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"The key to a civil breakup is rooted in two core principles: personal responsibility (avoiding blame or victimization) and compassionate respect," Moshe Ratson, MBA, MFT, a psychotherapist and executive coach from NYC, told Bored Panda.
Ratson specializes in personal and professional development, anger management, emotional intelligence, infidelity issues, and couples and marriage therapy, and said that when people are getting ready to end things, they should approach the conversation with honesty, empathy, and clarity.
"[This] allows both partners to express feelings openly and respectfully. By acknowledging the relationship's value and accepting that pain is natural—but suffering optional—you foster emotional maturity, reduce resentment, and create space for genuine closure."
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However, we sometimes end our relationships in ways that make the experience messier than it could be. Ratson, author of the book Anger Is Your Compass: Harness the Wisdom of Anger and Transform Your Life, said, "A breakup becomes more difficult than necessary when couples engage in blame, defensiveness, or avoid taking personal responsibility for their own feelings and choices.
"Additional complications arise from poor communication, unresolved resentments, denial of emotions, or attempts to avoid discomfort. When partners lack empathy, self-awareness, and emotional maturity, they prolong suffering, complicate closure, and deepen pain beyond what is inevitable," the psychotherapist added.
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Of course, we all process our emotions differently. But for many, the healing also includes a lot of cleaning—physical and, even more so, digital.
A YouGov survey found that immediately after a breakup, people change the account passwords that their ex might have access to (45%), return the ex's possessions (44%), unfollow their ex on social media (25%), delete all photos from social media that include them with their ex (25%), and update their relationship status on social media (25%).
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44% of respondents said they are not friends with any of their exes, 37% said they are friends with some, and 17% said they are friends with all of them.
However, we need to be careful or at least stay mindful of our feelings even when we think all we want is just one more night for old times' sake.
"While there's no one-size-fits-all answer, hooking up with an ex after a breakup typically complicates emotional boundaries and delays healing," Ratson explained. "Though it may offer short-term comfort, it often reignites unresolved feelings, creates confusion, and prolongs emotional attachment.
"For it to be constructive, both individuals must genuinely agree on clear boundaries and expectations, free from hidden motives. Ultimately, I advise my clients to carefully consider whether their actions align with their long-term well-being and relationship goals," he said.
Maybe sometimes sharing a silly joke on the internet is all you need.
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