Keeping a secret is hard. But revealing it might also not be easy, especially if it’s related to the people you love. That might be one of the reasons why many people keep certain things to themselves for years or only share them anonymously if they need the load lifted off their shoulders.
A bunch of ‘Ask Reddit’ community members have recently lifted such a load, after one user asked them to share the darkest family secrets they could never tell anyone. Their stories ranged from upsetting to absolutely shocking and everything in between, with many being worthy of a horror movie scenario, but if you’re brave enough to see what they entailed, you can find them on the list below. Just bear in mind that some of them are seriously disturbing and browse them at your own risk.
Below, you will find not only the secrets but also Bored Panda’s interviews with the OP themselves, as well as with Jennifer Guttman, PsyD, a psychologist and author of Beyond Happiness, who was kind enough to answer a few of our questions.
#1
My last name shouldn't be my last name. My great grandfather got it off a tombstone while on the run from the law. My great grandma found out she wasn't legally married after 30 yrs and 5 sons. She ended up in some mental institution in New Orleans and got a lobotomy over it.
She raised me till her death and she was an amazing woman that didn't deserve any of it. She was from the south but studied medicine and wasn't allowed to practice so she ended up teaching black kids to read to p**s off her father. She was one of the first women to vote and have a drivers license in Georgia.
An all around amazing woman that I'm lucky to have been around. She was born in 1899, RIP Irene.
She raised me till her death and she was an amazing woman that didn't deserve any of it. She was from the south but studied medicine and wasn't allowed to practice so she ended up teaching black kids to read to p**s off her father. She was one of the first women to vote and have a drivers license in Georgia.
An all around amazing woman that I'm lucky to have been around. She was born in 1899, RIP Irene.
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122points
#2
The darkest family secret used to be that grandma [ended] two husbands. But since she's died and out of reach of the law, I'm telling everyone lmao. My grandma was a bad a*s and was willing to do whatever it took to protect her children. Those guys chose the wrong woman when hunting for children to harm.
95points
#3
I tell people this all the time, but it's considered pretty taboo by a lot of my family.
My MIL is married to a very religious man, who is very judgmental/outspoken about what's right/wrong.
He's very active in his church (which he constantly reminds people that his father 'built', whatever that means) and will freely remind you that taking the lord's name in vain, or living together before marriage is your free ticket to hell.
The thing is, he's a serial adulterer. He was married to his first wife for over 20 years, and cheated on her almost the entire time.
In fact, he had a long-running affair with my MIL when she was in her 40's. She broke it off because he refused to leave his wife.
When his first wife died, he was knocking on my MIL's door looking for "companionship" before the wife was even buried.
We know of at least two other women with whom he carried on for multiple years.
Apparently in his mind, swearing and failing to go to church every week are mortal sins, but that stuff about adultery was only a suggestion.
I'm always sure to point this out to the young people in my family whenever he drops his holier-than-thou judgements on their lifestyle.
"Say what you will. It's true that I haven't set foot in a church since my wedding 20 years ago. But since then, I never slept with anyone but my wife in that time, either." -Me, at Christmas.
My MIL is married to a very religious man, who is very judgmental/outspoken about what's right/wrong.
He's very active in his church (which he constantly reminds people that his father 'built', whatever that means) and will freely remind you that taking the lord's name in vain, or living together before marriage is your free ticket to hell.
The thing is, he's a serial adulterer. He was married to his first wife for over 20 years, and cheated on her almost the entire time.
In fact, he had a long-running affair with my MIL when she was in her 40's. She broke it off because he refused to leave his wife.
When his first wife died, he was knocking on my MIL's door looking for "companionship" before the wife was even buried.
We know of at least two other women with whom he carried on for multiple years.
Apparently in his mind, swearing and failing to go to church every week are mortal sins, but that stuff about adultery was only a suggestion.
I'm always sure to point this out to the young people in my family whenever he drops his holier-than-thou judgements on their lifestyle.
"Say what you will. It's true that I haven't set foot in a church since my wedding 20 years ago. But since then, I never slept with anyone but my wife in that time, either." -Me, at Christmas.
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93points
Talking to Bored Panda about the thread, the OP shared that they wanted to ask a question that they wouldn’t necessarily expect many responses to. But quite a few people shared their stories, in many cases, opening a can of worms that few people could have seen coming.
“I had not expected to see some responses that were a bit more dark, to say the least,” the redditor said. They added that their family, too, is not immune to secrets, but they’d rather keep them to themselves. Wondering why many people didn’t refrain from sharing the darkest secrets of their kin, the OP speculated that it was likely the anonymity that Reddit provides that made it easier for netizens to open up.
#4
My great grandfather was well known in town 80 years ago for trying to publicly [end] himself a bunch of times before finally succeeding, I didn’t know until I was 20 and found his obituary. I’m named after him and as a kid my pediatrician, who was really old, always asked about my mental health and encouraged me to talk to a therapist about any dark thoughts I may have. I think the doctor remembered my great grandfathers story and wanted to make sure I didn’t go that way.
