I’m black and Irish-Scot. My mum is black, my dad is Irish, I was born in Ireland but moved to Scotland and got citizenship. I am VERY visibly black. Me not supporting my relatives spewing hateful and derogatory slurs at other minorities/PoC doesn’t mean I support “white g******e” or am trying to “erase European beauty standards.” Cease and desist with this b******t. Your racism and saviour complexes are showing.
4points
#38
Wow, so where to begin...my family is very traditional even for our culture's standards. I grew up thinking that my family was americanized and that the women in my family were shattering the glass ceiling and things couldn't get any better because we were allowed to wear pants, were required to finish high school, allowed to go to college if we had the money ourselves, and we weren't sold off for marriage. My generation even grew up being called and thinking of ourselves as liberated because we had options beyond being housewives. Even though I saw all these things as "amazing freedoms thanks to living an american life" I still wanted more. I wanted to be able to leave the house on my own, I wanted to hang out with friends, I wanted to question things, I wanted to move away, live and work wherever I wanted, and I wanted privacy; even if it was just a lock on a door. So I was a "difficult child" as my family put it, and that turned into being a rebellious teen especially when I started seeing a lot of the other freedoms other girls at my school had. When I turned 18 I was kicked out and by 19 I had met my husband and my family didn't approve. They eventually told me that I can either be allowed back into the family or I can be with him and get disowned. So I chose him and ended up moving across the country without anyone knowing. I didn't hear from my family (except my grandma) for about 2 years, then a family friend I kept in touch with ended up telling my family that my life was going really well. My mom started to contact me when she heard, but it took over 6 years for the rest of my family to even acknowledge that I was even alive. It wasn't until my husband and I hit our 9 year anniversary and my family saw what my husband's competition was, then they started to treat us like people and want to start talking to us and building relations with us. I keep in touch with a few of my family members but I keep them at arm's length. I gave up the possibility of any meaningful family bonds a long time ago and the communication now is mostly surface level cordialness.
Report
4points
#39
I disowned my own family.
My sister and sil hate eachother, we were both in my SILs wedding party and I did ALOT for my Brother and SIL, they had a huge expensive wedding (they couldnt afford) so to help out I bought diapers, formula, clothes, baby food for my nephew so they could have their dream wedding, my sister didnt help one bit. We were told we would be 3rd in line at the wedding, we ended up being the last (6th) in line and my sister and her husband were before us. None of the wedding party helped the way we did or lifted a finger when it came to my nephew (I was off work due to covid and while she was on maternity leave i came over EVERYDAY and spent 7 hours a day for 6 weeks with my newphew so she could get sleep) never a thank you for that or everything we bought him. It was a slap in the f*****g face and I cut my entire family off after this (most agreed we shouldnt b***h about the lineup but i was truly hurt) my SIL said we are "ungrateful they allowed us to be in the wedding" but we spent roughly $800 on formula, diapers, food and clothes for my nephew so they didnt have to worry about that part of finances while planning their wedding. We also spent $800 each (my husband and I) for my dress, his tux, hotel, shuttle, etc. I have not spoken to my family in 7 mos and It has been the BEST 7 mos of my life. I completely see where I stand and how the used me, we also have 2 boys of our own (they didnt go without and we didnt suffer helping them) but they never appreciated a god d**n thing we did.
My sister and sil hate eachother, we were both in my SILs wedding party and I did ALOT for my Brother and SIL, they had a huge expensive wedding (they couldnt afford) so to help out I bought diapers, formula, clothes, baby food for my nephew so they could have their dream wedding, my sister didnt help one bit. We were told we would be 3rd in line at the wedding, we ended up being the last (6th) in line and my sister and her husband were before us. None of the wedding party helped the way we did or lifted a finger when it came to my nephew (I was off work due to covid and while she was on maternity leave i came over EVERYDAY and spent 7 hours a day for 6 weeks with my newphew so she could get sleep) never a thank you for that or everything we bought him. It was a slap in the f*****g face and I cut my entire family off after this (most agreed we shouldnt b***h about the lineup but i was truly hurt) my SIL said we are "ungrateful they allowed us to be in the wedding" but we spent roughly $800 on formula, diapers, food and clothes for my nephew so they didnt have to worry about that part of finances while planning their wedding. We also spent $800 each (my husband and I) for my dress, his tux, hotel, shuttle, etc. I have not spoken to my family in 7 mos and It has been the BEST 7 mos of my life. I completely see where I stand and how the used me, we also have 2 boys of our own (they didnt go without and we didnt suffer helping them) but they never appreciated a god d**n thing we did.
Report
4points
#40
My father was an alcoholic who choose the booze over family and wanted to disown me as soon as he could legally, so that my financial well being wasn’t his problem anymore.
My only memories of him was showing up to supervised visitations and him not showing up 9 out of 10 times.
My only memories of him was showing up to supervised visitations and him not showing up 9 out of 10 times.
Report
4points