There is a world of difference between being a genuinely nice person and a “nice guy.” In the former case, you’re empathetic and respect others because you actually care about people and the right thing to do. In the latter case, manipulative, insecure individuals only pretend to be kind in order to get what they want—for example, attention from their love interest.
Unfortunately, toxic pretenders who lack basic self-awareness aren’t all that rare. The women of the AskReddit community opened up about their cringiest “nice guy” interactions as a warning to others. Scroll down for their stories.
#21
Idk if this is a "nice guy" or just really f*****g annoying but
A guy I know is hopelessly in love. He knows I'm not single. Tells me things all the time like "in another realm, we'd be together. We'd make beautiful children. Don't you think we'd make beautiful children?" And I just answer like um???? And then when he sees me, he'll start saying all these love quotes from books he's read. he's made lewd comments as I've bent over before. He also whines that I never message/talk to him. He's some guy at my school but I hardly see him so I'm not worried at all, it's just really damn annoying.
A guy I know is hopelessly in love. He knows I'm not single. Tells me things all the time like "in another realm, we'd be together. We'd make beautiful children. Don't you think we'd make beautiful children?" And I just answer like um???? And then when he sees me, he'll start saying all these love quotes from books he's read. he's made lewd comments as I've bent over before. He also whines that I never message/talk to him. He's some guy at my school but I hardly see him so I'm not worried at all, it's just really damn annoying.
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41points
#22
In high school my older sister was extremely popular and pretty (think model material), while I was quite shy and weird and kept to myself, with no desire to be popular I might add. Somehow I managed to attract the attention of this sketchy older guy who began to frequently message me on AIM. In an effort to win my affection, he told me that a bunch of upperclassmen guys had gotten together and held a vote to determine who was hotter, my older sister or me. In his words, "Everyone else voted for your sister, but I voted for you even though they all made fun of me!" as though I was supposed to be grateful for his apparent self sacrifice. Needless to say, I didn't go for it.
41points
#23
I once had a friend that had 'no interest in me besides friendship' explode at me in a bar and call me a c**t when he asked me to list the reasons why I would not date him. I did not want to and he would not let it go. Then he got pissed when I told him I'm not attracted to him and even if I was, I lived on my own and wasn't interested in dating anyone that still lived with their parents creeping on 30...
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41points
#24
In college, I played a lot of online video games. I posted on forums related to these games often. One guy, we'll call him Bob, decided to "show me" how careless I'd been with my personal information. This lead to a phone call, on a number I never provided, during which he told me what dorm I lived in, at what campus, as well as information from public records regarding my family. On this call he told me how easy it would be for him to get there and r**e me. This was quite frightening, and when I put him on blast publicly for it, he stated he was "trying to show me how careless I'd been" and prove a point.
Years later, I went to a group meet-up with a bunch of people from this forum (with a guest I knew already), and he called me, on the same number (shoulda changed it) to ask me to wait for him outside, because he knew what I looked like. My guest and I met up with everyone and pretty quickly left.
Years later, I went to a group meet-up with a bunch of people from this forum (with a guest I knew already), and he called me, on the same number (shoulda changed it) to ask me to wait for him outside, because he knew what I looked like. My guest and I met up with everyone and pretty quickly left.
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40points
#25
I met a guy on OKCupid. We talked for a while and he kind of ghosted, but whatever, I kind of forgot he even existed for a while but friended me on facebook before he disappeared. He was never active so I never really heard from him.
I met a different guy and we started dating. I changed my status and he started messaging me minutes later asking about what was going on. We politely talked and he was being kind of flirty, but some people just naturally are so I was just being polite with my responses. The topic finally comes around to if I ever wanted to go on a date with him because we had discussed it before he ghosted. I informed him that I was in a relationship and he responded with something like, "Okay, cool. I just thought *we* were talking is all so I guess you were just playing me." This guy had disappeared for MONTHS but was getting pissed that I moved on. I mentioned this to him, but he just kind of danced around it, called me a s**t and then didn't respond to anything I had to say. I unfriended him and thought it was the last I would hear from him.
Me and the guy broke up, but I met another guy about 6 months later. We only dated for a little while before we were engaged and had a courthouse wedding. I was 19 when we got married and it was a fast relationship, I will admit. I once again, changed my status on facebook to married about a week after the wedding. Two days later, nice guy messages me again.
He once again started off with the "How's everything been?" and apologized for how he had reacted to what I had said the last time we spoke. I gave him the benefit of the doubt since it had been almost a year since we had spoken and I figured maybe he was just trying to not be a d**k and naive me thought maybe a friendship could happen. After a few minutes, it again comes back around to asking me on a date. I tell him I'm married now. He gets upset once again accusing me of leading him on because we were apparently still talking in his eyes (dumbass). He then asked how long we had dated before we decided to get married and I told him the truth. Big mistake.
