A microaggression is a brief, seemingly normal encounter that is still designed to make someone feel bad. After all, it’s not really a good image to engage in overt aggression. Examples include things like nagging or disparaging comments.
Someone asked “What micro aggression was so micro, you'd look crazy for pointing it out?” and netizens cracked their knuckles and shared their stories. Get comfortable as you scroll through, upvote your favorites and be sure to add your own experiences to the comments section down below.
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#21
Someone said "no offense" before a totally normal sentence, still thought about it for days.
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#22
Someone at work will not stop parking their shoes in front of my locker so I can’t open it without moving them. Perfectly lined up and clearly deliberate. It’s cause it’s right in front of the bench. But like? You have your own locker, there’s ten shoe racks, a shoe mat under the bench, and now they’re in the middle of the very narrow isle. wth. It’s been months of me having to move someone’s smelly hospital shoes. It’s so minor and frustrating.
Another one is when some random person kicks someone’s else’s shoes in as far a different directions as possible. It’s so rude.
Another one is when some random person kicks someone’s else’s shoes in as far a different directions as possible. It’s so rude.
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#23
I will sign off an email with "Regards," instead of "Best regards," if I am annoyed.
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#24
Had a barista who looked like she as having a bad day. I made sure I had my full order ready and spoke clearly and enunciated to try and help her out. She continued to have a sour face and asked my name. I told her, loud and clear, "It's Joanna". She sorta rolled her eyes at me and made a face, which was weird. I tipped her well regardless. I know working retail [is bad].
Time goes by and my order hasn't come up. Everyone that came after me had their drinks. All of a sudden I hear someone loudly call, "Joe! JOE! JOE!" And it dawns on me... I'm Joe. Embarrassed I go get my order, because it's clear they thought I just wasn't paying attention. I thought about telling them, "Hey, the original Barista shortened my name so I didn't recognize it", but knew they'd think I was weird. I've been "Anna" or "Joanne" on coffee and it never bothered me.
But when I looked back and remembered the fact she had rolled her eyes at me when I said my name, I realized she was annoyed at me that I had a "long" name. And then shortened it. Super weird micro aggression, but not one that deserved bringing up to the staff. Still leaves me weirded out whenever I think about it.
Time goes by and my order hasn't come up. Everyone that came after me had their drinks. All of a sudden I hear someone loudly call, "Joe! JOE! JOE!" And it dawns on me... I'm Joe. Embarrassed I go get my order, because it's clear they thought I just wasn't paying attention. I thought about telling them, "Hey, the original Barista shortened my name so I didn't recognize it", but knew they'd think I was weird. I've been "Anna" or "Joanne" on coffee and it never bothered me.
But when I looked back and remembered the fact she had rolled her eyes at me when I said my name, I realized she was annoyed at me that I had a "long" name. And then shortened it. Super weird micro aggression, but not one that deserved bringing up to the staff. Still leaves me weirded out whenever I think about it.
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#25
Years ago I was at Thanksgiving with my boyfriend at the time's family.
The turkey platter was too heavy to really pass around, so plates were getting passed around. His grandma started to put a whole turkey leg on my plate, then asked whose plate it was. When she found out mine she put the leg back and put some scraps on the plate.
I can't remember if this was one or two years after she sat me and him at the "kids table" alone, while the actual children were at the main table.
The turkey platter was too heavy to really pass around, so plates were getting passed around. His grandma started to put a whole turkey leg on my plate, then asked whose plate it was. When she found out mine she put the leg back and put some scraps on the plate.
I can't remember if this was one or two years after she sat me and him at the "kids table" alone, while the actual children were at the main table.
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#26
I was comforting my friend when she was talking about her insecurities, by saying that all of us had insecurities, myself included. She responded by saying "Your nose, right?". Guess who couldn't forget that comment even years later?
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#27
Too many compliments. I face it a lot as an Autistic person. A few compliments are fine, but sometimes someone gives enough compliments that it's like, okay you're laying it on too thick now, you're acting like I'm a child or someone who constantly needs their ego boosted. I don't. These are usually the same people who get mad at me when I'm struggling.
