Good friends are hard to find. And even when you think you’re besties with someone, your entire friendship could break apart if you uncover that they’ve been lying to you for years. Without honesty, there can be no trust. And without trust, all you have is a fake friend who tries to take advantage of your kindness.
It’s not just the lies that sting. Fake friends can cost you a pretty penny, too. Or, in one woman’s case, a five-figure sum of money. Internet user u/Life-Fishing-8437 vented that her best friend had been taking advantage of her financially, even though she was secretly rich. Read on to find out how she uncovered the truth and what happened when she confronted her.
Even if you have known your friend for years, they can still surprise you. Sometimes, they have a secret second life
Image credits: wayhomestudio / Magnific (not the actual photo)
One woman opened up about how her best friend deceived her about her wealth and took advantage of her generosity
Image credits: The Yuri Arcurs Collection / Magnific (not the actual photo)
Image credits: wavebreakmedia_micro / Magnific (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Life-Fishing-8437
You don't have to reveal that you're rich, but you also shouldn't pretend to be poor or leech off your friends
The hurt that the generous author felt was twofold. First, she found out that her entire friendship was built on a foundation of lies. She felt manipulated and deceived because she gave her BFF a financial safety net, only to find out that all of the sacrifices and stress she experienced were, well, completely unnecessary.
Secondly, the amount of money she spent to support her bestie was immense, ranging between $12,000 and $15,000. That is a massive amount of money that could have been put to better use. For one, it could have become a solid emergency fund. Or the woman could have used it as a solid foundation for a larger down payment for property. Or it could have been spent on traveling the world, further education, etc. It hurts to think about all those lost opportunities, all thanks to a lying friend who pretended to be poor when she was anything but. In short, finding out that her best friend was actually a fake friend was devastating.
To be clear: if you have an inheritance or investments, you are not poor. Sure, your month-to-month cash flow might be low, but you are fully capable of dipping into your savings to cover your daily expenses. If, instead, you’re relying on your friends to cover your costs, it really does feel unethical. If your current cash flow is a problem and you don’t want to touch your investments or inheritance (for whatever reason), then you should do your best to find a better job. Once again, pretending to be poor when you’re actually rich is unethical and immoral.
To be fair, it’s not like you have to advertise that you’re well-off. Keeping your wealth a secret isn’t a bad idea because it helps you avoid people who want to take advantage of you. But this doesn’t mean that you should borrow money from your middle- or working-class friends, ironically taking advantage of them while you protect yourself from the very same behavior. Simply cover your costs without advertising that you’ve inherited a ton of money.
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Before lending money to anyone, make sure that you're protecting your interests. Don't just naively rely on people's goodness
The reality is that you should only be willing to lend money to your family and friends that you wouldn’t mind losing. What’s more, you should never lend anyone sums of money that would put you in a financially precarious position. You must ensure that you have your wants and needs covered first before going over the top with your generosity.
“No matter how much you want to help, consider your own financial situation first. Do you have the cash available, and can you afford to part with it, knowing there's a chance that you'll never get it back? You generally want to avoid depleting your own emergency fund to help with someone else's emergency,” Investopedia warns.
What’s more, you should only ever lend money to people that you trust. Look at their character, spending habits, vices, and history. Try to take an objective look at them as an individual, without your emotional connections to them.
Furthermore, if you want to avoid potential future financial headaches, get everything in writing before lending your friends or relatives any money. You want to make the loan as official as possible if you want to get your money back.
“At the very least, you'll want your agreement to specify the amount you're lending and when you expect to be repaid. That might take the form of a single payment at a certain date or a series of payments over a series of dates. Be as specific as possible, and make sure the borrower knows what's expected of them and what happens if they fail to live up to the agreement. If you're planning to charge interest, be sure that is clear, too.”
Meanwhile, if you’re lending a larger sum of money, get an actual lawyer involved. Protect your interests. Don’t just rely on other people’s goodwill to do the right thing. You can trust someone and still ensure that you’re keeping your boundaries and wallet safe.
What’s your take, Pandas? What do you think about the situation and how the woman reacted to her best friend’s treachery? Do you think she was right to cut her off? What would you have done in the situation? Have you ever had friendships fall apart because of money? How do you protect your financial and other boundaries from the people you love? Let us know in the comments below—we’ll be keeping an eye on the discussion there.
The internet had a lot to say about the friendship drama. Most people thought the woman did not overreact
Unfortunately, situations like this aren't rare. Some readers shared similar stories
