74 First-Date Behaviors So Bizarre Women Didn’t Know How To React

Some mutual friends set me up with a guy they knew who they thought I would really like. They gave me his number and we texted for a while and set up a date! We agreed to get coffee and walk to a park across the street.

So we get to the park and 20 minutes into the date he started trying to shove his tongue down my throat. I wasn't really into it at all and it was like kissing a dead fish. I was clearly uncomfortable but this guy would not take a hint. After a little while of deflecting his advances, I made an excuse and left.

By the time I got home he had already told all of our friends that I was his girlfriend and I was getting congratulations texts from people. I had to tell all those people that the date did NOT go that well and that we were not in a relationship. Then I had to gently break it to the guy that I didn't feel a spark and it wasn't going to work out between us.

That guy is now married to a girl he's known for six months.

Immediately after meeting, he tried to offer me ten bucks for the jacket I was wearing (in December). When I said no, he decided that instead of coffee, we should go thrift shopping so he could find a jacket like mine. Okay...

He then shoplifted from the thrift store, stole my stamp card when I actually bought something, and then asked me to go home and have s*x with him. I made an excuse about doing laundry and noped right out of there.

I ended up leaving and cancelling my order with the server on the way out the door. Dude sent me nasty messages on the dating app the next day.

I’m 40 now and about to marry a guy who makes every meal at home to fit my needs. He researches new recipes and keeps the kitchen stocked with safe ingredients. Ladies, if he wanted to, he would.

Went to lunch with a guy, said he’d be a few minutes late cause he’s scared to drive on the freeway. (Valid if you’ve ever crashed,been hit etc)

After lunch he says let’s go walk the mall and I say okay. We started walking around, he goes I’ll get you a new loungefly if you try on lingerie for me at Victoria’s Secret. I said absolutely not. He wandered into a shoe store and I called my best friend to stage an emergency and leave.

That ick has lived in my head rent free for many years ahaha.

We went to the park where he proceeded to insist he had had "all the s*x, I could have anyone", but also that "I don't want anything serious". He said he was interested in human psychology, asked me weird questions about my s*xuality and than said and I quote "Honestly, only thing I haven't done yet is f*ck a rhino".

He took me to a restaurant where a band was playing. He chewed with his mouth open and was generally horrendous at conversation. I excused myself to the restroom and when I came back, a man was sitting in my seat.

It was his father.

Apparently his father played in the band at the restaurant.

I went out with a “local author” and found out that he lived with his parents and delivered pizzas for a living YET he was dead set on negging me the entire time. We both ended up blogging about the terrible date and I ended up as part of the group blog that he wrote on because the other bloggers thought the whole situation was so entertaining.

Even though it wasn’t MY first date, I felt very much a part of it.

My two theater friends in high school liked each other and decided to go to the movies together to watch the new Spongebob movie. I was friends with both of them and they asked me to come along and I said yes, thinking it was going to be a group thing...

NOPE-it was just us three at the movies. I guess they thought having me there would make their first date less awkward? Idk but I sat there watching spongebob at the movies while she sat on his lap sucking on his tongue. And it felt like they thought I couldn’t hear them but they were whispering“dirty” things to each other and uhh yeah...So cringe.

They were an hour late but I was already downtown and it was a long way home. Went to an ok bar and had ok conversation. They insisted they could handle their liquor. An hour into the date I was sober and they were so drunk that they threw up all over me and my coat. It was winter in Canada. I had to transit home in a t shirt.

10 years ago (I was 16 he was 18), I made out with a Mormon guy who said that he wanted to learn how to makeout in a nonthreatening environment. I agreed, I was his first kiss. We made out in his car for a while, he got super handsy so I asked him to take me home.

