CuriositiesNOV 7, 2023

“‘Bite’ Them, Run Away”: 30 Weird Things People Could Only Admit To Doing Anonymously

Vėja Elkimavičiūtė and Rokas Laurinavičius

Whether it's due to shifts in mood or a (temporary) lapse in judgment, we sometimes take actions that surprise even ourselves. Even though we know they're uncharacteristic and do not reflect our personality, explaining that to others (who don't have access to our thoughts) can be tricky. So we decide to bury them in our minds.

But this puts additional mental weight on us and a person can only take so much. Luckily, a woman who goes on the internet by the nickname Key_Nectarine_1969 made a post on Reddit, asking platform users, "What's the weirdest thing you've done that you could only tell people anonymously?" and inviting everyone to free themselves of the burden.

Her call was answered. Immediately, the comments section turned into a virtual confession booth, reminding us that keeping secrets is part of being human.

#1

“‘Bite’ Them, Run Away”: 30 Weird Things People Could Only Admit To Doing Anonymously

When I was walking to school one morning, I saw a kid (7-8 yo?) kicking a dog. I ran over & kicked the kid and asked him how it felt. He ran off and no one saw. Still not sorry.

sneezyailurophile, Alvan Nee

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244points

#2

My cat has trained me to give her rides around the house by jumping on my shoulder.

I walk her over to the peephole of the door, she looks out it (at it really).

There is an dangling elephant thing with a bell that my wife has a decoration, she looks at and or sniffs it.

I walk her to the back door to take a look for a minute (its glass).

Then I drop her off at her cat scratching post and she jumps off. She purrs like a freak the entire time. It's adorable.

We do this several times a day.

yarash, Beyzaa Yurtkuran

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189points

We managed to get in touch with Key_Nectarine_1969 and she was kind enough to tell us more about her now-viral post.

"To be honest with you, [I came up with the idea for it when] I was sitting in bed and watching ‘I Am Not Okay With This’ on Netflix," the Redditor told Bored Panda.

"[Then,] a scene popped up of the main character and the potential love interest showing each other their weird secrets. Because of that, the question just suddenly popped into my head!"

#3

As an 8 year old, I was very, very scared of and obsessed with the idea that I was a sinner and going to hell. It led to a couple weird things. I’d pray for hours every night which led to insomnia. I had to name everyone I knew or else they’d surely die because they weren’t being protected by Jesus. If I missed someone on the list, I’d have to start over. Yes, this was OCD.

Secondly, I was pretty sure I was the bride of the devil. I was 100% sure I had been selected to give birth to the antichrist since I was so evil. So I’d routinely punch my stomach really hard to end anything that might be in it. I’d intentionally fall and put myself into dangerous situations with the hope that, even if I was destined to live in hell for eternity, I could save my family from dealing with the f*****g antichrist. Don’t teach your kids religion. Even if they don’t have mental health issues like me, it will f**k them up in ways they will never tell you about.

LVII, Humble Lamb

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141points

#4

I know it's not shameful or wrong, but a buddy and mentor died suddenly in a car accident several years back. I think of him often but especially when I glance over my Steam friend list and see how long he's been offline. I still send him messages once in a while and pretend for a minute he'll log back in and call me up to give me an update on his kids and ask me how my wife's doing, set up another time to play guitar together and get sushi.

HeroToTheSquatch, https://unsplash.com/photos/woman-in-black-and-white-plaid-dress-shirt-using-laptop-computer-GUnNgIYzDVY

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130points

The author of the post noticed some recurring themes among the answers. "Most of them involved a sexual plot, or something along those lines, which is very interesting to me," she said.

This is indicative of a broader pattern, too. When Michael Slepian, Ph.D., who is the Sanford C. Bernstein and Co. Associate Professor of Leadership and Ethics and author of The Secret Life of Secrets: How Our Inner Worlds Shape Well-Being, Relationships, and Who We Are, surveyed 50,000 research participants, he discovered that the most common secrets we keep include a lie we've told (69 percent), romantic desire (61 percent), sex (58 percent), and ﬁnances (58 percent).

#5

I was extremely socially isolated as a child and tried to make friends with the coyotes who lived in the woods by our home. I caught one in a snare and fed and kept her. I wanted a friend.

letthetreeburn, Dmitrii Zhodzishskii

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100points

#6

All throughout middle school, there was someone who tucked unwrapped Hostess Devil Dogs into the toilet paper dispensers in the bathrooms, so that when you pulled some toilet paper out, the devil dog would fall out into your hand. We had to have an assembly about it. That person... Was me.

bejeweled_sky, Jahongir ismoilov

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99points

"I believe that it's often difficult to navigate between the impulse to share a secret and facing potential consequences due to societal standards," Key_Nectarine_1969 said.

"To vaguely quote somebody's confession, 'I still pick my nose and eat it.' Societally speaking, people would judge you. They'd most likely assume that you're immature and, well, gross. Even though the percentage of the population who do this is pretty high! It's difficult because society is hypocritical and judgmental."

