35 Behaviors That Were Turned Into Red Flags But Actually Don’t Mean Anything, According To Folks In This Online Group

The amount of women I know that take it as a red flag that a guy doesn't pay for all dates/buy them things. I'm proud of what I have done with my life and that I can go do those things myself, I like a guy that treats me as an equal. That is not a red flag at all to me

Having an incompatible zodiac sign does not justify treating someone like a red flag. Please stop this madness....

Not answering the phone or the door just because someone is calling or knocking. Once upon a time if you couldn’t get a hold of your friend or family member right away you assumed they were already busy doing something and you found something else to do. If it was of actual importance you would leave a BRIEF message describing why you called.

Now if I don’t jump up off the toilet just to see who is knocking on my front door or calling my landline (I have bad cell reception where I live) without texting first people act like I’m dead or I’m being an a*****e. It’s so easy to text first that if you refuse to do it, I find *that* a red flag.

Not wanting drama. It doesn't mean I cause drama, I've lived with drama and I truly won't put up with it, life is too short.

TruthProfessional340 said:

Going to therapy

DetectiveBennett added:

Considering less than just two generations ago it wasn’t just a red flag but considered as admission of being really damaged, I don’t think society has accepted that it’s actually a good thing just yet. Boomers definitely used to think going to therapy/being in the “looney bin” was sign they were a bad person and I don’t think they’ve really seen the light on that yet. Hopefully our generations will completely break through these prejudices.

Wanting and expecting your privacy to stay intact. I don't want my partner having my computer/phone passwords and I sure as hell don't want him snooping through my phone. I'm not hiding anything, but I am entitled to my privacy, and so is my partner.

Not going to college

I plan to go personally but some people dont. I've been raised to believe people who go to college have their life together or are smarter than the average person. I've learned pretty quickly that people who don't go to college aren't stupid or anything. Some just have a different life path or can't afford it or found a job or buisness that works out better than any colleges opportunities would've given.

College doesn't define a person's worth. It's just an expensive tool to get some people where they want to be.

Not posting pictures with friends on your dating profile. Some people assume you’re anti-social and not pleasant to be around, but I choose not to because I feel weird to post pictures of other people than myself.

Being quiet.

Everyone thinks I’m autistic or a nerd or something. I have no f*****g clue. I kind of shut up about it because I don’t care and I’m not there to try and prove to anyone anything or tell them they are wrong. It’s actually a good filter for me actually. But every one that works with me, or has to be around me for a long enough time, over time, realizes I’m a pretty cool dude and like to do fun s**t.

Someone even told me, “ya know mathaiser, I thought you were a huge dork but you’re actually pretty cool.”

So, what red flag is that? Being kinda quiet/shy. Just because I’m not pressing whatever advantage or peacocking there is, kinda adds to my quality imo. But I don’t think about it like that either. Just trying to explain it.

Setting personal boundaries.

AngelsOfWar01 said:

Being weird in an innocent way. Like society shuns anyone who thinks outside a set of parameters. When really its just a different way to view the world.

Thrillhouse-14 replied:

Agree. I also don't know why everyone feels the need to try and diagnose weirdness as autistic or ADHD or whatever, too. Why does there need to be an excuse for it? And why would a literal disability be the only thing to absolve that? People need to stop trying to railroad others just because they don't understand them. Some people are just built differently. They don't have to understand it, they just have to respect it.

Not owning a car. Idk how that's a red flag for some people, but personally I think public transport is superior

Jealousy. It’s a human emotion. Feeling jealousy isn’t a red flag. Now, punching the wall, or taking that feeling of jealousy out on a person IS a red flag.

Not having any prior sexual or relationship experience

Being “clingy”. Now ACTUALLY being clingy and overstepping boundaries IS a red flag. But these days a lot of things that are perceived as clingy are just people showing genuine interest as opposed to trying to “play it cool.” Just my opinion though.