He then goes off on a long a*s tangent about how my husband just wants to f**k me over and "is going to stretch out my pussy before divorcing me and leaving me a lonely s**t with 6 kids that no man will ever want." Then he blocked me. I was pretty pissed that I couldn't even counter what he said, but oh well, that is the internet. A year and a half passed before he reared his head again, this time, after I announced online that I was pregnant.
He started by saying he was sorry for blocking me (because that's what was angering about the whole thing), he would understand if I hated him, but the fact that I was having a baby was proof that what he said was coming true. Then he said that if I gave him a chance, he could save me from my "horrible" husband and be an amazing father to the baby and how he thought I was so sexy pregnant. I was actually at work so I didn't know he was messaging me so it went ignored. He then started getting angry that I wasn't responding. Started in on the b***h and s**t calling. Even said he hoped my baby was stillborn and killed me while I was in labor. I never responded and just blocked him at that point.
I don't expect that I've heard the last from him. I bet any day now he will find me on another social media platform and continue on his quest to get me away from my abusive, awful husband (/s). If anyone wants to know, my husband and I are still very happy together with a healthy little boy.
I met a different guy and we started dating. I changed my status and he started messaging me minutes later asking about what was going on. We politely talked and he was being kind of flirty, but some people just naturally are so I was just being polite with my responses. The topic finally comes around to if I ever wanted to go on a date with him because we had discussed it before he ghosted. I informed him that I was in a relationship and he responded with something like, "Okay, cool. I just thought *we* were talking is all so I guess you were just playing me." This guy had disappeared for MONTHS but was getting pissed that I moved on. I mentioned this to him, but he just kind of danced around it, called me a s**t and then didn't respond to anything I had to say. I unfriended him and thought it was the last I would hear from him.
Me and the guy broke up, but I met another guy about 6 months later. We only dated for a little while before we were engaged and had a courthouse wedding. I was 19 when we got married and it was a fast relationship, I will admit. I once again, changed my status on facebook to married about a week after the wedding. Two days later, nice guy messages me again.
He once again started off with the "How's everything been?" and apologized for how he had reacted to what I had said the last time we spoke. I gave him the benefit of the doubt since it had been almost a year since we had spoken and I figured maybe he was just trying to not be a d**k and naive me thought maybe a friendship could happen. After a few minutes, it again comes back around to asking me on a date. I tell him I'm married now. He gets upset once again accusing me of leading him on because we were apparently still talking in his eyes (dumbass). He then asked how long we had dated before we decided to get married and I told him the truth. Big mistake.
He then goes off on a long a*s tangent about how my husband just wants to f**k me over and "is going to stretch out my pussy before divorcing me and leaving me a lonely s**t with 6 kids that no man will ever want." Then he blocked me. I was pretty pissed that I couldn't even counter what he said, but oh well, that is the internet. A year and a half passed before he reared his head again, this time, after I announced online that I was pregnant.
He started by saying he was sorry for blocking me (because that's what was angering about the whole thing), he would understand if I hated him, but the fact that I was having a baby was proof that what he said was coming true. Then he said that if I gave him a chance, he could save me from my "horrible" husband and be an amazing father to the baby and how he thought I was so sexy pregnant. I was actually at work so I didn't know he was messaging me so it went ignored. He then started getting angry that I wasn't responding. Started in on the b***h and s**t calling. Even said he hoped my baby was stillborn and killed me while I was in labor. I never responded and just blocked him at that point.
I don't expect that I've heard the last from him. I bet any day now he will find me on another social media platform and continue on his quest to get me away from my abusive, awful husband (/s). If anyone wants to know, my husband and I are still very happy together with a healthy little boy.
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35points
#26
A guy tried to take my phone and use it to text my then-bf that we were over. When confronted, nice guy said my bf didn't treat me right, or else we wouldn't be doing long distance (this was during college, and he was 1.5 hours away by train).
When I obviously got mad, he called me a b***h, a wh*re, and an idiot for not realizing what I had in front of me. Cue 3 days of emo/angsty facebook statuses with me tagged in them. I block him. He cries about why we aren't friends anymore, I ask him to give me some time and we can try again. 1.5 days later, d**k pic. When I didn't respond to that, he sent me a long, handwritten letter about how perfect my body and how he would treat me like a princess, especially in bed.
When I obviously got mad, he called me a b***h, a wh*re, and an idiot for not realizing what I had in front of me. Cue 3 days of emo/angsty facebook statuses with me tagged in them. I block him. He cries about why we aren't friends anymore, I ask him to give me some time and we can try again. 1.5 days later, d**k pic. When I didn't respond to that, he sent me a long, handwritten letter about how perfect my body and how he would treat me like a princess, especially in bed.
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30points
#27
"Nice Guy" and worked down in HR. (Was completely incompetent too but that's another story.)
Anyway, he'd come up with excuses to come see all the single women in the building. He'd stand too close to you. Sometimes he'd stand in your doorway and just stare for a while without saying anything. Always very creepy when you'd look up and there'd he'd be.