"I do believe that online platforms help with this," she added. "They create a sort of anonymity that's basically the equivalent of a safety blanket."

#7

Stole over 1,000 wafers from church because I really liked the communion wafers & didn’t know where else to get them. I felt really blessed & cursed for a long time.

hALLIEcinate, Gabriel Manjarres

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97points

#8

One time I went outside at like 2AM and put the garden hose nozzle into my b******e and sprayed some water into it, then I farted it out onto the lawn. Basically gave myself an enema with a garden hose. I did this because I was bored. My neighbour saw me and told my dad (lived at home at the time).

WaspsInMyGoatse, David Brown

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84points

The hard part of having a secret is having to live with it, alone in your thoughts. As Dr. Slepian wrote, when the only venue to work through it is your own mind, you are not likely to find the most productive way of thinking about it.

Like a carousel that just never stops, each time you think back on it, you may go through the same motions, have the same negative thoughts, reiterate the same regrets, and find yourself getting nowhere.

It often takes a conversation with another person to escape the loop.

#9

I write Guardians of the Galaxy fanfic. My favorite author in the fandom likes my stuff… It’s so much fun, and I wish I could talk about it with people irl…

lafleurcynique, Unseen Studio

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77points

#10

i found a dead rat in a field when i was younger and kissed it bc i wanted to say goodbye

qeleia, David Atkins

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73points

#11

When I was younger I joined a international dating site that I figured was a scam. Put a black square as my picture and gave myself a fake name, and then looked through there users. And after about 10 minutes I had like a 100 messages. Most of them were messages telling me how handsome I was or how these women fell in love with me at first site. Now I knew it was a scam but when ever I felt down or got rejected for a while I would pop back on the site and read a few messages. Yeah it’s kinda cringy and probably pathetic but it made me feel better. I would just turn off that logical part of my brain that knew it was a scam for awhile and just pretend I was this popular and desirable guy. And it honestly got me through the day sometimes.

Demonking3343, Julian Lozano

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73points

#12

Once I got off the subway in NYC and I was super early for an appointment. So I picked a random guy and just followed him on foot for like 30 minutes, pretending I was like a private detective or something. Always kept about a half block behind. He turned this way and that, and eventually went into a building I had lived in 9 years earlier. It was weird, and so was I.

OKsurewhynotyep, Jan Folwarczny

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72points

#13

We got super drunk and ate a ton of spicy food in New Orleans. Back at the B&B, the food started to come out the back side. I was sitting on the toilet s******g bricks of fire. At that moment, the booze decided to hang a u-turn. The trash can was out of reach and I couldn't risk standing up from the toilet for even 5 seconds. The closest receptacle was the bathtub. I managed to turn in such a way that I could keep s******g in the toilet while projectile vomiting into the tub. Both ended up clogged, and there was no plunger. I had to call the owner to explain that I had destroyed both their toilet and their tub simultaneously.

HoopOnPoop, Fred Moon

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72points

#14

I once attended a "silent disco" event at a park, but I didn't have any headphones. So, I just danced along with everyone to the silent beats, pretending to hear the music. It was bizarre to dance in silence, and I couldn't tell anyone because they'd think I was crazy.

shopaholester, Tucker Joenz

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72points

#15

Drove my car into a tree no seat belt trying to un-alive myself, failed and ended up with a badly broken right arm and left hip like total hip replacement. Everyone in my family thinks it was some accident and I've been too embarrassed to admit it wasn't.

Scriptur3, Clark Van Der Beken

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66points

#16

I downloaded Grindr bc I thought maybe I was gay but after a few dudes started messaging me I was like “no” and deleted it

bashbishcrawls, Porapak Apichodilok

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61points

#17

I would do role play chats in these online browser games when I was like 9-14. They'd ALWAYS turn sexual but because I was so innocent at the time I didn't know how to continue, so I'd just... "bite" them, run away, and block them lol.

Lyn-nyx, Chuck Fortner

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58points

#18

I get really awkward and self conscious outside alone but really wanted to watch a movie in the cinemas and BF had no time to accompany me. Guess what, I went there alone, bought the tickets, watched the entire movie laughing and came back home like I did nothing. Still one of my greatest secrets.

No_Measurement_7564

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55points

#19

Was in a thruple for 3 years on the DL in the deep religious south. I was a nurse at the local hospital, hubby was a principal at the jr high and our gf was head of the English dept of the school district the next town over. Our close friends knew, but not really something I can talk about in the break room ya know. Relationship ended for various reasons, but was sure fun while it lasted….

MidWitch3, Helena Lopes

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52points

#20

I’ve always been a slim guy so a couple years ago once I started to gain a bit of weight I looked in the mirror and saw my a*s looks pretty nice, like a girls a*s. I was so damn lonely that I bought myself some female underwear, tights to cover the hair and a skirt and did a photo shoot. Then proceeded to pleasure myself to them. The immense amount of shame I felt for enjoying it put me into a pit of despair. Have not done it since yet sometimes still miss it.

cydesally, Dom J

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51points