The acceptance of LGBTQ+ folks varies significantly across different cultures and societies; hence, for most, coming out is a tricky and incredibly personal experience.
This dad, on the other hand, didn’t make a big deal out of his daughter’s announcement because he’s a true believer in “love is love”; yet, his wife thinks that he might’ve underreacted.
23-year-old comes out to parents and introduces her girlfriend at family dinner
Image credits: Pavel Danilyuk (not the actual photo)
Mom got teary-eyed with pride; however, despite being happy for their kid, the dad remained nonchalant
Image credits: cottonbro studio (not the actual photo)
Image source: u/Ok_Translator1301
“AITA for not having much of a reaction to my daughter coming out and introducing us to her partner?” – this father took to one of Reddit’s most judgmental communities, asking its members if his toned-down reaction to his daughter’s announcement was indeed unfit. The post managed to garner nearly 15K upvotes as well as 2.4K comments discussing the situation.
Every one of us would like to believe that our parents only want the best for us and that their love is unconditional; however, life, at times, can be pretty disappointing, and you grow to learn that your folks’ love indeed turns out to be subject to specific terms.
Outdated cultural and religious beliefs, a lack of education and awareness, social norms and peer pressure, historical stigma, stereotypes – there are a million and one reasons why people are unable to accept that everyone deserves love and that it’s a basic human right.
To give you a more illustrative example of how devastating it truly is, Just Like Us, a UK-based charity that was founded to support youngsters in the LGBTQ+ community, discovered that “almost half of LGBT+ young adults (46%) are estranged from at least one family member and a third (31%) are ‘not confident’ that their parent/guardian will accept them.”
Thankfully, our modern world has made immense progress in advocating for LGBTQ+ rights and acceptance – and people, perhaps sometimes slowly but definitely surely, have started to realize that the only thing that should concern them about their offspring’s romantic life is that they’re happy and safe.
The author of today’s story, a father to a 23-year-old, falls under this exact category, and he wasn’t really that expressive about his daughter coming out and introducing him to her girlfriend, as he only cared about his kiddo being happy. His wife, on the contrary, thought that his reaction was way too mellow and essentially drove him up the wall about it!
At least it came from a good heart, eh? A tad aggressive, but from a good heart.
The woman dubbed her husband’s reaction “rude” and even considered his view “slightly homophobic”
Image credits: Nikolas Noonan (not the actual photo)
Now, to delve deeper into the topic and explore the viewpoints of LGBTQ+ individuals themselves, Bored Panda got in touch with a couple of content creators: Whitney and Megan, or as they are known on the internet – Wegan, are wife and wife and award-winning LGBTQ+ social media influencers and fertility equality activists who use their social platforms to showcase their love and break down stereotypes. Stefan and Sebastien are a gay couple of almost 15 years who travel the world and blog about it on their travel website, Nomadic Boys!
First things first, we pondered what to do and not to do when your child comes out to you: “Acknowledge that your child has come out in a way that is authentic to you and your relationship with your child. Let them know that you accept and love them. If your immediate reaction is a negative one or shock, tell your child you still love them and that hasn’t changed but you just need some time to process it.
We both came out at around 15/16 years of age, and while both our dads were fine, similarly not much of a reaction, both our mums reacted homophobically. Which was not great! It took them a long time to come around and accept it. Thankfully they now fully embrace us and our wives as if it’s like their own daughter,” said Megan and Whitney.
Stefan and Sebastien also answered the question: “The most important thing is to start from beforehand and make it clear to your child from a young age that you love them no matter what. Simply saying this to your child from a younger age means the child can grow up knowing ‘Yeah, my parents will be cool if I’m not straight.’ We didn’t have that growing up. We grew up in a very heteronormative environment where anything different from this was considered wrong/an illness.
So the hard work starts well before your child approaches you to come out.
Then when your child does come out to you, you need to listen, be calm, listen, have open body language, and be sure to repeat that you love your child no matter what and you’ll always have their back.”
Which prompted the man to take it online to find out if his minimal reaction was indeed unfit
Image credits: fauxels (not the actual photo)
Last but certainly not least, BP wondered about the couples’ takes on the original poster’s reaction: “We do not think it is wrong, as it seems a natural reaction from the dad that the daughter would expect. If he jumped up to hug her, it may have been strange for him to do so. However, by not acknowledging it at all, you would have no idea what he is thinking and the non-response would usually indicate not wanting to say hurtful things. A simple ‘happy for you both and welcome to the family’ would have sufficed,” shared Megan and Whitney.
“He was quite clear that he was supportive but was showing a normal parental concern that the partner is worthy of their child. There is nothing wrong or homophobic about that. If anything, it shows the parent loves their child and has their back,” Stefan and Sebastien noted.
So, Pandas, after going through the story and hearing out some opinions from our lovely interviewees, what do you reckon? Do you think the OP’s reaction was unfit?
Fellow online community members shared their thoughts and opinions on the situation
