Living under the same roof with adult children, or at least teenagers, is a real test for parents. Suffice it to remember this mom, who once issued an ultimatum to her household, refusing to do anything around the house until they cleaned up the pigsty that had been made in the house during just a few days of her absence on a business trip. And there are actually many such stories.
The user u/ericskeith5 was no exception, whose recent story in the AITA Reddit community received more than 15.5K upvotes and about 5K different comments. Apparently, the original poster definitely struck a chord with many readers, so the discussion turned out to be vivid and memorable. In general, it's time to get to know the heroes of the story better!
The author of the post is a 54 Y.O. divorced man and he has a 19 Y.O. daughter
Image credits: Karolina Grabowska (not the actual photo)
This summer the girl stayed at dad's house recovering from her knee surgery
Image credits: ericskeith5
One day the man found an open package of tampons in the bathroom and asked his daughter to always throw them into the trash bin
Image credits: Miriam Alonso (not the actual photo)
Image credits: ericskeith5
However, the daughter said that she flushes them into the toilet, arguing that her dad understands nothing about tampons
Image credits: Steve Baker (not the actual photo)
Image credits: ericskeith5
Then the man told her there are numerous notices in public places urging people to act exactly as he says
Image credits: tengrrl (not the actual photo)
Image credits: ericskeith5
It all ended in the dad saying the daughter would pay the plumber bill if the drain gets clogged
Image credits: Eric E Castro (not the actual photo)
Image credits: ericskeith5
The daughter got offended and said that the dad was acting just like her mom
So, the Original Poster (OP) is 54 years old, divorced from his wife, and this summer, before heading off to college, his 19-year-old daughter spent a few weeks at her dad's house recovering from knee surgery. In his own words, dad helped his daughter with food, icing, transportation and whatnot.
It should be noted here that in recent years, the girl mainly lived with her mother, so sharing one roof with an already adult daughter became a real test for the man. For example, regarding sanitary tampons. One day, going into the bathroom, the author of the post found an open package of tampons there. During the conversation, it turned out that the girl was flushing the used hygiene products into the toilet, and her father gently asked her not to do that again.
Firstly, right next to the toilet in the bathroom there was a large trash can without a lid, literally at arm's length, so there is no problem in throwing a tampon there. Secondly, the original poster has heard more than once how tampons and other hygiene products clog the drains - so in almost any public place, there are notices in the toilets asking you to throw everything in the trash bin.
Of course, the girl did not listen to her dad, and a heated debate broke out between them, with the daughter’s main argument being “you’re a man and you don’t understand anything about tampons!” To this, the OP quite reasonably objected that he understands plumber bills well, and that the authors of the mentioned notices in multiple public places probably understand both the first and the second.
Word for word - and the man issued a real ultimatum to his daughter. If she wants to keep throwing her tampons down the toilet, let her do it. But if as a result the plumbing system gets clogged, then she, and only she, will have to pay the plumber bill. The girl, of course, got offended and finally told her father that he was being “just like mom.”
Image credits: Ben Baligad (not the actual photo)
Okay, let's ask firsthand. In the process of preparing this post, I decided to clarify the facts from three sources at once: my wife, a plumber I know personally, and directly reading the instructions on the boxes of tampons.
The results were quite predictable: my wife said that she always throws sanitary products in the trash bin, and the packaging of three of the four different brands of tampons that I looked at in the nearest store (perhaps I looked pretty weird - a middle-aged man in spectacles carefully reading the tiny letters on the box with tampons, but anyway...) read that you should not flush tampons down the toilet.
However, based on a telephone convo with a plumber, it turned out that not everyone reads the instructions. At least the guy said that drain clogs caused by tampons are not that rare. I wanted to conduct an experiment at our home, but my wife was flatly against it, while the plumber said that, of course, he respected my tendency to test everything in practice, but I would still have to pay to eliminate the consequences of the experiment.
“It seems to me that the main issue here is not so much hygiene, but an unconscious desire to resist the father’s demands,” says Irina Matveeva, a psychologist and certified NLP specialist, whom Bored Panda also asked for a comment here. “After all, nineteen years is literally the height of the period of growing up, and sometimes even the most innocent requests from parents are often met with obvious rejection from their growing children.”
“Plus, you need to take into account that the parents, apparently, have been divorced for a long time, and the girl mainly lived with her mother. Subconsciously, this may also have some influence on her perception of her dad’s words, no matter how good their relationship was. However, the latter remark about the fact that dad is behaving exactly like mom seems to bring us back to the issue of hygiene..." Irina smiles.
As for the people in the comments to the original post, the vast majority, both men and women, unanimously supported the original poster, arguing that tampons should definitely be thrown in the trash bin - especially since, as the author claims, it is fully accessible in bathroom. "Tell her to take a tampon and leave it in a large bowl of water for a few hours. When it expands to a massive size, tell her that is what it is doing inside of the plumbing system," one of the commenters wrote.
And now we are looking forward to your comments on the debate about how to properly throw away hygiene products, and on the behavior of the heroes of this tale as well.
However, commenters unanimously sided with the author, stating that they also try to always throw their hygiene products in the trash
Navigating adulthood under a single roof is challenging, especially for caregivers and young adults alike. Much like the frustration experienced when a partner fails to offer simple support, as mentioned in the previous article, it's crucial to foster understanding between family members. By establishing mutual respect, minor disagreements like the one experienced about hygiene practices could be easily resolved.
For instance, a willingness to openly communicate could prevent misunderstandings like those seen in scenarios where support is asked for but not given.