William Baldwin

Fruit Of Eden Chapter 1

Thank you for your input shenlong :) I have gotten the same comments from other people so I will start working on the characters differently. Unfortunately for this project there is not much I can do to change the arwork but I will try and faze it out. I will also update the dialogue and speech bubble and upload them with the next chapter. The characters were made 8 years ago when I was really into One Piece so I guess the inspiration is pretty obvious. I am working on re designing the characters but there can't be much difference for the chapters that follow so there can be a consistency. Thank you for taking the time to comment :)

Fruit Of Eden Chapter 1

Terry, thank you for you input. I have gotten similar criticism from other people as well so not I can pinpoint exactly what I need to improve and will upload an updated version with the next chapter. Thank you for taking the time to comment :)

Fruit Of Eden Chapter 1

The art is kinda like one piece plagiarism, i think you should take some time to find your own art style and also work on your writing skills. But a totally great start

Fruit Of Eden Chapter 1

Also, are your characters designed in a way to show you're paying homage to other characters, or are they blatant rip offs? I see one character (Fiona) wearing Gene Simmons' Demon make-up, Brann seems to be a cross between Luffy from One Piece, and Yami from Black Clover. The old man with the chicken would also seem to be a cross between Makarov, and Bob, from Fairy Tail. In short, rein in the foul mouth, give the characters some back story, cut out the homosexual stuff, or explain why it's needed, and try to make the story flow easier from panel to panel. I got lost quite a bit.