Kids have no filter, and we love collecting all the unhinged things they say. One group of people who have an endless supply of these gems is teachers.
So after Reddit user Loud_Bluejay_6663 asked them to share the craziest family lore a student has told them, the replies immediately flew in.
From embarrassing injury reports to confessions about secret relatives, I guess it's easier to spill the tea when you're still figuring out the rules of the world.
#1

A 2nd grader: "my mom said that once my dad learns a few things, he might could come home but right now he's in "time out" for adults because he messed up REALLY bad and the judge said he gets a BIG time out. He doesn't have to stay in a chair though, he gets a room.".
58points
#2

I taught preschool. One of my favorite 4-year-old kiddos was just coloring with me at the end of a long day. Suddenly he looked me straight in the eyes and said, “Hey. My Mommy used to be a boy. She still has boy parts. I grew in different belly and then my Mommy took me out and that was that. I know you thought she’s always been a mommy. She hides it good.”
And then casually went back to coloring a cat picture.
I never in a thousand years would have known had he not spilled the beans. Hopefully he felt good getting that out? Hope you’re doing well in elementary school Sam!
And then casually went back to coloring a cat picture.
I never in a thousand years would have known had he not spilled the beans. Hopefully he felt good getting that out? Hope you’re doing well in elementary school Sam!
49points
#3

"Mummy is sleeping in a different room because it isn't daddy's baby in her tummy" .
38points
#4

I was an "extra course" teacher for 2 weeks at the boys-only school.
One of the boys (12) asked me: "Aren't you afraid to be in a class full of men?" (haha... 12yo... "men"). I said I do not, and why should I?
To my horror, this 14yo said "Because my dad has seen you and said you should be, and that if you're not - he cannot wait to have a meeting with you. He said women should be afraid."
I never met the dad. I told about it to the main teacher and my colleague I was teaching with though (both men). I hope the kid (and his mom) are ok.
One of the boys (12) asked me: "Aren't you afraid to be in a class full of men?" (haha... 12yo... "men"). I said I do not, and why should I?
To my horror, this 14yo said "Because my dad has seen you and said you should be, and that if you're not - he cannot wait to have a meeting with you. He said women should be afraid."
I never met the dad. I told about it to the main teacher and my colleague I was teaching with though (both men). I hope the kid (and his mom) are ok.
38points
#5

I was a 1st grade math and reading tutor. 20 years ago, I complimented Allison on her beautiful winter coat. She told me her mom walked into someone’s house and got it for her. She told me that’s how she got her boots too. I asked her if that happens a lot and she said, “yeah especially before we go visit daddy in prison. We’re going this weekend!!”
I looked at the teacher and she just kind of did a little nod and shrug and moved on.
So anyway, seems mom didn’t want daddy to worry about them while he was doing time, but yeah they were not ok.
Allison was genuinely the sweetest girl in the whole class. I wonder how she’s doing now. I hope the universe is taking care of her.
I looked at the teacher and she just kind of did a little nod and shrug and moved on.
So anyway, seems mom didn’t want daddy to worry about them while he was doing time, but yeah they were not ok.
Allison was genuinely the sweetest girl in the whole class. I wonder how she’s doing now. I hope the universe is taking care of her.
37points
#6

I had an elementary student ask me to not put out the newspaper that day because her dads arrest was on the front page /:.
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36points
#7

