Traditional meals associated with festivities such as Thanksgiving are often meant to reinforce the community feeling and demonstrate that nobody was left out. For this reason, not considering the preferences of other family members might sometimes prove to work against the initial goal of the celebration.
At least such was this Redditor’s stance when his wife wished to have every detail dictated by the most common Thanksgiving tradition and refused to include the only meal her husband’s mother likes to eat on Thanksgiving, resulting in the man cooking it himself so that his mom would come and enjoy the celebration as well.
More info: Reddit
A man's wife agreed to invite his mom for Thanksgiving, yet refused to include her favorite meal, forcing him to prepare it
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The man's wife likes to have all the food during the celebrations made following certain customs, exactly the way she likes it
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The man's mom has always cooked both turkey and ham for Thanksgiving, yet only ate ham
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This year the man wished to invite his mom for Thanksgiving, to which his wife agreed, yet insisted on not including ham
A man brought it to the Reddit AITA community online after he disagreed with his wife about whether they should include his mom’s beloved ham in the celebration, asking if he was a jerk to do so against his wife’s wishes.
The man explained that his wife cares a lot about things being done the “proper” way, which usually means following the tradition closely. This became a problem when one year, the man’s mother wished to celebrate Thanksgiving with her son’s family.
The man asked his wife if it would be okay if he invited his mom for Thanksgiving. The man’s wife agreed; however, she insisted that there would be no ham, as the man’s mother has always cooked both turkey and ham for Thanksgiving since his childhood, yet she would only eat ham.
The mother even offered to cook and bring the ham herself, yet when the man checked with his wife, the woman freaked out, claiming the man’s mom couldn’t cook anything. Then he suggested his wife cook it, which resulted in him being yelled at.
At this point, the man asked his mom to come, promising her there would be ham in the celebration. The man bought the ham and told his wife he would be cooking it and it wasn’t up for discussion.
The man’s wife was disappointed, bringing their daughter into the fight, so the man ended up guarding the ham for a few hours before his mom’s arrival.
The man asked his mom to come for Thanksgiving and promised her there would be ham
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The man disappointed his wife by bringing home a ham and ended up guarding it for a few hours before his mom's arrival
The Redditors judged the man was not the jerk in this situation. The most upvoted comment suggested the original poster “tell his wife to grow up”, while another commenter emphasized the difference in the mom’s and the wife’s approach, as the mom would cook the turkey for everyone and ham for herself, not suggesting that nobody can have turkey as the man’s wife did with any alternative preferences, and possibly even having a similar sense of tradition as the man's wife feels for turkey.
According to the study by Lin T. Humphrey, the context, explanations, or apologies that tend to accompany the presentation of foods referred to as traditional have to do with certain values and common expectations associated with them.
Humphrey was researching the traditional foods shared by his students and noticed that such recipes often included certain connections or references to the family, in addition to some being understood as an initiation or a bonding device.
What's your take on the situation? Please, share your thoughts in the comment section below!
Redditors shared their takes on the situation
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