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#28
New sister in law consistently passively aggressively pointing out things she doesn't like about me.
I have autism among other things.
Certain quotes:
"Oh you're a little bit OBESSED over that aren't you?"
"Have you taken your medication today?"
"Can you make the pie you're making healthy?"
"I think you need to stop talking," and immediately picks off when I stopped.
"You KNOW what black tie is don't YOU?"
And a myriad of others. Lord give me strength.
I have autism among other things.
Certain quotes:
"Oh you're a little bit OBESSED over that aren't you?"
"Have you taken your medication today?"
"Can you make the pie you're making healthy?"
"I think you need to stop talking," and immediately picks off when I stopped.
"You KNOW what black tie is don't YOU?"
And a myriad of others. Lord give me strength.
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#29
Being told I'm “surprisingly articulate.”
Thank you, I think?
Thank you, I think?
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#30
I saw in a personal finance sub someone post about buying a house post divorce and a majority of the comments were about grieving the marriage and waiting. This person is a woman and makes good money, shared their income and can afford it.
I’ve never seen a man post about divorce and a majority of the comments are about getting therapy, and taking a cooling off period or about feelings. The replies are typically about the financial advice they asked about.
I’ve never seen a man post about divorce and a majority of the comments are about getting therapy, and taking a cooling off period or about feelings. The replies are typically about the financial advice they asked about.
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#31
Sometimes it's just a look in the other direction while you're talking.
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#32
I had a coworker who would wait until I went home every evening and move the alphabet magnets on my whiteboard. It was never anything important, just a letter out of place. But it was so obvious! I saw it as soon as I came in! It drove me nuts!
And I looked like a lunatic telling my principal that coworker was messing with my letters.
And I looked like a lunatic telling my principal that coworker was messing with my letters.
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#33
Being in a conversation with male and female colleagues, and every time you're talking, if a man pipes up, everyone turns to him whether he's interrupting you or he-peating whatever you just said.
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#34
My mom has this nasty habit of sweetly asking: can I ask you a question and you promise you won't get mad?
1) She knows it's going to infuriate me
2) if I tell her no, she is going to ask anyway.
No matter what she has "politely started an argument.
1) She knows it's going to infuriate me
2) if I tell her no, she is going to ask anyway.
No matter what she has "politely started an argument.
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#35
People casually but repeatedly bringing up your age or your relationship status.
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#36
When I’m clearly expected to do something, it’s on my list to do, and I’m the only one who has done work on the assignment, the question “have we done this yet?” This is my most recent pet peeve.
No, *we* have not done anything. *I* wrote something, revised it, and did everything including adding *your* signature.
Another that makes me feel crazy is when people remove niceties from an email. “Hi Name,” becomes “Name:” .
No, *we* have not done anything. *I* wrote something, revised it, and did everything including adding *your* signature.
Another that makes me feel crazy is when people remove niceties from an email. “Hi Name,” becomes “Name:” .
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#37
The singular Pride-themed thing I regularly carry is a rainbow wallet. A cashier looked at it silently for several seconds as I looked for the needed bills and then said “Merry Christmas.” I said thank you, you too because asking him if he thought that I would be one of those War on Christmas people would have been absurd and also because I was thankful for the holiday cheer.
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#38
Being the only guy addressed as "bud" in a group of men.
"Okay, bud". "Thanks, bud.".
"Okay, bud". "Thanks, bud.".
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#39
Being asked where you are from. As an immigrant who's been a citizen for decades... Any single one of those questions is innocent, but when you get asked that same question several times a week by randos for half of your life, it really wears on you. It's basically being reminded that you will always be an outsider. .
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#40
My grandma (a white woman) would gush over my sister who is white. I’m more Native American passing. Granted, my sister is tall, blonde and very pretty. One time we came to my grandma’s house and my sister walked in and my grandma immediately said “oh -sister-, you’re so beautiful, you could be a model.” When I walked in she said “you’re cute too.”.
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