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75points
#5
The IRA gave my granddad a full military funeral. Nobody alive has any idea why.
65points
Jennifer Guttman, PsyD, seconded the idea that anonymity makes it easier for some people to open up or reveal secrets. “It allows them to distance themselves from the information they’ve been keeping secret. It’s the first step in opening up. It allows them to say or write it even if they aren’t taking responsibility. That’s a big step for some people. Whether it’s sharing the information openly or anonymously, getting the secret out is better for a person’s overall wellbeing.”
#6
Don't think it matters here in the United States but my Great Grandfather, from Japan, was a Buraku (a social caste seen as unclean and impure in Japan) and he had to get fake family history papers and IDs in order to marry my great grandmother. He got the fake papers and IDs from a friend who may or may not have ties to the Yakuza, not really sure, but that's how the story was told to me by my father.
65points
#7
My great grandfather would smuggle in alcohol from Canada during prohibition. It was also illegal for native Americans to drink in local bars. But he would invite them in and claim they weren't native Americans but they were from Mexico so they could drink with him. He also had a brother who ran away and joined the circus and eventually became a Hollywood prop man.
I also had a great Uncle that [hurt] his wife so badly she [ended] him. She was one of the first women to win the court case using the battered spouse defense.
A few generations back part of my family were LDS polygamists . Fortunately I'm not directly descended from them.
It's nuts all the dirt you find when doing genealogy!
I also had a great Uncle that [hurt] his wife so badly she [ended] him. She was one of the first women to win the court case using the battered spouse defense.
A few generations back part of my family were LDS polygamists . Fortunately I'm not directly descended from them.
It's nuts all the dirt you find when doing genealogy!
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62points
#8
No one knows where my uncle came from.
So my grandfather was a very high-ranking policeman, but also a raging a*****e. My nana unfortunately had a stillborn baby, and my very Catholic grandfather was a right d**k about her grief. He refused to acknowledge the baby as having any right to be buried in the family cemetery as it was not baptized. Nana suffered ernomously in her grief, and Grandad was sick of it.
So, one day he comes home with a newborn, told Nana they had adopted him and she could stop crying now.
And that was my uncle.
He came with zero paperwork. No birth certificate, no adoption papers, nothing.
Our best guess is that he was the baby of an incarcerated woman, but as both grandparents have passed away now, we really don't know for sure. I personally don't care about the legacy of an angry and abusive man, but the rest of the family keep it under tight wraps so that his service history with the police won't be tarnished over the fact that we're pretty sure he stole a baby.
So my grandfather was a very high-ranking policeman, but also a raging a*****e. My nana unfortunately had a stillborn baby, and my very Catholic grandfather was a right d**k about her grief. He refused to acknowledge the baby as having any right to be buried in the family cemetery as it was not baptized. Nana suffered ernomously in her grief, and Grandad was sick of it.
So, one day he comes home with a newborn, told Nana they had adopted him and she could stop crying now.
And that was my uncle.
He came with zero paperwork. No birth certificate, no adoption papers, nothing.
Our best guess is that he was the baby of an incarcerated woman, but as both grandparents have passed away now, we really don't know for sure. I personally don't care about the legacy of an angry and abusive man, but the rest of the family keep it under tight wraps so that his service history with the police won't be tarnished over the fact that we're pretty sure he stole a baby.
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60points
Discussing the effect keeping secrets from family members can have on a person and their relationships, the expert noted that such secrecy can make family relationships feel less genuine and more guarded.
“This can lead to increasing feelings of tension or awkwardness and eventually reduce communication,” she told Bored Panda.
As for keeping secrets about the family and not from it, Guttman noted that it can make the secret keeper feel isolated, depressed, and anxious.
#9
Not exactly dark, but I found out my father wrote p**n novels under a pen name to make ends meet when I was a baby. I've been trying to find one ever since.
57points
#10
I had to put my dog to sleep in 2023 because she was lethargic and dehydrated, with vomiting and diarrhea, and lost the use of her back legs. I assumed - paired with her CCD - that it was time for her to go.
Three months later, I received a recall notice informing me that a batch of her prescription dog food was formulated incorrectly, causing the exact symptoms (minus the CCD) she experienced the night before I had her euthanized. I threw the notice away and never told anyone about it.
Three months later, I received a recall notice informing me that a batch of her prescription dog food was formulated incorrectly, causing the exact symptoms (minus the CCD) she experienced the night before I had her euthanized. I threw the notice away and never told anyone about it.
57points
#11
I've told this story but it's still pretty f*****g dark. My great grandmother's father was a family annihilator and [ended] her mom and all 4 of her siblings when she was very young (5 or 6). While he was [attacking] everyone else she hid under the porch. Apparently he called her name looking for her for hours before finally giving up and committing [self-harm]. She was the only survivor. I didn't find this out until after she had passed away when I was in my teens.
Edit: I know it's technically my great great grandfather but f**k that and f**k him.
Edit: I know it's technically my great great grandfather but f**k that and f**k him.
