#1
There is absolutely nothing wrong with actually being a nice person. We should all have good manners and look out for each other. But the “nice guys” that these stories reference are not kind people. They are more focused on portraying themselves as nice to get what they want, and as soon as they are disappointed, their true colors show. It’s much better to be around genuinely good and kind people, who may not sugar coat things, than fake nice guys, but sadly, most women have come across this archetype at one point or another.
To learn more about the nice guy trope, we reached out to Laura Coronado, host of the There Are No Nice Guys podcast. First, we were curious how Laura’s show got its. “My podcast got its name after a series of bad dates and encounters that left me wondering, 'Where are all the nice guys?'," she told Bored Panda. "So, I did what any single woman does before she realizes it’s time to hire a therapist—I crowdsourced advice from Facebook. I asked my friends and followers to define the concept of the 'nice guy'.”
#2
#3
“I got various responses that included, ‘Nice guys are boring’, as well as warnings to beware of the ‘nice guy’. He starts nice at first, but then he becomes a real jerk,” Laura shared. “However, a married friend inspired me when she said, ‘The nice guy doesn’t exist.’ He doesn’t exist because the nice guy trope is either a self-serving title that a guy gives himself or it’s a title given to him by someone else who isn’t interested in him romantically.”
“When it comes down to it, there are no nice guys,” Laura told Bored Panda. “Not because there aren’t decent men in the world, but because the term ‘nice guy’ has become a trope.”
“I have had a million different encounters with ‘nice guys’ since my divorce in 2015, but in a recent podcast episode (Episode 37: When Nice Guys Go Bad), I recount the tale of my ‘friend’, Alex, who I had always thought was a nice guy until I met the woman he’s been using and toying with for the past two years,” Laura shared. “It turns out, Alex is just another douchebag hiding behind the ‘nice guy’ act.”
#4
#5
#6
“After meeting this woman, who had deep feelings for him, despite all his mixed signals, I texted Alex to gush about what an amazing woman she is,” Laura explained. “He then proceeded to hit on me. I am so disappointed in him. Needless to say, we’re no longer friends.”
“I don’t know if he was always pretending to be a nice guy and was just waiting for his chance with me or if he turned bad. I guess I’ll never know," she added.
Laura also believes that all women have had similar experiences with “nice guys”. “I think it’s common because parents, teachers, and society, in general, have convinced men that they’re the top dogs in the world and that they’re owed affection from those they desire,” she explained. “Generally speaking, men see themselves as though they’re the ‘pickers’ and women are the ones getting ‘picked’.”
#7
#8
#9
We were also curious what Laura would like to say to any of these so-called “nice guys”. “Men who portray themselves as ‘nice guys’ when they are the opposite are diabolical. They are either sociopaths, narcissists, manipulators, and/or users,” she told Bored Panda. “There is no cure for sociopathy or narcissism, so I have no words to say to those people. There is no hope for them.”
“However, to the men with no personality disorders and using tactics of ‘nice guy’ manipulation to use women simply because they enjoy the high, there is still hope for you," Laura says. "Get a therapist."
#10
#11
The irony...
#12
“The high you are getting from being manipulative and using women is temporary. In between those highs, your lows will be quite low, leaving you with an unfulfilled life, forever painted as the villain,” Laura explained. “Hire a therapist. Work on yourself. Understand why it is you do the things you do. Improve, grow, and acquire peace of mind. Eventually, you will learn to like and love yourself and be someone others will like and love, too.”
If you’d like to hear more wise words from Laura and hear about her personal encounters with “nice guys”, be sure to check out the There Are No Nice Guys podcast right here.
#13
His house had a pool, so during warm weather a bunch of us would swim at his house after school. One day he invites me over to swim after school, when I get there, no one else is there, which was weird. He was splashing me, sort of aggressively flirting, dunking me, so I get out of the pool and he pins me down to kiss me. So I play it off as joking and leave. I give him the cold shoulder after that and he was pissed. Two weeks later and at a different friends' house he and I are both there for a swim-birthday party and he and another guy give me a simultaneous front and back "seesaw" which is like a horrbile double-wedgie in the pool. My swimsuit cut me so badly I bled.
I hate you Pat.
#14
#15
(1) He insisted on picking me up, but I politely declined (I was worried about my ex seeing a guy picking me up). On the date he wouldn't let it go that I wouldn't let him pick me up, saying he offered to be nice but some girls just don't appreciate that. Then things got weird.
We hope you have had more encounters with genuinely kind men than "nice guys" throughout your life, but if you can relate to these stories, know that you're not alone. Keep upvoting the responses you resonate with, and don't be scared to call out all of the fake nice guys in your life. Feel free to share any of your personal experiences with "nice guys" in the comments below, and then if you'd like to check out another Bored Panda article featuring men that are actually respectful and kind towards women, look no further than right here.
#16
#17
#18
#19
#20
