As one of America’s most sought-after communication and leadership experts, Peggy emphasized the importance of distinguishing between good and bad bragging behaviors and explained how good bragging can be appropriate and effective in various situations. “I want to be clear that talking about yourself does not imply arrogance or boastfulness. That is a result of bad bragging behaviors such as talking incessantly, never asking about others, interrupting, bringing the conversation back to you, condescending, exaggerating, and lying, among others. Good bragging is subtle and seamlessly works its way into business and social interactions. And there are many situations where you should be bragging, the good way: conferences and networking events, friends’ parties (you never know who might be looking for a great employee), interviews, and performance reviews. With the latter, you should be fully prepared with a robust collection of information about your work, goals, achievements, and things your clients and colleagues have said about you. If you have received your review prior to a conversation with your boss, make sure you address their feedback,” wrote Peggy Klaus.
#6 A Guy I See Regularly On The Elevator Where I Live Had This Slip Out Of His Pocket And Casually Said, “Oh, Sorry You Had To See That.” He Then Left It On The Elevator When He Got Off
Lots of individuals, due to the stigma of bragging, might seem unable to promote themselves. If you, too, experience this, Peggy advises reframing the perception of bragging. “First, you have to be open to letting go of the old perception of BRAG as a four-letter word and reframe it as taking pride in yourself. Just like you tell others you love to be proud of yourself, you need to do that for yourself. And then BRAG, the good way: share something truthful about yourself, either personally or professionally, in an energetic and conversational manner which creates interest and excitement in your audience.”
However, Peggy, like many others, expressed her dislike for humblebragging and encouraged individuals to own and express their accomplishments with confidence. She wrote: “I find humblebragging to be annoying because what the person really wants to say is 'I’m really pleased and proud of this accomplishment' but instead frames it with 'faux shyness': Example: 'It was embarrassing (but cool too) to be singled out yesterday by our CEO for my work with Girls Inc.'”
“Instead, own it and say 'It was wonderful to be acknowledged yesterday by our CEO in our town hall for the work my team and I do with Girls Inc. Thank you, (CEO name).'”
There are various myths surrounding bragging, which can lead to individuals resorting to humblebragging or failing to acknowledge their accomplishments altogether. “There are so many misconceptions, or what I call 'bragging myths' that result from our cultural, religious, and familial backgrounds: if you do good work, you will be recognized and rewarded, it’s a sin, it’s not nice, nice girls don’t do it, people won’t like you, etc. The truth is that if you don’t let people know about your successes, the obstacles you’ve overcome, and your value to the company, you will stall and/or derail your career. I have seen too many people passed over for stretch assignments, promotions, and bonuses because they didn’t let people know.”
“Identifying the bragging myths that you are holding on to is the first step in addressing them: your reticence to talking about yourself. Then, follow the steps in the book for creating brag bites, bragologues, fly-bys, and a brag bag so that you can be ready when the situation calls for it,” shared Peggy.
Being unable to brag is a problem many people face; however, women, people of color, LGBTQ+, and neuro-diverse individuals face additional challenges. “In my 20 years of teaching thousands of people the art of bragging, I have found many men who have difficulty bragging. Yet, women, people of color, LGBTQ+, and the neuro-diverse face even greater challenges with self-promotion due to conscious and unconscious bias and a narrower band of acceptable behavior and communication. In addition to exploring their own personal barriers, these communities must discern their organization’s attitude toward self-promotion, and create short, pithy entertaining communications (I call these bragologues and fly-bys) that will resonate with their audiences,” shared Peggy.
And lastly but not least, Peggy shares her excitement that you might be interested in. “I am very excited about my new program, “Bragging beyond Bias,” Stepping up, Speaking up and Succeeding as your true self.” All of us face biases, but for people of color, women, LGBTQ and the neuro-diverse, self-promotion comes with even greater challenges. Participants learn how to attract and retain a diverse group of associates, build an effective culture of celebrating accomplishments, and become a champion for setting open collaborative environments.”