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56points
“The secret keeper may experience somatic symptoms of distress such as headaches, insomnia, and loss of appetite,” Guttman continued, discussing how keeping secrets can influence a person’s well-being. “Keeping secrets can also lead to difficulty focusing or making decisions in other areas of the person’s life because they are distracted by the energy it’s taking to keep the secret.”
#12
My mom gave birth on the floor of her apartment. I used to think it was because it happened so fast, that's what she always said. I recently learned it was because she was in denial she was pregnant and never got any prenatal care..denied it up until the baby was literally coming out of her.
53points
#13
Already been said on here, but might as well say again.
I'm half-Japanese and half American. My Japanese grandpa fought against the Chinese in WW2 (though he was forced into service despite how much he didn't want to). He saw minimal fighting and was not part of any of the Japanese atrocities (Reddit is bad at understanding that not all the Japanese soldiers back then were not barbaric).
He only told two short stories of his time in war.
1.) When Japan was leaving Shanghai during the end of the war, my grandpa lost a coin toss with his friends for the first boat out. He sat on the docks as he watched the boat with all his friends and half his company get blown up by allied bombers.
2.) Last military mission. Hiroshima was bombed. He was ordered to find survivors if any. He only said, "We were told to find survivors... We only found ash."
After the war, he became a diplomat for Japan from 1950-1998 advocating heavily for peace and being anti-war. He never told anyone, besides my grandma, about his military service. Only found out about his past when he was nearing the end of his life.
I wouldn't call this dark, but more of "Oh... Right. I have family that actually fought against the 'good guys' in WW2 technically... This is a weird feeling."
I'm half-Japanese and half American. My Japanese grandpa fought against the Chinese in WW2 (though he was forced into service despite how much he didn't want to). He saw minimal fighting and was not part of any of the Japanese atrocities (Reddit is bad at understanding that not all the Japanese soldiers back then were not barbaric).
He only told two short stories of his time in war.
1.) When Japan was leaving Shanghai during the end of the war, my grandpa lost a coin toss with his friends for the first boat out. He sat on the docks as he watched the boat with all his friends and half his company get blown up by allied bombers.
2.) Last military mission. Hiroshima was bombed. He was ordered to find survivors if any. He only said, "We were told to find survivors... We only found ash."
After the war, he became a diplomat for Japan from 1950-1998 advocating heavily for peace and being anti-war. He never told anyone, besides my grandma, about his military service. Only found out about his past when he was nearing the end of his life.
I wouldn't call this dark, but more of "Oh... Right. I have family that actually fought against the 'good guys' in WW2 technically... This is a weird feeling."
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50points
#14
I found out right before she died that my grandmother was r**ed by her brother when she was 16. She was pregnant and my grandfather married her and raised the child as his own.
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49points
#15
My Great Grandfather was a member of the Klan Wrecking Crew in Mississippi in the teens and twenties. He later became something called the Grand Kleagle I think.
So yeah, he was a racist a*****e.
So yeah, he was a racist a*****e.
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48points
#16
My uncle didn't die in a car accident. He [ended] his mistress and then [ended] himself by crashing his car with her body in the trunk.
45points
#17
My great grandpa robbed a bank and did serious time for it. This was a big secret, but it all came to light when my great uncle tried to join the FBI as a forensic accountant. Needless to say, he wasn’t hired.
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44points
#18
Like so many others, during The Depression my great-grandfather lost his job. His wife and their baby son moved back in with her parents but they wouldn’t let my great-grandfather come with them. He had to sleep on benches, stand in bread lines and try to find work to send money to his wife and baby.
Why?
Turns out the great-grands had knocked boots before they were married (Irish Catholic), which ultimately resulted in the birth of the aforementioned baby. They did get married before the baby was born, but my great-grandma’s parents never forgave what they viewed as his fault. From what I understand, he was a gruff, but good man who worked a blue collar job to send his four children to expensive private schools. That baby grew up to be an engineer who helped design airplanes and the NASA space shuttle.
Why?
Turns out the great-grands had knocked boots before they were married (Irish Catholic), which ultimately resulted in the birth of the aforementioned baby. They did get married before the baby was born, but my great-grandma’s parents never forgave what they viewed as his fault. From what I understand, he was a gruff, but good man who worked a blue collar job to send his four children to expensive private schools. That baby grew up to be an engineer who helped design airplanes and the NASA space shuttle.
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44points
#19
My brother committed [self-harm]. I helped my mother and sister pick up the pieces. They both viewed me as somebody very safe and responsible and comforting, and nobody in the family has ever found out that I failed to complete my own attempt years before he did, spending four days in hospital and two months off sick.
He was always better at things than me.
He was always better at things than me.
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42points
#20
My two older brothers are adopted, their bio mom was my dad's sister. It was common knowledge that their mom was [ended] while being a high paid escort. I had no idea they never knew this their entire life. Onetime my brother said something about wondering where his mom was because she left when he was a kid, and I was like holy moly that's not what happened. My brothers were in their 40s when they finally found out.
41points