30 People Who Did Not Have A Good Time At A Wedding Because Of A Horrible Speech

Wedding planner Lisa Burton, who has about 15 years of experience throwing weddings abroad, said the best man and the father of the bride are the most traditional speech givers at a wedding. "The best man's speech is usually more comical, featuring stories about the groom, often rather embarrassing ones. The father’s speech is generally to thank guests for attending and sharing stories about the bride and of course to welcome the groom to the family," Burton told Bored Panda.

Burton has planned over 1,600 weddings and she said the speeches traditionally take place after dinner and is one of the last formalities before the party starts. "However, recently couples are choosing to have their speeches before dinner, allowing those involved to relax and enjoy themselves, rather than be nervous throughout the meal about their impending speech and how it may be received."

"The less conventional couples we work with choose to leave out speeches altogether, opting for a more relaxed day overall with very little tradition or formality.," the wedding planner added.

Michelle Lew, the owner of Lavender Crown Events, a wedding planning company servicing San Jose, Silicon Valley, and the surrounding areas, explained to Bored Panda that one of the first things she tells people is, "Remember it is a toast, not a speech."

"Toasts are generally 2-4 minutes long whereas speeches are 5+ minutes (but usually 10+)," Lew said. "A lot of times, the speech may be great, but guests will easily get bored if it is too long, especially when there are 4 long speeches back to back."

"While couples may ask a certain person to give a toast, it's important that they also consider what is off-limits," Lew pointed out. "Often, I've seen embarrassing stories included in speeches that the couple doesn't want to be shared. In other cases, I've also heard bad speeches where the speaker would side with one person of the couple rather than consider them a pair. For example, there was one instance where the bride's sister (the maid of honor) gave a speech that outwardly disdained the groom rather than celebrating the couple's future together. I believe the main cause of a bad speech is when the speaker and the couple truly do not understand each other or do not have the best intentions."

When a speaker is invited, they should know the limits of what to share and what to omit, Lew said.

However, the lines aren't always clear. "There’s a difficult balance when deciding what to include in a wedding speech," Lisa Burton said.

"I don’t think there's anything wrong with harmless innuendo, but I do think being too personal and too rude is bad taste. Remember that the speech is meant to entertain rather than an opportunity to embarrass or take the limelight away from the bride and groom."

The wedding planner thinks speeches are a lovely way to celebrate the bride and groom’s love story and likes to encourage her less traditional couples to be creative in how they present their speeches.

But if a couple decides to, Burton said they can even leave out speeches altogether. "After all, rules were made to be broken weren’t they?" At least that way you know for sure that the only people attendants risk insulting are themselves.