57 Insane Relationship Confessions That People Are Keeping Secret From Their Loved One

Keeping secrets is normal for most people, but research has found that nearly 1 in 4 folks also keep things hidden from their partner. Even after moving in with their significant other, people may still keep some things private, regardless of whether the relationship gets more serious or not.

According to the study, millennials were the demographic most likely to keep things confidential, while baby boomers tended to be the most comfortable spilling the beans. Of all the secret-keepers, about one-third of the 2,000 respondents kept information hidden from their partner for over a year, and 68% of folks felt guilty about having secrets in the first place.

It might seem obvious that keeping secrets from a partner can ultimately affect the relationship, but social worker Amy Morin says folks often try to protect themselves and their loved one. This self-preservation might stem from a person’s ego, fear that their partner will judge them, or worry that what they're hiding might change how others see them.

There is also a lot of shame, embarrassment, and worry that comes with having to keep these kinds of secrets, which can take a toll on a person’s mental health. Even if they want to share what they’ve kept hidden for a while, these feelings can be so strong that they never feel comfortable opening up.

As you may have noticed from this list, sometimes people keep secrets to protect their relationship. They might feel that if they reveal the truth, their partner may leave them, which is not an outcome that anyone wants to face. Especially in cases of infidelity, folks might want to hide their mistakes as long as possible to avoid their relationship ending.

Unfortunately, it’s hard to know how the other person will react, and people often don’t want to face the consequences of their actions. Sometimes revealing secrets can also cause folks a lot of pain and heartache, which nobody wants to inflict on someone they love. People often use this as a justification for hiding things from their significant other.

It can be difficult to know what pushes someone to hide something from their significant other, but studies suggest that people in less intimate, trusting, or satisfying relationships tend to keep more secrets. This may be because of the poor quality of their bond, which can make it hard to build rapport with their partner.

Folks like this may also struggle with self-esteem and fear rejection, so their insecure attachment with their loved one is built on such a fragile foundation that even the truth could tear it apart. It definitely shows that a person’s personality and belief system can affect whether they keep secrets.

Since keeping secrets can ruin a relationship, are there things folks should keep hidden? According to Mark Merrill, founder and president of Family First, a national non-profit organization, some things should stay private between a person and their partner.

He said people shouldn't share intimate details of their relationships, disagreements they've had, or their significant other’s health issues. These things should stay between a person and their loved one and shouldn’t be shared with others without permission, since they could be embarrassing or cause pain.

Hiding something from a loved one might feel like the right thing to do at first, but Terry Gaspard, a licensed clinical social worker, explains that it can lead to betrayal later on. If the truth comes out later, it could make the other person feel they can no longer trust their partner and doubt anything they say.

The effects of deceit can also linger for a long time, and relationships may even fall apart if trust isn’t there. That’s why it’s important for folks to think through the secrets they keep from their partner, especially if they're trying to spare them pain in the present, because it could hurt them in the future instead.