You can’t go wrong with having some of the funniest dad jokes in your book of humor.
The good thing about these jokes is that they can be funny and corny. It’s a difficult balance to strike correctly, so it’s not a wonder why the funniest dad jokes of all time make us smile on the outside but feel a bit ashamed on the inside. May it be a Facebook meme or a quick Instagram post, dad jokes can be found everywhere, but for them to be funny, there has to be some effort put into them.
When it comes to the best dad jokes ever, they have to be a bit corny. It is where the humor and cringe part comes from.
Playing with the words said by children and other people, making fun of the event that just happened — nothing is safe from the humor of dads. Corny dad jokes make fun of the situation at hand to try and cheer up the people around. The cornier it is, the funnier it will be. While you might not laugh at what a dad says now, when the same situation comes up for you, the puns will come out of you, too.
Dads are not the only ones with a book full of funny and corny jokes — we have one, too. Below, we compiled some corny and funny dad jokes that you can tell your father or friends. Be sure to upvote the jokes and puns you think are funny. If you have your own to share, do so in the comments below and wait for reactions.
#1
“I’ve been a dad for 26 years, so this is the real deal: I was abducted by a group of mimes. They did unspeakable things to me.”
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30points
#2
“Dad at lunch.
Dad: ‘Do you have anything cheap cuz I’m not that hungry.’
Waiter: ‘Well, maybe the chicken strips for $6.’
Dad: ‘Well, maybe it does, but that doesn’t help my hunger.’”
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28points
#3
“Dad: ‘Did you know that the people living nearby actually can’t be buried in that cemetery.’
Kid: ‘Why?’
Dad: ‘Because they’re not dead yet.’”
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28points
#4
“At the park with my girls: ‘Dad, can we go play?’
Me: ‘Sure, just stay away from those trees over there.’
Girls: ‘Umm... Ok, why?’
Me: ‘I don’t know... They look a little shady to me.’”
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27points
#6
“Dad: ‘What’s a pirate’s favorite letter of the alphabet?’
Me: ‘Aaaarrrgh!’
Dad: ‘No! Tis the C they love!’”
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24points
#7
“Waitress: ‘Ok, well if you need anything, my name’s Jennifer.’
Me: ‘What’s your name if we don’t need anything?’”
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23points
#8
“Someone broke in last night and stole all my anti-depressants. I hope they’re happy.”
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21points
#11
“The only joke my dad ever uses: ‘I took up origami for a while, but I gave it up because it was too much paperwork.’”
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20points
#12
“If you see a robbery at an Apple Store does that make you an iWitness?!”
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20points
#13
“To the person who stole my glasses. I will find you, I have contacts!”
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20points
#15
“Three men are on a boat. They have four cigarettes, but nothing to light them with. So they throw a cigarette overboard and the whole boat becomes a cigarette lighter.”
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18points
#17
“When I gave dad his 50th birthday card he began to cry and said: ‘You know 1 card really would have been enough.’”
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18points
#18
“I went to buy some deodorant. They asked: ‘Ball type?’
I said: ‘No, it’s for under my arms.’”
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18points
#19
“Why did the blind man fall into the well?
Because he couldn’t see that well.”
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17points
#20
“What’s green, furry, has 4 legs and will kill you if it falls out of a tree onto you?
A pool table.”
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16points