135 Dark Jokes That'll Make You Feel Guilty For Laughing

Top-Tier Shadow Laughs

1. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field. It's a shame about the crops, though.
2. My boss told me to have a good day, so I went home.
3. I have a fear of speed bumps, but I'm slowly getting over it.
4. Parallel lines have so much in common. It’s a shame they’ll never meet.
5. When I see the names of lovers engraved on a tree, I don’t find it cute or romantic. I find it weird how many people take knives with them on dates.

Bent Comedy Gems

1. What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? The wheelchair.
2. Life is like a box of chocolates. It doesn’t last long if you're overweight.
3. I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.
4. I threw a boomerang a few years ago; I know live in constant fear.
5. My grief counselor died. He was so good, I didn’t even care.

Funny Dark Humor Jokes

These pocket-sized punchlines pack a wallop of clever and edgy humor in just a few words. You might be unable to suppress your laugh at these short dark humor jokes with no limits. They challenge the convention and dare you to chuckle at life’s darkest absurdities.

However, if you are looking for even more macabre humor, we’ve got plenty more prepared for you. So go ahead, and laugh at these morbid jokes. Promise we won’t tell anyone!

1. What's yellow and can't swim? A bus full of children.
2. I used to have an open mind, but my brains kept falling out.
3. Why don’t cannibals eat clowns? Because they taste funny.
4. Want to know how you make any salad into a Caesar salad? Stab it twenty-three times.
5. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

Dark Dad Jokes

Universally, dads seem to have nailed a joke formula that can both delight and embarrass family members simultaneously. But sometimes they dangle at the edge of darkness that may make you go, “Whoa, that was savage!” These dark-humored dad jokes take a deliciously dark turn!

1. When does a joke become a dad joke? When it leaves you and never comes back.
2. A man walks into an enchanted forest and tries to cut down a tree. “Don’t cut me down,” the tree exclaims, “I’m a talking tree!” The man says, “You may be a talking tree, but you will dialogue.”
3. Why did Grandma miss the funeral? She wasn’t a mourning person.

Dark Humor Knock Knock Jokes

These dark humor knock-knock jokes delve into the macabre, the absurd, and the taboo with a devilish sense of humor. These knock-knock jokes may make you chuckle and squirm at the same time. Guessing what lurks behind that imaginary door? Let us tell you.

1. Knock! Knock! “Who’s there?” Lettuce. “Lettuce who?” Please let us out of the basement.
2. Knock! Knock! “Who’s there?” Dwayne. “Dwayne, who?” Dwayne the bathtub, I’m drowning. 
3. Knock! Knock! “Who’s there?” Howie. “Howie, who?” Howie gonna hide this body?!
4. Knock! Knock! “Who’s there?” Control Freak. Okay, now you say, "Control Freak, who?"

Gut-Buster Shadows

1. My grandfather has the heart of a lion… And a lifetime ban from the zoo.
2. What do you call a magic dog? A labracadabrador.
3. They say money talks, but mine just waves goodbye.
4. I was addicted to hokey pokey… but thankfully, I turned myself around.
5. If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving is not for you.