“He Is Always Late”: 40 Culture Shocks People Experienced While Dating Internationally

I'm a swiss woman going out with a British man. The lack of quality food at supermarkets shocked me. The British way of "eating healthy" too.

My partner is French and I’m german.

We compromised on having dinner around 7PM rather than 8:30 or later for him and 6 for me. Also Germans eat cold at dinner and to him it was so odd, somwe agreed to only do it half the evenings.

I accepted to be less direct with him in feedback because he just sometimes could not handle my directness. In turn he tried to be more direct and not add fluff because I sometimes will not get what he means if he adds too much indirectness.

I introduced him to German beds: two separate 90cm mattresses in a single 1.8m bed and both get their own covers. He thought it was super unromantic at first but now he wonders how he ever lived with one sheet in a tiny 1.40m bed with his previous girlfriend. If both are well rested both are happier!!

I had to learn how to spend hours and hours on a table for a big holiday dinner. In Germany we put everything on the table for dinner then we eat then we are done. In France every course is eaten and then they start cooking the next one and it’ll probably be 30min. On occasions like Christmas this can take FOREVER. And I kinda hate it. I just want to be done eating and do something else. I’ve had to accept that habit and just get up During courses for a little walk to not get too bored or antsy

My husband's family are Polish and Catholic (I'm English and Protestant) so they celebrate Christmas more on Christmas Eve than Christmas Day. Also, the Christmas dinner I went to had EIGHT courses! Apparently, that was a cut-down version and they normally have TWELVE! My parents normally feed the 5000 on Christmas but even so, they only do two courses.

Apart from that, he won't drink or eat meat on certain days which doesn't bother me because I don't drink and I've been trying to reduce my meat intake anyway.

The only thing I've found challenging is more due to regional differences than cultural. My husband grew up in Yorkshire and there are some words that are completely normal and acceptable to say there but are very offensive anywhere else in the country so I had to tell him not to say those words anymore.

My partner is Indian - if he cooks and offers me food he gets really upset and keep asking until I say yes. Apparently it’s rude to turn down offered food in India.

When I’ve visited and stayed with his parents I’ve always said yes, it’s only an issue when I’m not hungry or he’s made something really Indian that I’m not a fan off and rather waste my calories on something else.

I'm South Asian and so is my husband, we currently have my MIL staying with us.

After I got married, she expected my mom to call her and ask permission for me to visit... which is apparently a really old cultural thing. I laughed my a*s off all the way to my mom's house after I said no way.

I lived in Peru for a while and stayed in a hostel for the first few days after arriving. The owner of the hostel was super helpful and, despite also owning a guide business, didn’t try to sell me anything. We hung out and he introduced me to some local rock climbers and told me about an upcoming climbing competition. I ended up becoming part of a community of amazing climbers and guides, finding roommates, and a romantic partner.

Months later, I found out that my partner’s brother worked with the hostel owner at his guide business. It dawned on me that the guy probably had no idea I had settled in the city, partly thanks to his help. We were going to the guide business to meet the brother and I thought I might see the company owner. I’d just baked some cookies, so I brought some as a gift to say thanks for all his kindness.

It did NOT go over well. The whole workplace fell silent. The awkwardness was palpable. My partner was furious with me.

I guess in Peru you DO NOT bake for someone else’s man. Lesson learned.

My husband is Mexican and his family does everything extremely spontaneously. My family plans vacations months in advance, even dinner at each others’ houses is at least a week ahead of time. Luckily for me he is a planner too but the rest of the family is super spontaneous. Also so much more friendly

My partner is also Dutch, she's from the south and her family speaks Limburgish at home, though they also speak regular Dutch and most speak German due to the border proximity.

Honestly, the biggest shock was realizing how different Canadians were. We kinda get painted with the "polite American" banner, which is generally accurate, but little differences my SO would point out were very interesting. The other biggest has been trying to learn Dutch/Limburgish, having a really tough time of it, but her Oma from a small village in Limburg really appreciates it and even laughed at a butchered joke I made there. I was really worried they'd get annoyed or make fun of my broken Dutch, but they were actually just really happy I made an effort to try. Its a hard language to learn with only English I find.

The biggest thing with her is how polite and sincere a lot of random Canadians are in public. Almost everyone thanks bus drivers or Uber drivers or service staff, which her whole family found weird for their first years here as in there mind "you're thanking them for doing what they're paid for. What?". When I said Dankjewel to the Tram Driver in Amsterdam, they were surprised and I believe made a comment to my SO joking in Dutch.

There was also a big difference in "class" stuff I guess you could say. In NL, she claims they are very formal with the way they address teachers, parents, authority figures basically. In Canada, we are almost always on equal footing besides using little things like "Mr/ms" and "sir". She found the casual way I'd make jokes at my parents very jarring at first.

The biggest shock for her was probably our slang and language at first coming to Canada. She learned most of her English from TV and books, but those don't match how Canadian teenagers speak whatsoever, it's like 60% slang.

