Lots of little girls dream about walking down the aisle with their fathers. Reddit user GooseHeadGoose and her dad did too. But not anymore. Her recent post on the popular subreddit 'Am I the [Jerk]?' has been causing quite a stir, as the bride-to-be seeks advice on her decision to un-invite her father (and his girlfriend) to her big day.
The reason for this drastic action was the couple's request that the wedding is entirely vegan, which the woman felt was an unreasonable demand.
This woman was heartbroken upon uninviting her dad from her wedding
Image credits: ASphotostudio (not the actual photo)
But the man's girlfriend had convinced him that his daughter was draining him financially, and unfortunately, the bride-to-be saw no other choice
Image credits: bialasiewicz (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Rawpixel (not the actual photo)
Image credits: u/gooseheadgoose
Traditionally, uninviting a wedding guest is considered poor taste but when someone is making your big day miserable, there's not much else you can do
According to the Brides American Wedding Study, parents cover between 35 and 42 percent of the cost of their children's weddings.
If they are following tradition, the groom's family is traditionally responsible for the bride's engagement ring and wedding ring(s), all groom attire, groomsmen gifts, boutonnieres, and corsages for the appropriate wedding party and family members, the officiant's fee, the marriage license, rehearsal dinner costs and transportation and lodging for the groom's family and groomsmen.
Image credits: metod_ma (not the actual photo)
Even if they're the main contributor to the budget
The bride's family is expected to bear the brunt of the expenses including the wedding dress, bridesmaids' gifts (bridesmaids are still expected to buy their own dresses), the wedding planner or coordinator, the invitations, the flowers, the wedding reception, photography, the groom's wedding ring, music, any pre-wedding day meals for the wedding party and transportation and lodging for the bride's family and bridesmaids, as well as transportation for wedding guests, if needed.
However, since GooseHeadGoose's dad wanted to cover the entire bill, she and her partner now have to restructure the whole budget.
Image credits: YuriArcursPeopleimages (not the actual photo)
Parents often control their children's wedding planning
Sadly, this conflict isn't a standalone case. According to a Zola survey, 53 percent of couples feel their parents are the biggest cause of stress during the run-up to the wedding (33% think it's their in-laws).
If the mom and dad are financing their child's wedding, they believe they believe they're buying themselves a say in the planning too.
"Communication is everything!" wedding therapist, Landis Bejar, LMHC, told Brides. "So many family arguments come down to lack of or miscommunication—we assume people's feelings and intentions, and we let them fester in our minds. Talking it through with that person almost always alleviates the stress [because] we're often more aligned than we think, or things aren’t nearly as bad as our imagination would have us believe."
Getting everyone on the same page right from the get-go is generally the best way to avoid butting heads when you're in the thick of planning. But as we've just read, not everyone is willing to compromise.
But the overwhelming majority of people think this father has gone way too far