Fast forward 5 years. I hadn't heard from this guy since and he texts me out of the blue and asks me out on a formal date. I was in a bit of a dry spell, so I agreed. 5 minutes into the date he tells me all about how I'm all he's been able to think about since that day 5 years prior. He said that the only women he should have acted like that with was his wife, and he thinks that we would be a great couple. I promptly told him that was never going to happen. Aside from all the other blaring crazy issues, I'm an atheist and he's a mormon- trust me dude, you dont want to actually be with me. He then spent the rest of the date trying to convert me to mormonism, so that this would work out. Everytime I would ask him to take me home he said that there was just one more place we needed to go. Eventually I said that I was going to tell someone that I was being held against my will if he didnt take me home.

Probably the one where the guy tried to get me to play improv comedy games with him and I went on a weirdly long tangent about how I think rabies is cool.

The other one would be the guy who would not stop talking about my old cosplay pics he saw on my Facebook and then went in for a kiss goodbye, I dodged, it landed INSIDE my ear and then we started walking in the same direction to our cars.

Went out with a dentist, 5 mins in he stares at my smile and goes: "You need braces, a little whitening won't hurt either".

Haven't seen him since.

My first foray on Tinder back in college landed me a few of these. One guy seemed pretty chill over messaging, so I agreed to meet him for a drink. Like 20 minutes before the date he asked if we could meet at Huddle House instead. Ok, sure, I like milkshakes. I told him this. Met him there, apparently he had been there for 30 minutes already, and had already ordered and eaten most of his pancakes. He gestures to a half-drank milkshake on the table with two straws in it and says "I got us one to share". Uhhh.

Through the entire date he was shaking and his voice kept cracking and shaking. It looked like he hadn't washed his hair and was wearing dirty clothes. He barely talked, I had to keep asking questions to keep the conversation going. I kinda felt bad for him, it was clear he was really nervous. Date ends, he goes in for a hug but I shake his hand. Later he texts me and asks if I want to come with him the next day to a bonfire his friend is having at a farm an hour away. Because that doesn't sound creepy at all. I politely told him I had plans and then never heard from him again lol

After I already told him that I'm not really comfortable with physical touch he kept rubbing my back he kept trying to hug me and he tried to kiss me. Fast forward to the guy I'm dating now literally first date we're making out and more LOL so maybe it wasn't not being comfortable with physical touch maybe it's just being not attracted to him.

After talking a couple of hours with a german guy, he tried to get to my apartment because apparently he lost his key and couldn't reach his roommate when called. The theater he played was amazing when he tried to fake call his friend knowing that i speak german and would understand that he is asking friend to lie. Of course I cut the date way ahead of my home. Never saw him again.

In the days I would go on bumble dates I had a few awful ones. One met for a walk at a rivertown park - with possibility of a meal after. This one won the worst date award: he got upset that I could tell he was over 15 years older than posted - claimed everyone lies about that so it’s ok, then just super aggressive when I wasn’t impressed enough by his car. He only talked about himself or complained about women. I left. Then he found my company on yelp and wrote several fake reviews trashing me.

He ordered two dinners that he ate concurrently with a fork in each hand whilst chewing like a pirahna with his mouth open as he regaled me with tales of him having the shttiest job ever…a plumber.

I had a first and last date with this man that was nothing but cringe. He showed up and a ratty T-shirt, cargo pants and flip-flops. He was barely talking and I asked him if he was nervous, and he said no he ate three Gummies on the way there. He was talking about his failed marriage and how he messed up and he started crying. He didn’t eat, and I had a full a meal because I was hungry. Then, toward the end of the date, there was a young woman across the aisle, who stood up and he.

So I went on three dates: First, he was so nervous, he walked a good 5-6 ft ahead of me on the way to the movies. Second date, took me to a pork restaurant (I don't eat pork) and proceeded to tell the karaoke guy that he just asked if I wanted to go out and I said yes when asked how he "won me over". Third, loudly called HIS MOTHER to tell her he wasn't going home after our movie, a couple ft away from me, trying to be discreet.

Current husband. We were at dinner at this great funky Mexican, Chinese, and American place. A mosquito landed on his neck so I slapped it. Didn't even think twice.