Inspired by u/Rare_Can_5418, the members of the world-famous r/AskReddit community opened up about the most difficult truths about life they know that make your life much better. Well, once you’ve accepted them, that is. Scroll down for a bitter but eye-opening dose of wisdom.
We wanted to learn more about facing uncomfortable truths, so we reached out to Jodi Wellman, MAPP, the founder of 'Four Thousand Mondays' and the author of the book 'You Only Die Once: How to Make It to the End with No Regrets.' Wellman shed some light on the so-called 'Big Five existential concerns' human beings have. Read on for the insights she shared with Bored Panda.
According to Wellman, it's natural to be uncomfortable about our temporariness. "Most healthy humans have a strong will to be alive and to stay alive. Knowing we won't be around forever is an admittedly dispiriting notion, even if we aren't consciously aware of this discomfort," she told Bored Panda in an email.
"Researchers have identified the 'Big Five existential concerns' we typically encounter: death, meaninglessness, isolation, freedom, and identity. Many anxieties stem from these hotspots, and being willing to face them—rather than avoid them—can help us live more fully."
#2
- Jean-Luc Picard.
#3
Bored Panda asked Wellman what we can all do to be more open and accepting of the world as it actually is, rather than what we'd prefer it to be like. She explained to us that it's believed that in order for us to reach our full potential, we need to come to terms with those five inescapable parts of the human condition.
"Death awareness can create even deeper meaning and gratitude for the lives we’re fortunate to get to live... even if we'd really rather bury our heads in the sand and not talk about or think about our 'limited time only' situation," she said.
#4
#5
#6
2. Good deeds usually go unrewarded. (If you are doing a good deed for a reward, you are doing it for the wrong reason.)
3. You will never be able to explain anything to someone who is unwilling or unable to listen. (If you try, you will, at minimum, be frustrated and waste your time.).
"Research shows we’re better equipped to handle anxiety and appreciate life by 'trying death on for size' in even these subtle ways; some call it 'practicing death.' How do we do this, this subtle act of dipping our toes into the idea of our mortality? This often looks like:
- Interacting with people who are grieving;
- Pulling over for a funeral procession and imagining our own;
- Coming to terms with smaller losses in our lives—like lost jobs, friendships that fade, fizzled romances, great ideas that died on the vine at work, lost pets, even your basil plant that didn't make it through the season."
#8
#9
Wellman said that these are gentle ways to accept our mortality. These don't involve having to personalize the experience. "We might not 'warm up' to the idea of our finitude, but we can definitely take the chill off the unfortunate truth of it all."
Being aware of our mortality can help us appreciate life more and live courageously. You can use the calculator on the 'Four Thousand Mondays' website to see how many Mondays you probably have left to enjoy. (Trust us, it's a good jolt to get us doing what we've always wanted to do.) Meanwhile, be sure to also take a peek at Wellman's book, 'You Only Die Once: How to Make It to the End with No Regrets.'
#10
#11
This is the best and worst news of all time.
Nobody, outside a few close people, is thinking about you other than in passing. They’re all the main character in their movie. A few years after you die, the world will mostly forget you. This is bad news.
It’s also very freeing. Throw off your worry and your shame. Live life to the fullest! You’re free from the judgement of people who don’t have time to care. This is amazing news.
The sooner you accept it, the better your life will be.
#12
A definite bolt from the blue for some is the fact that exercise and nutritious dieting—while absolutely essential—are far from enough to live a long, happy, and healthy life. To put it bluntly, if you ignore your relationships and your social life is in tatters, your physical, mental, and emotional health is at risk.
Social fitness is just as (and arguably even more) important than physical fitness.
The CDC reports that a third of adults in the United States report feeling lonely. Meanwhile, a quarter of American adults report not having social and emotional support. There’s a social isolation and loneliness epidemic in the US, and it’s a problem that’s very worth solving.
#14
The impact of social isolation and loneliness is massive. To be very blunt, it greatly reduces the quality of your life and increases the chance of an earlier death.
Socially isolated and lonely individuals have a greater chance of getting heart disease, stroke, type 2 diabetes, depression, anxiety, and dementia, among other illnesses and conditions.
#16
#17
There will still be people in your life to lean on, but everyone has their limits in how they can help you. .
#18
The people most at risk of social isolation and loneliness tend to have chronic diseases, psychiatric conditions, or long-term disabilities. Other at-risk groups include the marginalized and discriminated against, people who live in rural areas, those with limited transportation, and anyone who can’t speak the local language.
Other folks affected by social isolation include those who have lost a loved one, are unemployed, or are facing a divorce. Older adults, people living alone, and low-income individuals are also at risk.