Getting remarried when you have kids must be really challenging because the children have to accept that the strangers they are living with from now on are their new family. Also, there is the issue of authority, because children tend to listen to their biological parents instead of stepparents. On the flip side, parents may favor their own children, which can lead to unhealthy competition among the stepsiblings.
You would think that favoriting the stepchild doesn’t happen, but the story by this dad that he shared on Reddit shows otherwise, or at least people in the comments believe it to be true. They came to this conclusion because the dad agreed to contribute to his stepdaughter’s wedding but refused to help his daughter to finish paying off her student loans.
More info: Reddit
Dad doesn't understand why his daughter is mad about him paying for her stepsister's wedding and not giving her money to help with debt
Image credits: Karolina Grabowska
The Original Poster (OP) has been married to his current wife for 10 years. It wasn’t his first marriage and with his ex-wife, he had two daughters, to which he refers by age in the story. One of them is 25 years old and the other is 19 years old. He also has a 23-year-old stepdaughter and 21-year-old stepson.
His 25-year-old daughter got into an Ivy League university and qualified for a small amount of financial aid, as well as having a college fund. The older daughter continued her studies with her masters degree, is finishing it and has a bit of loans left to pay off, but she is doing great as she entered a paid internship.
The OP's oldest biological daughter got into an Ivy League university and is finishing off her master's degree
Image credits: throwawayaccount2701
The 19-year-old daughter got a full scholarship so the dad put away her college fund money for a home deposit in the future, to which she agreed. He had college funds for his stepsiblings as well, but they were smaller than for his children.
His 23-year-old stepdaughter is getting married next year and is planning a large-scale wedding, so the OP is contributing financially. When his 25-year-old daughter found out about it, she wasn’t happy because she felt it was unfair that her stepsister was being financially supported by her dad and she wasn’t.
While she had some financial aid and got her college fund, she still has some debt to pay
Image credits: throwawayaccount2701
People were ready to defend the dad until they read a comment he wrote as a response to someone asking for more information. What people took from that comment was that the OP didn’t like his 25-year-old daughter’s fiance and not only was he not going to help her pay her debts, but won’t contribute to her wedding either.
In that comment, he also explained that his daughter and her fiance are well off as the fiance already has a good-paying job and the daughter won’t have a problem finding one after her internship and with her experience.
So she thought it wasn't fair her dad was contributing to her stepsister's wedding and she won't get help with either her education or her wedding
Image credits: throwawayaccount2701
If we compare the average cost of a wedding in 2021, which was $28,000 (including the ceremony and reception), and the average student debt, which was around $30,000, we see that on average, education costs more.
Also, you can choose how big and how expensive of a wedding you would like, think about where you can save money and maybe plan a smaller gathering. It’s not that simple with an education, because the costs are already set and choosing a cheaper program to study may mean that you end up with a profession that you don’t feel passionate about.
Image credits: Jonathan Nenemann (not the actual photo)
On the other hand, weddings are hopefully a one-in-a-lifetime event, the purpose of which is to celebrate love, and obviously the dad cares for the stepdaughter’s happiness and thinks that his biological daughter is doing fine on her own.
What do you think of the OP’s situation? Do you think he is favoring his stepdaughter? Or do you think he is providing for his children that need his help the most? Do you think he should support them financially regardless of how much money they earn? Let us know your thoughts in the comments!
People in the comments thought the dad had done enough already, until they found out he didn't like his daughter's fiance, and that changed their minds
