35 Times People Got Fired In The Blink Of An Eye

This is the opposite of what usually happens, but I thought it was pretty funny. My boss was away on business and I managed a tea shop near a Starbucks years ago. This kid came in (he was from abroad) and said he was supposed to start today. We were hiring and I trained him, etc. My boss came back two days later and had no idea. The kid was in the wrong place, but he stayed with us. He was hired on the spot without even applying.

An intern on his first day, decided to open the door of a room where a few of the seniors were having an important meeting. He briefly lifted his leg up, farted and walked away laughing.

He got fired on the spot.

I worked at McDonalds in high school. We had a kid take the cash drawer, jump the counter, and run on his first day. The dumbass had fully filled out all his paperwork and everything with his real name and address though.

3 days

New nurse didn't feel like being transferred to another area to work after 2 people called out. Started yelling at the nurse manager. However, the NMs regional manager was also visiting that day, so she went over to the shouting nurse and said, "your manager asked you to please go work in building 3 today. Please pack up your things and go to 3 for the day."

New nurse: "who the f**k are you?! Get out of my face!"

She was fired by the regional nurse manager and escorted out by security 20 minutes later.

Onboarding with a colleague. Saw a female coworker. Said “Bet she needs to get railed reaaaal good.” Colleague: “That’s my twin sister. I’ll get you your papers, please go change.”

Took less than ten minutes from entering the facility to standing jobless in the parking lot.

Before he even clocked in. Showing up drunk for your first day as a truck driver is frowned upon by management.

Isolated mine in Western Australia where you need to fly in to get to work.

New start on their first day complains about tooth ache. Our on-site med team don't do dental so they offered to fly him back to Perth to see a dentist. He accepts and just goes radio silent. No response to calls, texts or emails. After a couple of weeks it's assumed that he has abandoned his employment and is formally terminated.

A few months later a supervisor gets an email from him apologising and explaining that he had to do some time in prison. And can he come back to work...

A 20 year guy got hired to work the seafood counter. See him twice and then never again. Asked a coworker what happened.

He had closed seafood one night and was walking out of the store and the 6 pounds of crab legs he'd stuffed down the back of his pants fell out in front of the closing manager.

Not my story but this happened to a friend. Orientation was all virtual due to COVID, and on the 1st day one of the girls forgot she was on mute when she decided to talk to her boyfriend about working with the "Jewbags".

Now, antisemitism is never a good thing. But it turns out that it's particularly inadvisable when you work at an investment banking firm in New York City. She was gone from the system by the 2nd day of orientation.

Less than 2 hours. Worked in a kitchen. New guy came in for his first shift, gets asked to make food for the staff. Cutting up chicken to marinate, went to make the salad, didn't wash hands in-between. So... cross contamination. Turns out he didn't believe in bacteria. .

Started training a new waitress who got into a screaming match with a customer over how to pronounce quinoa. She lasted exactly 37 minutes. Manager just pointed to the door without saying a word.

I work in IT. At my last job this older (50-60ish) guy lied on his resume and in his interview an insane amount. He ended up getting the job he applied for in the finance department. We got his gear set up at his desk and I met him when he arrived on his first day. It was very apparent to us that he knew absolutely nothing about using computers. He couldn't open outlook, use Excel or any of the office suite at all, and seemed completely lost in front of his computer. His new manager soon came to this realization as well and he was let go before 12:00 on his first day.

Fastest turnaround I've ever seen in my whole career.

We had a morning “toolbox talk” to introduce the new guy… the boss made an announcement and introduced them and said what they would be doing and asked the new guy to say a few words… he gets up and the first words out of this guys mouth is “morning c#&ts”. The boss interjected and said, “you know what, don’t bother…” and told the guy to leave immediately… we all just sat there like stunned mullets.

New coworker (f30 ish) sat next to me (m25) in the office. Started sending me teams messages of underwear randomly that she owned (links to shop websites).

Constant touches on, the leg, weird comments here and there, even after me asking her to stop.

Called it out to my manager, she was fired the next day, a week into her starting.

Glad they took it as seriously as they did.

Came in, decided she didn't like the color of the walls, fought with the boss about painting them because the current color didn't match her social media vibe, was fired after ten minutes, then tried to sue the boss because she wanted to quit before he fired her, apparently she couldn't think of a way to make herself the victim in the story for her social media.

Three weeks. Which you may be thinking isn't fast, but as a doctor is like lightning.


We had a new doctor in the emergency department who was hired during covid to fill some of the rota gaps and he seemed friendly enough. He got put on his first week of nights and didn't see a single patient, he just disappeared into the rest of the hospital. He was caught asking a first year resident how to read a hip x-ray (that was clearly fractured). He had to have all his patients re-evaluated because then his work was being brought under review. It was an absolute nightmare. Hiring standards during covid got pretty loose because we were stretched to f**k, but that sure was something. I've never seen a doctor show up and disappear that fast.


As an aside, a doctor hired alongside him was openly worse than the level of seniority he was hired at, was open about it, was dropped down to the appropriate level to train at, and everyone appreciated that the guy knew his limits. .

We had a chef turn up for a trial week and was put on deserts. First night he drank a whole bottle of Malibu that was meant for the fruit cocktail and got sent home for being too pissed. Following morning he turned up early ready for work and had no memory of being sacked the night before.

New barman.
Started work at 11am
Helped himself to drinks behind the bar.
Called a regular a c**t.
Told people the food wasn't great.
Flirted with the manager's wife.
Caught ringing up half pints instead of pints and pocketing the difference.
Left at 12:30pm.

I work in IT and we had a new employee starting on our customer service team. I met with all new employees to do their IT onboarding. So we are walking through getting signed into everything when one of my female colleagues came into my office to get a mouse. The new guy stands up and tells her he has a mouse for her, and motions to his crotch. I immediately sent my HR a message and they came with security and escorted him out. He was there maybe 25 minutes.

I sat him down and welcomed him to the company. During the orientation myself and other employees emphasized that smoking and vaping are prohibited in the building. It’s a big deal and we have signs everywhere stating so. I gave examples of why it’s prohibited and sent them on a 15 minute break.

The boss walks into the bathroom into a cloud of vape smoke. When I asked him his response was. “I was in the bathroom, it’s a private area, you can’t tell me what I can do in a bathroom stall”. I walked him out of the building.

He lasted two hours and blew a decent salary for our area.