So this is a core memory for me.not really family lore but it showed a glimpse into what must go on in the house.
I'm teaching kids gymnastics during high school and there's one girl maybe 6. She always wore clunky costume jewelry which was cute because she matched her grandmother who would drop her off. Anyway it's just at the start of class and I'm letting them jump on the trampoline as kids funnel in. She's happy and jumping one minute, and the next she is full on sobbing. I figured she landed on an ankle wrong or something so I go over to comfort her and she sobs 'I'M SAD BECAUSE JESUS SACRIFICED FOR OUR SINS AND I MISS HIM' and I'm just...not really sure what to do - so I told we can go get a drink from the water fountain and calm down. She calmed down and went about class but...full on sobbing??? You miss Jesus??? I just remember thinking 'im not super Jewish but I am TOO Jewish for this situation lol'.
I'm teaching kids gymnastics during high school and there's one girl maybe 6. She always wore clunky costume jewelry which was cute because she matched her grandmother who would drop her off. Anyway it's just at the start of class and I'm letting them jump on the trampoline as kids funnel in. She's happy and jumping one minute, and the next she is full on sobbing. I figured she landed on an ankle wrong or something so I go over to comfort her and she sobs 'I'M SAD BECAUSE JESUS SACRIFICED FOR OUR SINS AND I MISS HIM' and I'm just...not really sure what to do - so I told we can go get a drink from the water fountain and calm down. She calmed down and went about class but...full on sobbing??? You miss Jesus??? I just remember thinking 'im not super Jewish but I am TOO Jewish for this situation lol'.
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35points
#8

Daycare. “My mom isn’t wearing panties today!” Proceeds to mime lifting a skirt- “she said look at this Daniel (dad)!”.
33points
#9

4th grader: “My mom and dad aren’t together anymore because I took a video of my mom cheating and sent it to my dad”.
32points
#10

“On new years, my dad drank too many bottles and got really mad so now he has to go live somewhere else for a few months to learn to not be so mad”.
32points
#11

Had a kid tell me that she wouldn’t be in the next day. When I asked why, she said her dad was in debt with some bad people after him, so they had to leave. Sure enough, student never came back.
32points
#12

Teacher to smelly kid: "I think you need to have a bath when you get home"
Smelly kid: "Can't have a bath coz Colleen (sibling) sleeps in the bath."
Teacher was obviously horrified. Smelly kid was one of 6+ kids in the family and space was limited.
Smelly kid: "Can't have a bath coz Colleen (sibling) sleeps in the bath."
Teacher was obviously horrified. Smelly kid was one of 6+ kids in the family and space was limited.
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31points
#13

Im not a school teacher but I used to teach a summer educational program in a national park. We had kids from all over the US. One day, a new group of teens is meeting each other and discussing regional stereotypes. There’s this tough kid from rural Louisiana and someone asks him “is it true that everyone’s parents are cousins down there?” And he blankly responds “Im not gonna say yes or no but I’ll tell you I’m the only one on my baseball team who’s not related to another player” .
31points
#14

6 year old, first thing he said when he walked in one morning. “My dad is an alcoholic and he uses the system.
I can only imagine what his mom must have been saying on the drive to schools.
I can only imagine what his mom must have been saying on the drive to schools.
29points
#15

Once a 4th grader pointed to another kid on the playground and said “see that kid? He used to be my brother but then his dad cheated on my mom so he’s not my brother anymore”.
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28points
#16

While student teaching I had a student without me even asking proudly come up and tell me about how his mom’s two boyfriends weren’t getting along as well as they used to.
28points
#17

Had a kid and her mom come into the room where there were a lot of other parents and from across the room the child apologized for being late and went on to say they were late because her mom opened a kitchen cabinet and it was covered in cockroaches. The mother looked like she was going to melt from the embarrassment.
27points
#18
A second grader explained that her cousin (who was in 4th grade, same school) was not her cousin but her sister, and her daddy had had 3 wives but “she couldn’t tell anyone or they’d send the police over again.”
That explained the minivan full of kids at pickup.
That explained the minivan full of kids at pickup.
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26points
#19

A student once told me her mom was on tinder. I was like oh, interesting, and she's like yeah it means she's cheating on my dad. Oh is that what that meant? And then she said "Yeah, I saw her bio and it said she was looking for a third person soo"
Pretended to not know what that meant and I doubt she did either.
Pretended to not know what that meant and I doubt she did either.
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26points
#20

When I worked at an after school care program for rich Montessori kids, a preschooler told me "grandpa got mad at mommy cause she drank too much red juice and throwed up on the table, last night!".
23points


