Let’s be honest: dark humor jokes are not for everyone. Not for every place, either. You have to be able to read the room almost perfectly to get the best reaction to these twisted jokes.
If you’re looking for something slightly lighter (but still edgy), you might want to check out our adult jokes or some long ones that take time to get to the punchline.
Don’t go around strangers cracking dark jokes. You never know the person's backstory or how they will react to your dark, no-limits humor.
But if you’re in a circle of close friends who you know are open to this kind of humor, crack away! And if you're short on time or height, our short people jokes might also make you laugh.
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Comment from Dr. Sarah Meehan O’Callaghan
Dark humour can be good subversive fun, but there is more to it than meets the eye. Jokes serve a deeper psychological purpose.
In Jokes and Their Relation to the Unconscious, Sigmund Freud analysed jokes and humour from the perspective of the unconscious. Simply put, the unconscious is that unknown part of ourselves that contains desires, feelings, and thoughts that often oppose our conscious, seemingly rational selves.
These ‘desires’ or ‘truths’ can be repressed and emerge in slips of the tongue, dreams, and jokes. Jokes often release something hidden, a truth that cannot be told in the cold light of day. Humour acts like a veil for us to disguise our true motivation.
Freud also said that neurotics tell the best jokes. That should give us pause for thought the next time we want to make a dark joke! - Dr. Sarah Meehan O’Callaghan
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This type of humor can really make your stomach hurt. A dark joke can consist of many things, and you can flavor it to fit any occasion.
Some of them are straight-up offensive jokes, others can involve a gut-bending plot twist. For text-based humor, check out funny text jokes for adults, or add charm with flirt or Bible jokes if you're feeling brave.
Best Dark Jokes Picked by Our Community
If you are looking for the best dark jokes to tell your friends, we’ve got you covered. The Bored Panda community voted for and picked the very best ones. Hence, we’re confident that the first ten entries on this list can be dubbed the top 10 dark humor jokes on the internet.
And if you enjoy pushing the envelope a little further, our collection of dirty jokes is where crude meets clever, one-liners that earn the laugh through setup, not just shock.
#1 Footwork for Fresh Dirt
I was digging in our garden when I found a chest full of gold coins. I was about to run straight home to tell my wife about it, but then I remembered why I was digging in our garden.
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646points
#2 Final Exit Strategy
My elderly relatives liked to tease me at weddings, saying, “You’ll be next!” They soon stopped though, once I started doing the same to them at funerals.
unknown
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#3 Paws Off, I\'m Napping
My girlfriend’s dog died, so I tried to cheer her up by getting her an identical one. It just made her more upset. She screamed at me and said, “What am I supposed to do with two dead dogs?”
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621points
Top-Tier Shadow Laughs
- Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field. It's a shame about the crops, though.
- My boss told me to have a good day, so I went home.
- I have a fear of speed bumps, but I'm slowly getting over it.
- Parallel lines have so much in common. It’s a shame they’ll never meet.
- When I see the names of lovers engraved on a tree, I don’t find it cute or romantic. I find it weird how many people take knives with them on dates.
#4 Love Left Its Mark
When I see the names of lovers engraved on a tree, I don't find it cute or romantic. I find it weird how many people take knives with them on dates.
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606points
#5 Fuel to Your Inner Fire
I hate double standards. Burn a body at a crematorium, you're "being a respectful friend." Do it at home and you're "destroying evidence."
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590points
#6 Sunny Spot, No Filters
Today I decided to go visit my childhood home. I asked the residents if I could come inside because I was feeling nostalgic, but they refused and slammed the door on my face. My parents are the worst.
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513points
Bent Comedy Gems
- What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? The wheelchair.
- Life is like a box of chocolates. It doesn’t last long if you're overweight.
- I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.
- I threw a boomerang a few years ago; I know live in constant fear.
- My grief counselor died. He was so good, I didn’t even care.
#7
When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car.
Will Rogers
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#8 Packed and Ready Vibes
My husband is mad that I have no sense of direction. So I packed up my stuff and right.
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500points
#9 Midair Meeting Vibes
You don’t need a parachute to go skydiving. You need a parachute to go skydiving twice.
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499points
#10 Chasing Invisible Magic
I'd like to have kids one day. I don't think I could stand them any longer than that, though.
