Kids will be kids. Sometimes weird, impolite, and in your face, other times goofy, hilarious and adorable. But what if a child has been acting weird lately? When should parents get alarmed? To find out about that and other aspects of parenting, Bored Panda spoke with Anisa Lewis, a positive parenting coach who was happy to share some insights.
If a child suddenly starts acting out of the norm, parents should trust their judgment. “It really depends on your child and what it is that they are doing that has alerted you to their different behavior. You know your child best and if you are concerned in any way and the behavior has not changed for the better then it is always best to intervene.”
“Depending on the age of the child and the behavior, you might wish to start with open-ended questions ‘What is going on for you?’ ‘How can I help?’ as a starting point,” Anisa explained and added that more serious behavior changes may need a different approach.
Speaking of parenting, we have all heard about quality time with a child, something so many parents feel confused about. So we asked Anisa what role it plays in a child's development and how parents can have that quality time. “Quality time with your child is important no matter their age. Setting yourself up with a routine of quality time with your child when they are little will help to set you up for success as they grow older and their needs change,” she said.
Anisa explained that parents often believe that they need to give their child hours and hours of time. In fact, that’s not true since “it is the quality of time over the quantity that really matters.” It may be that “ten minutes of focused attention (yes, phones away), leaning into something your child wants to do or being available at the same time every day to chat is just as effective as hours of time spent with them where you are distracted, on your phones or juggling many aspects of your day.”
On the other hand, everyone knows that some parents and children never grow close together. This lack of connection follows them to their adulthood, and rebuilding it may be hard, yet possible. “There is always a possibility to change this when they grow up. It is about communication, listening and forgiveness.”
Anisa also said that reasons that parents and kids never become close could be due to so many reasons: trauma, personalities, life stresses and circumstances. “Healing is two-sided and both need to be willing to do the work in order to change the foundation and boundaries of their relationship,” she concluded.