Her biggest shock from dating a Canadian probably comes from the fact that I'm a Newfoundlanders from a big Newfoundlanders family on both sides. Our culture is quite a bit different from hers, and is extremely inclusive most of the time (Come from away, for an extreme example. My town is an hour away from Gander). My mother immediately was hugging her, showing her around, making jokes about us together, and she said "love you both" as we left. We'd been dating for quite a bit here, but this was still hugely different to how her parents act. For reference, I think my mom hugged her then and her own mom hadn't in over a decade. She also said vocalizations of their love were strange, but my mum and dad were big about saying I love you before going to bed or getting off the phone.

It really has been interesting and I love NL and NL food!

EDIT: The Cheek Kissing gets me so awkward too! How are you more reserved than us but kissing everyone?! I swear I turn into a tomato whenever it happens.

I dated a Bolivian guy for a few months as a USA born person. Biggest shock was how they displayed affection. He wanted constant kissing and physical contact, and also expected me to buy gifts and celebrate each month anniversary. As someone who dislikes PDA and over the top displays of affection it was rough for me, and I felt like I never satisfied his desires in the relationship.

I'm a white Christian American woman and my boyfriend is an Arab Muslim Saudi man! I guess I've gotten used to eating a lot less pork (I still eat some haha) and I also like partaking in a later dinner sometimes.

I guess a belief for me that has changed was that it opened my eyes a lot to Arab people and Muslim people in general even though I already had Muslim friends.

Oh yeah, and in Arabic you don't pronounce Islam like "IZ-lam" you pronounce it like "Issss-lam" (like a snake S.)

Am British. The traditional mating dance of my people is - find someone you like and mock them mercilessly and relentlessly until one of you passes. Sincerity is reserved for weddings, funerals and the birth of children, and even then you have to make fun of the baby.

I now live in the US. Turns out that this doesn’t go down well with many Americans much of the time. People are sometimes sincerely nice????? to people they want to see naked here????? Before marriage?????

Not really a partner but when I was online dating a Woman asked me to attend church with her for our first date .


I'm Christian and a church goer but that was A LOT even for me . I think I was her first online date so she didn't realize what a big ask that was, to me that's like asking me to meet your parents on a first date.

American marrying hardcore Chinese. Almost everything from parents to money to what we perceive as “clean”; clearly wrong and incorrect Chinese medicine, how to argue, how to resolve conflict, how you have sex, what you eat. How you have and treat friends of both sexes.

My partner is from the American South and I'm from the Midwest. My biggest shock was learning a toboggan is a wool hat and not a sled where he's from. I found out when he said something about wearing a toboggan, and I was like, what.

When I was living in Austria, my Slovenian ex boyfriend used to absolutely cringe at the way I wash dishes and vice versa.

I'm British and I can't speak for all Brits but we do have a tendency to fill up the sink (or a bowl within the sink) with water and washing up liquid, wash everything in there, leave it to dry and then tip the dirty water out. Rinsing is optional (I am not a rinser)

He honestly used to gag at this.

I, on the other hand, was so bemused as he basically used a year's supply of water and dish soap while washing a few plate under a constantly running steam.
(Side note: he also tipped thinks like leftover soup down the toilet - is that a thing?)

I'll be honest though - everyone I met from the continent was absolutely outraged at the 'British method'. One French girl refused to eat off my plates.

To this day, I don't know what's right or wrong but I absolutely love the controversy 😂.

Dating a guy from Ohio and I was shocked that pizza logs aren't a thing there...

My boyfriend and his mom are Chinese. When we visited his mother, she got a lot of food for us. I normally don't eat too much. So after I had my dinner, she was shocked I wouldn't eat anymore.

I got another plate and stuffed myself in order to not be rude 😔. Ever since then, I've been eating more so I can prepare myself to eat at future family dinners.

I’m Asian American and my boyfriend is not. I show my love through actions and I’d get upset if my needs or wants weren’t anticipated. Asians tend to be very good hosts and are always offering food, water, etc. After meeting his family, I understand that these things need to be vocalized. My communication has improved a lot and to his credit, he’s gotten better at being proactive in our relationship.

We are from neighbouring European countries, me UK and him France, so there's very little difference but I can think of a few straight off. France has a weird tradition of wishing each other a happy saint's day, they literally have all the saints' names on every calendar and expect a cake or at least a phone call "bonne fête Marie/Eric/etc !".

A well known one in France is spending 3-4 hours at the dinner table, we snack lunch in the UK, we might even eat while on the go.

Yet again in France, it's the custom to greet people by kissing them on the cheek, some people do sloppy smackers (ugh I just tap my cheek on theirs) but if you kiss your darling children on the mouth everyone looks at you like you're a pedophile. And the French have a nasty habit of joking about small children being in love if a girl plays with a boy, "I'm not leaving those two alone ha ha ha" which I think is gross, how can anyone sexualise babies and toddlers? It's like the 70s or something.

I had always dated men 10-20 years older than me until one day one asked me about watching the cartoon He Man growing up. I kindly replied that was before my time and realized that it really is harder to relate to people of a different generation.