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486points
Funny Dark Humor Jokes
These pocket-sized punchlines pack a wallop of clever and edgy humor in just a few words. You might be unable to suppress your laugh at these short dark humor jokes with no limits. They challenge the convention and dare you to chuckle at life’s darkest absurdities.
However, if you are looking for even more macabre humor, we’ve got plenty more prepared for you. So go ahead, and laugh at these morbid jokes. Promise we won’t tell anyone!
- What's yellow and can't swim? A bus full of children.
- I used to have an open mind, but my brains kept falling out.
- Why don’t cannibals eat clowns? Because they taste funny.
- Want to know how you make any salad into a Caesar salad? Stab it twenty-three times.
- Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
#11 Serious About The Details
The doctor gave me one year to live, so I shot him. The judge gave me 15 years. Problem solved.
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476points
#12 Early Morning Stakes
Two hunters are in the woods when one of them collapses. His hunting buddy immediately calls 911. "My friend isn't breathing," he shouts into the phone. "What should I do?" "Relax," the operator tells him. "I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There's silence, and then a gunshot. The guy gets back on the phone and says, "OK, now what?"
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461points
#13 Lost in Thought Forest
A guy walks with a young boy into the woods. The boy turns to him and says, "Hey mister, it's getting really dark and I'm scared." The man replies, "How do you think I feel? I have to walk back alone."
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458points
Dark Dad Jokes
Universally, dads seem to have nailed a joke formula that can both delight and embarrass family members simultaneously. But sometimes they dangle at the edge of darkness that may make you go, “Whoa, that was savage!” These dark-humored dad jokes take a deliciously dark turn!
- When does a joke become a dad joke? When it leaves you and never comes back.
- A man walks into an enchanted forest and tries to cut down a tree. “Don’t cut me down,” the tree exclaims, “I’m a talking tree!” The man says, “You may be a talking tree, but you will dialogue.”
- Why did Grandma miss the funeral? She wasn’t a mourning person.
#14 Multi-Screen Mode Activated
My wife told me she'll slam my head on the keyboard if I don't get off the computer. I'm not too worried, I think she's jokinlkjhfakljn m,.nbziyoao78yv87dfaoyuofaytdf.
unknown
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#15 Hands-On with Glue
The other day, my wife asked me to pass her lipstick but I accidentally passed her a glue stick. She still isn't talking to me.
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441points
#16 Edge of Curiosity
I just read that someone in London gets stabbed every 52 seconds. Poor guy.
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410points
Dark Humor Knock Knock Jokes
These dark humor knock-knock jokes delve into the macabre, the absurd, and the taboo with a devilish sense of humor. These knock-knock jokes may make you chuckle and squirm at the same time. Guessing what lurks behind that imaginary door? Let us tell you.
- Knock! Knock! “Who’s there?” Lettuce. “Lettuce who?” Please let us out of the basement.
- Knock! Knock! “Who’s there?” Dwayne. “Dwayne, who?” Dwayne the bathtub, I’m drowning.
- Knock! Knock! “Who’s there?” Howie. “Howie, who?” Howie gonna hide this body?!
- Knock! Knock! “Who’s there?” Control Freak. Okay, now you say, "Control Freak, who?"
#17 Unexpected Throne Vibes
What is the worst combination of illnesses? Alzheimer’s and diarrhea. You’re running but can’t remember where.
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402points
#18 Peeling Back Reality
Turns out a major new study recently found that humans eat more bananas than monkeys. It’s true. I can’t remember the last time I ate a monkey.
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391points
#19
I've asked so many people what LGBTQ stands for. So far no one has given me a straight answer.
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370points
#20 Old School Playground Vibes
A son tells his father, "I have an imaginary girlfriend." The father sighs and says, "You know, you could do better." "Thanks Dad," the son says. The father shakes his head and goes, "I was talking to your girlfriend."
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365points
Gut-Buster Shadows
- My grandfather has the heart of a lion… And a lifetime ban from the zoo.
- What do you call a magic dog? A labracadabrador.
- They say money talks, but mine just waves goodbye.
- I was addicted to hokey pokey… but thankfully, I turned myself around.
- If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving is not for you.