Building a romantic relationship means creating memories that, in turn, make us who we are. However, when something goes wrong or when people simply grow apart, they often experience the urge to destroy these memories, and destroying things associated with one’s ex might be one part of such attempts. The question is, how far is one willing to go with this? This Redditor’s ex went pretty far, by cutting down the willow tree where they first kissed, thus making her lose a beautiful tree in addition to poisoning one of the most beautiful memories she had of their relationship.
More info: Reddit
A woman's ex got his petty revenge by cutting down "their" tree so she forwarded his letter bragging about it to the property manager
Image credits: Naveen Kumar (not the actual image)
After a break-up, the woman's ex cut down the willow tree where they first kissed
Image credits: u/magsnotmaggie
Image credits: Pixabay (not the actual image)
Image credits: u/magsnotmaggie
The landlord made the man clear away the remains of the old tree, excavate the stump and plant a new one
Image credits: Dương Nhân (not the actual image)
The woman flat-out said no to her ex showering at her place after all day grinding, picking and hauling the dirt
While people have different methods for coping with a break-up and moving forward, some of them, however, are more acceptable than others based on how they affect other people and their property. This Redditor’s ex-boyfriend seemed to really have tried to make his ex-girlfriend feel the pain of loss when he went so far as to cut down the willow tree where they first kissed.
One can feel through this Redditor’s words as she describes how they “ducked under the branches forming a sort of yellow-green umbrella, almost completely blocking out the rest of the world,” a tendency of some relationships to provide people with feelings of safety as if shielding or reducing the power of negative aspects of life from affecting us emotionally.
Even when the memories are pretty much all that’s left of a relationship, and sometimes even more so, they still are some safe, idyllic place where we rest our troubled minds, find some inspiration, or simply remember who we are and where we come from. No wonder this woman was troubled, as intended by her ex-boyfriend, who ruined what was an incredibly romantic moment of theirs.
However, in addition to ruining the memories, this man's moves obviously were not in accordance with the law, so as he was self-assured enough to send a letter bragging to his ex-girlfriend about it, she made sure to forward it to the property manager of the fourplex they lived in.
The woman explains that in turn, she got her own revenge that came in several heartwarming pieces as the property manager made her ex-boyfriend clear away the remains of the old tree, excavate the stump and plant a new tree in its place. She assumes he had to pay some money as well.
The woman took pleasure in watching her ex drive off in his pristine Dodge Ram pickup all covered in mud
Image credits: Mike Bird (not the actual image)
The woman emphasizes that her favorite part of the story came later on when her boyfriend made a second attempt to include her in his “piece of performance” by asking if he could use the shower after an entire day of grinding, picking, digging, hauling dirt and getting all mucked up.
And that’s where she really got the chance that she did not miss - to reject the request and watch her ex drive off in his pristine Dodge Ram pickup that he treats like it’s made out of cotton wool, all covered in mud and sweat. As she explains, it didn’t make up for the loss of memories and a tree, but at least she was sure she made the right decision dumping him.
In their article “Interpersonal rejection as a determinant of anger and aggression”, the authors list the possible explanations of why rejection may lead to aggression, which include the rejection being a source of pain and frustration, experiencing rejection as a threat to one’s self-esteem, seeking to improve one’s mood and seeking to regain control and social influence.
However, even if aggression might help release one’s negative emotions after being left in a relationship, it is, of course, not acceptable when directed at other people or their property. In their study "Emotional distress regulation takes precedence over impulse control", scholars note that even though some theories propose that destructive behavior arises directly from moods as one’s motivation and ability of self-control get compromised under stress, they suggest the explanation to be more complex.
Based on three different experiments, the wish to indulge in destructive behavior was driven by a belief it would lead to short-term relief; however, when such a belief was removed and people expected their mood to stay the same despite their actions, people were not likely to indulge in destructive behavior and stick to their long-term goals. This suggests one's behavior in a stressful situation does not spring directly from one's moods, but is affected by one's anticipation of probable outcomes as well.
Redditors supported both the woman's as well as the property manager's way of handling the situation:
