“I Feel Violated”: Woman Lands In Coworker’s “Hear Me Out Cake”

Common sense and common decency would both suggest that you probably should not hit on your coworkers. Of course, this doesn’t mean that some folks won’t skip this suggestion entirely, tanking their careers in the process.

A woman asked the internet what she should do after discovering that a male coworker had literally printed out a picture of her and put it on a “hear me out” cake.

For the uninitiated, here is a simple breakdown of a “hear me out cake”. A group of friends take an unadorned cake, which can be store bought or home made, and stick little “flags” with a person (or thing) that they fancy. To be clear, the implication is intimate, this isn’t just about a crush. There is a catch. The reason it’s called a “hear me out” cake is because the people, things, characters being placed are not, typically, considered conventionally attractive. We’ll get back to that later.

So the idea is that one puts pictures of something or someone you are into, but you need to make your friends “hear you out” about it. However, in the pursuit of this trend, it has become abundantly clear that many men do not exactly get it. Instead of placing an image of someone you wouldn’t expect them to be into, they tend to just use this as an excuse to list conventionally attractive people.

This is why, in the context of the story, the woman’s sister, unhelpfully, suggested that she just take it as a compliment. This is probably how the young man envisioned his move, although it does also mark him as someone who truly does not understand how the challenge works. However, that isn’t really the worst thing he did.

Hitting on your coworkers is generally a bad idea because workplace relationships come with high risks and lasting consequences. When you mix romance with professional environments, personal dynamics can quickly become complicated. Even if the feelings are mutual, relationships can lead to awkward situations, favoritism concerns, or strained team dynamics. If the interest is one-sided, it can create discomfort or even escalate to accusations of harassment, which can damage reputations and careers.

Workplaces thrive on professionalism and teamwork, but romantic advances can blur those lines. When one person makes a move, it can put the other in a tough spot, they may feel pressured to act polite to avoid conflict, even if they’re uncomfortable. This can lead to an unspoken tension that affects how well coworkers collaborate. In environments where teamwork is key, that awkwardness doesn’t just stay between two people, it can ripple through the whole team.

Power dynamics also make things tricky. If a supervisor or someone in a position of authority hits on a subordinate, it introduces issues of consent and fairness. Even if the relationship is entirely consensual, other coworkers may perceive favoritism, which can hurt morale. In some cases, people stay silent out of fear for their job security, which can foster a toxic work culture.

Even if things start well, relationships don’t always last, and when they end, you still have to see that person every day. Breakups are hard enough without having to navigate them at work, where professionalism is expected regardless of personal feelings. This can lead to gossip, tension, or even one party leaving the job entirely to escape the situation.