While there’s no arguing that every dad is different in their own very unique way, there’s also no debate that all fathers have common similarities, too. In fact, those are not even similarities - those are interchangeable attributes that make one a father. And no, we’re not talking about the unconditional love they have for their kids - that would be too obvious - we’re talking about other smaller yet very important details. Yup, it’s the New Balance sneaker and white tennis sock combination, the unexplainable love they have for various bolts and little metal thingies, the dad jokes, and the very, very specific dad phrases. Thankfully, there are Redditors who have documented all the dad quotes they’ve heard in this glorious Reddit thread - if anything, it’s a treasure trove of wooden jokes and that mythical father wisdom.
Now, once you dig deeper into these funny dad phrases, you might notice one thing that unifies them - lame puns. No one knows why, but it’s evident that once you become a father, you instantly unlock a hidden chest of stupid pun knowledge, and they just appear in your brain as if by a snap of your fingers. Gosh, we’d love to know that many silly puns, too! Another common denominator for these classic dad phrases is the deeply coded love that seeps through even the lamest joke or seemingly harsh remark. As much as we understand, dads aren’t ones to talk about their feelings loud and clear, so we’d also choose a silly joke to express our feelings if we were in their place. Humor is the glue of society, after all!
So, ready to check out some of the best dad phrases these brave people shared on this awesome AskReddit thread? If so, you know what to do here - scroll on down below, check out the submissions, and call to consult your dad on which of them truly captures the essence of being a father.
#2
"After obviously falling asleep on the couch:
'I'm not sleeping, I'm just resting my eyes!'"
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14points
#4
Mom said, "Did you know chicken noodle soup is scientifically proven to shorten the life of a cold?"
Dad responded, "Did you know chicken noodle soup is scientifically proven to shorten the life of chickens?"
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14points
#5
"If you say 'Oh my god,' he replies, 'No need for formalities, you can call me Dad.'"
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13points
#6

"In response to anyone whining about something hurting. His response: 'So chop it off.'"
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13points
#8
"'Come downstairs and die with the rest of the family.'
Bellowed during a tornado warning."
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11points
#9

"Every time we see a horse, that man yells 'Hey buddy, why the long face' dammit dad..."
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10points
#11
"'He won't sell many Ice creams going at that speed' every time an ambulance drives by."
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10points
#13
"Every single time I trip over something or stumble on a stone or something: 'Watch out for that'."
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10points
#14
"Asking dad to do something, he always says 'Ah I can't! I have a bone in my leg!'
When I was younger, he would tell me the same thing so until I learned that you need bones to do things, I thought having a bone in your leg was just the worst thing that could happen to a person."
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10points
#16
"You can always make more money, there are more important things in life."
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10points
#17
"My father is a silent mover. He often pops out of the shadows and scares the s**t out of people. Every time he does and I or someone else gets startled or says 'You scared me!' He always responds with a calm monotone... 'I have that effect on people.'"
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9points
#18

"You can pick your friends, you can pick your nose, but you can't pick your friend's nose."
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9points