He liked to ask incredibly personal and invasive questions. He'd complain to anyone who listened about how women just didn't want a "nice guy" like him. He faked being into several different religions trying to pick up a "good girl" because he didn't want a smoker or drinker (despite being both those things himself) and wanted a virgin who wasn't a "fatty" because he was a, "man not a whale" (he was tubby himself.)
To add onto what I said before: he also believed that if he met up with a group that had women in it, those women were dating him. And he'd get very mad if said women paid more attention to another man in the group than him, sometimes just get up and leave.
So, for example: One Friday a group of workers were going out for drinks after work. He invited himself along, so one of the women in the group said, "See you there!" He decided this meant they were dating. Then when she didn't pay attention to him much during the night and talked more to her new, male coworker - he just got mad and left without a word.
Nobody knew what happened to make him leave. Until the rumor mill started up because he told everyone that his female coworker had "cucked" him (his fancy word for cuckolding) that night.
Anyway, he'd come up with excuses to come see all the single women in the building. He'd stand too close to you. Sometimes he'd stand in your doorway and just stare for a while without saying anything. Always very creepy when you'd look up and there'd he'd be.
He liked to ask incredibly personal and invasive questions. He'd complain to anyone who listened about how women just didn't want a "nice guy" like him. He faked being into several different religions trying to pick up a "good girl" because he didn't want a smoker or drinker (despite being both those things himself) and wanted a virgin who wasn't a "fatty" because he was a, "man not a whale" (he was tubby himself.)
To add onto what I said before: he also believed that if he met up with a group that had women in it, those women were dating him. And he'd get very mad if said women paid more attention to another man in the group than him, sometimes just get up and leave.
So, for example: One Friday a group of workers were going out for drinks after work. He invited himself along, so one of the women in the group said, "See you there!" He decided this meant they were dating. Then when she didn't pay attention to him much during the night and talked more to her new, male coworker - he just got mad and left without a word.
Nobody knew what happened to make him leave. Until the rumor mill started up because he told everyone that his female coworker had "cucked" him (his fancy word for cuckolding) that night.
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29points
#28
A year back this guy I met on Bumble (I know, I know...) seemed so sweet and we went on a cute ice cream date at the beach. Then, he told me he'd stay the night in his car around the street from my condo so he can immediately take me to work the next day. I come to find out he lived in his car. He wanted me to 'sleep over' one night, lol nah. He started staying the night in his car around the corner every night to take me to work, and eventually started just walking into my house to wake me up cuz he thought he was 'helping' me. Soon, he told me we should get rings so he can prove to everyone I was 'his' and he was 'mine' like I was property. I'm not entirely sure if you wanted to call this possessive or "nice guy" but I just wanted to give him a chance until the whole ring thing and then I was OUT. He tried coming to my work a few times with gifts and begging, and begging at my front door for weeks but stopped when I filed a restraining order.
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29points
#29
A guy on a dating website messaged me out of the blue with a custom-written poem. It was 4-5 stanzas long and rhymed. He used information from my profile to write it. That level of effort from someone I didn't know at all was creepy as hell. I also checked his profile and we had almost nothing in common and differed on several VERY fundamental life issues/beliefs. I didn't respond to the poem because, again, it was super creepy. After a few days he messages me again calling me a b***h for not responding to him and that I should appreciate all the effort he went to to impress me. Like... thanks for your creepy-a*s poem, terrifying internet stranger?
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27points
#30
I have 3 different stories of 3 different guys that I was friends with in HS that misinterpreted our friendship and confessed there love for me. When turning all 3 of them down they threatened s*icide.
Distanced myself from the 1st guy and when he moved we stopped talking. After getting engaged he messaged me congratulating me, being a dumbass I responded and talked to him for about a week before he decided to insult my fiance and tried to tell me I'd be better off with him.
The second guy would text me a "s*icide note" like 3 times a week and it got to the point where I got so frustrated I responded once and said something like "do it then" and he called me a b***h but left me alone.
3rd guy f*****g stalked me after I cut contact with him, well into my 20s, and after I met my now husband. We lived like 45min-1hr away from each other and he'd still find a reason to show up at my job. After I got married he blocked me on all social media.
Idk what kind vibe teenage me was putting out, but I will say bc of them I am alot better at setting boundaries and will cut people who make me uncomfortable out of my life without a second thought. So that's cool I guess.
Distanced myself from the 1st guy and when he moved we stopped talking. After getting engaged he messaged me congratulating me, being a dumbass I responded and talked to him for about a week before he decided to insult my fiance and tried to tell me I'd be better off with him.
The second guy would text me a "s*icide note" like 3 times a week and it got to the point where I got so frustrated I responded once and said something like "do it then" and he called me a b***h but left me alone.
3rd guy f*****g stalked me after I cut contact with him, well into my 20s, and after I met my now husband. We lived like 45min-1hr away from each other and he'd still find a reason to show up at my job. After I got married he blocked me on all social media.
Idk what kind vibe teenage me was putting out, but I will say bc of them I am alot better at setting boundaries and will cut people who make me uncomfortable out of my life without a second thought. So that's cool I guess.
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20points
