#1
My husband said “f**k this, I’m not going to let her think that, time to be a Karen.” And he looked up the ADA and safety regulations on his phone, talked to every manager at the park, and then- even though he gets extremely motion sick- rode the ride with her after they agreed it actually was safe for her to do it.
It was the sexiest thing I have ever seen a person do.
#2
Steve is his 70 year old coworker. My boyfriend has had him over for Thanksgiving for the last 7 years because he doesn’t have family to spend it with, and he cannot bear the thought of leaving him here to celebrate alone.
I have always admired my boyfriend’s commitment to the village he has made for himself but that conversation really put it into perspective for me. I have a feeling he won’t be coming to my family’s Thanksgiving for as long as Steve is around… and honestly I love and admire him so, so much for it. He is such an incredible person.
#3
It was when I was assaulted by someone and in my panic I left my keys there. I was too afraid to get them back so my ex had to meet the guy who assaulted me to get the keys back. My ex said “he seemed sorry enough” after the meeting.
My ex for almost a month made me re-explain what happened nonstop. Eventually he flat out said he didn’t believe me. His mom was a police officer, she also blamed me.
Eventually I ended up meeting someone randomly and in my “f**k the world” downward spiral I told this stranger what happened to me. He told me I didn’t deserve it, hugged me, and apologized.
If a STRANGER can show more kindness than someone who says they love me, what the f**k?
I broke up with my ex that night.
Discussing the role honesty plays in relationships, clinical psychologist, marriage and family therapist Dr. Randi Gunther noted that many couples are authentic and open in some areas but not in all. Some people might have secrets, even from their partner, while others might appreciate their privacy too much to share every detail of their lives.
“Secrecy is different from privacy,” Dr. Gunther pointed out. “A secret means that one partner is distributing the resources of the relationship, for example, financial, sexual, availability, time, energy, options, and focus, without the knowledge of the other, that impacts the life of the partner not able to vote.
“Privacy may include things like private conversations with good friends, sexual fantasies, trauma from earlier relationships, humiliating decisions made in the past that do not affect the current relationship.”
#4
I guess, I always knew he was a great guy. But now I am realizing, deep inside, he's a f*****g phenomenal guy. So glad I married this amazing human. He's an ally to all of us.
#5
We had talked about it, and I was leaning towards keeping my maiden name due to sheer laziness. His parents are pushy and can be weird about this sort of thing so the prodding was getting annoying and my husband noticed.
He told his mom: "I fell in love with FirstName - MaidenName, i don't have any idea who FirstName-HisLastName is, I'm marrying the woman I fell in love with"
When I tell you that I SWOONED. I wasn't expecting a declaration, and it was so validating, supportive, and just generally gave me this overwhelming feeling of "damn. I loved this guy before but he SEES me!"
It made me feel like a partner, an equal, like my agency was the most important thing to him and that he would actively protect and advocate for it in the marriage...
From then on I had strong feelings about keeping my name, and even stronger feelings for him. It was a small thing, but hearing how he considered me in that moment was the most attractive thing he's ever done and he's lived up to that standard since, it's also been an inspiration for me to meet him at that high bar as well. 😍
Be it revealing secrets, talking about life in general, or discussing sensitive issues with a partner, it’s important to be tactful and respectful, no matter how close or good the relationship is.
“Intimacy is highly correlated with authenticity but tact and diplomacy must be present,” Dr. Gunther emphasized. “When partners are best friends, they want to protect each other from the outside world and often are the only ones who will tell each other the truth. But ‘you are getting fat,’ will never go over as well as, ‘I’m concerned about your weight gain. Are you okay with it?’.”
#6
#7
I was a nurse and recommended something, including how/when he should take it.
He scoffed, “You’re a nurse, a doctor’s assistant. You’re not even a pharmacist.”
I realized he didn’t respect me, or nurses, at all. We broke up a month after.
#8
After he passed away, my husband said “the dog passing showed me your true colours in how selfish you are”. At that moment I knew he would never have my back, through anything.
According to Dr. Gunther, trusting that your partner will hear you without judgment when you open up to them about vulnerable things in your life is crucial for the desire to continue opening up. It can consequently strengthen the relationship, too. “If a partner feels increasingly cherished the more open they become, of course it will make the relationship deeper and more loving.
“But if partners hit below the belt in a dispute by bringing up something vulnerable that the other shared in confidence, their partners are not likely to keep opening up,” she added. “Similarly, telling others those same kinds of vulnerabilities without permission will do the same.”
#9
#10
#11
That was after i told him i loved cats and wanted go volunteer in a shelter.
But sometimes, honesty is not the key to a better relationship. On the contrary, it can bring it completely to a halt, as it did for some of the netizens in the stories on this list. For them, some of their partners’ honest opinions were too big of a red flag to continue the relationship.
According to Dr. Gunther, a red flag can be a deal breaker. “A relationship can be 90% perfect, but a deal breaker can live within that ten percent. Some are obvious at the beginning and, if not negotiable or resolvable, should end the relationship. But many people just can’t let go and keep pretending something will change that never will, until the relationship costs more than they can afford.
“Some deal breakers start off as simply annoying behaviors but, over time, will take the relationship down as one partner becomes ‘allergic’ to that behavior and begins to focus on it over the positives of the relationship.”
#12
#13
#14
In order to avoid any deal breakers down the road or have to deal with significant unexpected red flags, it might be best for partners to try and make sure early on that they share the same values. “In the quality lasting relationships I have witnessed or helped to create, the couples know they are in parallel to the same values, ethics, and morals. That is the core of trust,” Dr. Gunther told Bored Panda.
Unfortunately for some of the people on the list, the things their partners have said clashed with their values. But for some others, the conversations only brought them closer together, showing that—for better or worse—honesty plays a significant role when it comes to people’s relationships.
#15
#16
#17
#18
#19
#20
