#1 In Honor Of World Down Syndrome Day, My Brother And His Fiancée. Together Since Their 1983 High School Prom - 40 Years
I don’t know about you, dear Pandas, but scrolling through all of these then-and-now pictures made me wonder about the secret of a long-term, successful relationship. While there’s no magic potion for it, and every couple has their own non-negotiables, relationship coaching experts from Max-Well Coaching, Sally and Zach Maxwell, propose that 3 primary values should do the trick.
"The first is a shared value around personal evolution. We’ve all come across people in our lives who are the 'I am who I am, don’t try to change me' type. This attitude is cancer for intimate relationships. Having a shared value around personal evolution means that both members of the relationship are committed to their own personal growth as well as to the growth of the relationship over time," Maxwells explain.
"Needs, beliefs, and desires—all of these things need breathing room to grow and change, and without a shared value around personal evolution, the relationship will stagnate or break under the pressure of inflexibility."
#4 Today My Wife Is Officially Under 200 Lbs And I Was Finally Able To Do A Chin Up For The First Time In My Life
#6 My Parents 1974. My Dad Still Cheers When Ever My Mom Gets A Jeopardy Answer Right
The second value the relationship experts mention is transparency and communication.
"It is our core belief and one that we teach all our clients, that healthy relationships require total transparency and honesty in communication. In other words, no secrets or withholding. Any conversation is allowed to be put on the table. A shared value around total honesty and transparency, and a willingness to have any conversation, no matter how challenging it may be, is a key foundational value that every successful long-term modern relationship needs."
#7 72 Years Of Marriage
#9 My Grandparents. Bottom Photo: Their Wedding Night, December 1945. Top Photo: Their 69th Wedding Anniversary. They're The Epitome Of Soulmates
In a world of failed marriages, they were a shining light of what love really is because even when they squabbled, they continued to hold hands and give little kisses throughout the day. When my grandpa died, I mourned the loss of this strong, intelligent man, but I also mourned that piece that died in my grandma, too.
The third value that is crucial in a long-lasting relationship is intimacy.
"We’ve written before about the importance of intimacy in relationships and about how intimacy needs to be related to as a mandatory part of an intimate relationship. All that being said, everybody’s sexual needs and desires are different, so what’s most important here is that you and your partner share the same values or belief system around intimacy," Maxwells note.
"If one of you feels that intimate life is very important to you, and the other doesn’t, no amount of similar interests will save that misalignment of value. You need to be with somebody who has a similar belief system around intimacy as you do. Mismatched libidos are common in relationships, but a mismatched belief system around intimacy and sexuality spells trouble and likely infidelity in the long run."
#10 My Wife And I From 16 To 36. From Best Friends, To Girlfriends, To Wives, To Mommies
#11 My Parents In 1975 And Again In 2020. They’ve Been Married And Playing Music Together For Over 45 Years Now
#12 Mom And Dad On Their Wedding Day In 1980 vs. 2024 (Celebrating 44 Years Of Marriage)
Nowadays, many discussions are floating around about the importance of knowing your partner’s love language and them knowing yours, which can improve communication, deepen intimacy, strengthen relationships, and help both parties feel more appreciative of each other. So we asked our interviewed experts if they agree that knowing each other’s love languages can help couples have a more successful relationship.
"Absolutely. People not only receive love, but GIVE love in their own love language. So, most people give their love language to their partner, but their partner doesn't receive it as effectively because that love isn't given in the love language that they most easily receive," Maxwells explain.
"For example, my husband's love language is words of affirmation, and he tells me all of the time how much he loves me. My love language is acts of service. His words of affirmation feel good, and he feels like he is giving me lots of love, but it doesn't totally resonate with me the way acts of service do. When he loves me through acts of service (like making me a cappuccino), I melt, because I really feel the love in the way that I'm most attuned to feeling it."
#16 1990- 2024 Married For 34 Years. Together Since 1988. We've Both Changed So Much
#17 Pic From Our First Date 30 Years Ago Today And Us Now (Married 24 Years)
Another thing that is crucial in a long-lasting relationship is being able to handle misunderstandings in a way that strengthens, rather than damages, the relationship. The secret to this is, again, quite simple. It's learning how to talk about anything.
"And we mean anything. In our almost 20 years of being together, we both practice and teach our clients that the foundation of any strong, long-lasting intimacy is total honesty and transparency. In other words, the ability to talk about anything. No matter how you slice it, a rock-solid relationship where both profound love and freedom can exist is only possible with profound honesty," Maxwells say.
