"She Manipulates You In Small Ways": TikTokers Split The Internet After Revealing 3 Major Red Flags In Women

People often choose partners based on attraction. Whether it’s the color of her eyes or his care for the elderly, every person has features others might find appealing. Equally important, each of us has flaws and weaknesses, too. That is why evaluating both sides of the coin is important when looking for the happily ever after.

A famous personal coach, writer, and content creator, David De Las Morenas, and his wife Julia discussed the less romanticized characteristics of a partner on TikTok. In a video that went viral, they shared insight on three things they considered red flags in women and expanded on how they can affect a couple’s relationship. After attracting over 700k views, the video sparked a buzz online and got people falling into two camps about it.

"If you're hanging out with a girl and you notice that she never says thank you when you pay for the bill, or just to say that she appreciates you, you gotta move on. She's not gonna change, and then you're gonna end up resenting her."

"Aside from some very rare scenarios when a guy and a girl are talking, it is not platonic."

"And even if she's not interested in him, he's probably interested in her and then she likes having that validation. The point is, if a girl has male friends that she regularly sees or even just texts with, that's the type of girl who's always gonna have one foot out the door in a relationship."

"If you've already hung out with a girl a few times and she's still down to keep hanging out, but she will literally never text you first, she's low-key trying to force and maintain this dynamic where you're the one who's gonna be chasing her forever."

"When she uses the line, 'guys I've seen in the past would never do that,' she's making you feel bad for whatever boundary you're trying to set with her by talking about guys she's seen in the past. She's trying to force you to be jealous."

Each individual boasts a set of characteristics, some of which might be unfavorable, if not harmful, especially when it comes to relationships. Such traits can cause difficulties in forming a connection, trying to coexist, or building trust. This is likely the reason they're compared to a red flag—a bright and noticeable warning sign.

We discussed this topic with a certified love life strategist, dating and relationship expert—Lisa Concepcion. When talking about how red flags change our perception of a potential partner, she expanded: “When a person notices red flags, it makes them pay close attention to things that might be problematic. Say, for example, a woman gets drunk on a date, or a man explodes in anger at another driver while they are driving, these red flags may lead to the decision to end things, especially if they are deal breakers.”

“Someone who grew up with a parent who was an alcoholic might see excessive drinking as a very important red flag. Red flags have to do with our boundaries and standards. They are necessary to keep ourselves safe,” Lisa added.

The significance of the troubling attributes differs depending on the person. For some, a red flag can be something as mundane as not doing the dishes right after dinner. Others, on the other hand, might be oblivious to any form of misconduct until they’re in actual danger themselves. No matter the case, such features might determine the end of a relationship, therefore, they should be mulled over beforehand.

Lisa told Bored Panda: “It's important that people are very clear about what they want in a relationship and what they won't tolerate before they enter a relationship. It's very good to get very clear on what red flags are. For some people, a red flag is a sloppy car, a messy home. Red flags vary from person to person but they should NEVER be ignored.”

A study of possible dealbreakers among American students distinguished the following six characteristics as the main red flags—gross, addicted, clingy, promiscuous, apathetic, and unmotivated. This proves that in most cases, it doesn’t have to be groundbreaking atrocities; sometimes a red flag can be something as casual as bad manners or clingy nature.

Similar arguably insignificant daily occurrences were discussed in David De Las Morenas’ TikTok video. He is a known personal coach and author of empowering books on mindset and healthy lifestyle. He is also the founder of www.HowToBeast.com, dedicated to helping men work on their physical and mental health.

The first red flag mentioned in David’s viral video—not expressing gratitude often enough—might not seem like a huge problem at first; however, according to the video, it may eventually cause resentment. This bitter state can eradicate compassion, which, as told in Psychology Today, is the bloodline of relationships. At times, a lack of compassion can lead to apathy—one of the six aforementioned red flags in interpersonal communication.

The second low-key red flag, according to David, is women having friends of the opposite sex. Related to validation and receiving attention from male friends, this somewhat commonplace situation does not provide a solid ground for a devoted relationship and enables the girl to feel halfway out of it at any given time.

A survey carried out in Great Britain suggests that only 6% of respondents would agree with a similar statement. The vast majority of them (84%) say that a platonic friendship is possible between heterosexual women and men. It shows that red flags are a highly subjective matter and opinions might differ depending on personal experiences or views. The third red flag discussed in David’s video—small-scale manipulation—is likely to cause less division, as most people usually expect to be treated fairly in any relationship.

Dating expert Lisa Concepcion emphasized the importance of being fair to yourself. She shared advice for people who start seeing red flags in their partner: “Honor yourself. You want what you want for a reason. Red flags are never to be ignored. When you observe a red flag and mention it to the other person, they might try to make an excuse. Watch their actions. If you mention that excessive drinking is a red flag and they stop drinking, then you've influenced them in a positive way. But... if they have a drinking problem you probably won't be able to change that behavior and it's best to end the relationship.”