It’s an awful feeling when someone uses your property without your permission. But it feels even worse if you come back to find your things broken… and you footing the entire bill.
That’s what happened to redditor u/hometowngirll, who turned to the AITA online community to hear their collective wisdom. The OP shared how her neighbor’s kid broke her laptop. However, despite having film evidence of this, the dad still refused to pay up for the damages. You’ll find the full story in the redditor’s own words as you scroll down below.
Bored Panda reached out to parenting blogger Samantha Scroggin, who runs 'Walking Outside in Slippers,' for some advice on teaching kids to respect other people's property and privacy. She was kind enough to share some practical tips and tricks for parents, and also stressed the importance of personal space.
A laptop is an expensive piece of equipment, so it's a huge deal if someone breaks it
Image credits: Bored Panda (not the actual photo)
A high school student shared how she tried to get her neighbor to pay for the damage that his kid caused
Image credits: Gabby Orcutt (not the actual photo)
Image credits: hometowngirll
The dad was thoroughly unwilling to cooperate
The high schooler was doing her homework out on the deck of her parents’ house. She went inside to get some water, but when she came back, she saw her laptop broken. The neighbor’s kid had gotten inside their yard and was running around everywhere.
The situation seems pretty clear-cut. Especially since the OP has video proof of what happened. However, despite all of this, the kid’s dad refused to pay for the damages. Meanwhile, the redditor’s own parents thought that she shouldn’t keep on pestering the man to cover the costs of a new laptop. They said that they’d pay for a new one, using part of the OP’s college fund.
Naturally, most readers were on the student’s side. A few of them had some very practical advice for her, including that she should take the neighbor to a small claims court about the incident. Others pointed out that it’s not negligence if someone leaves a laptop temporarily unattended on their own property.
It's absolutely essential to have evidence of the damage done
Though going to court is almost a surefire way to win in this case, it’s always worth trying more diplomatic approaches before resorting to legal help. At the end of the day, if you have a dispute with your neighbor, however that argument might end, you’ll still have to live next to them. (Well, unless you or they move elsewhere.) And living next to someone who hates your guts and is looking to make your life hell isn’t the way to go. There’s enough stress in life as it is.
When you realize that your property has been damaged, one of the first things that you should do is document all of the evidence.
“Evaluate the damage you find and prepare an accurate description of what exactly occurred. Photos of the damage should be part of your documentation. Be sure to include the date and any incidents that took place before the damage appeared. If someone witnessed the damage, get a statement,” The Holm Group explains what you should do in a situation such as this.
Next, you should get in touch with your neighbor. Though it’s possible that they might have damaged your property intentionally, there’s always the possibility that they’re not even aware that something bad has happened. Say, if their child broke something while sneaking into a nearby yard.
If your neighbor is reasonable, they'll look for a compromise with you
If you’re on good terms, talk to your neighbor in person. Otherwise, send them a complaint in writing, to make it more official. The important thing is that you remain calm, cool, and collected. The more polite and professional you act, the more likely you are to get what you want.
You want to appear firm but reasonable as you enforce your boundaries. That way, your neighbor won’t get all defensive or feel offended. Your goal, essentially, is to find some sort of compromise that works for both of you, not to prove to them that you’re so right and they’re so wrong. How you word your complaints, the tone you use, your body language—like it or not, they all matter.
Show your neighbor the damage and the evidence, and explain the situation. However, if they ignore you or refuse to cooperate, you could ask someone to step in to mediate the conflict. Say, the head of the local homeowners association or a property manager. Obviously, if that goes nowhere as well, you may have to resort to filing a court complaint, as well as filing a complaint with your insurance company. The more you know about the local laws, the better off you’ll be.
"I would demand that they take immediate responsibility and go apologize for what they did"
"When teaching my kids about respecting the belongings of others, the golden rule definitely applies. Would they want their belongings stolen or damaged? With the answer being no, they should respect the personal property of other people," Samantha, from 'Walking Outside in Slippers,' explained the approach in her family.
"Aside from just items, my husband and I teach our kids about respecting the privacy and personal space of other people. When we are at restaurants, we scold our kids if they peek over into someone else's table or point at anyone," she said.
"We live in a two-story house that has a view from upstairs of our neighbor's yard, and they can see into our yard. We've had to remind our kids on numerous occasions to put clothes on outside and not just run around in their underwear. My kids are naturally friendly and outgoing, so they need reminders about setting boundaries and not talking to strangers unless they're with a trusted adult."
Samantha also shared her thoughts on what a parent should do if they find out that their child has broken something that belongs to a neighbor.
"If one of my children were to break something that belongs to a neighbor, I would demand that they take immediate responsibility and go apologize for what they did," the author of the witty and honest 'Walking Outside in Slippers' blog explained the best way to react.
"They would need to apologize and replace the item if possible even if the breaking happened by mistake. That's just common courtesy and human decency."
Some readers discussed the situation with the student, offering her advice
Most internet users thought that the teenager was completely in the right
Some readers, however, thought that the entire drama could have been handled much better
